Adopting Miracles

Join us on our journey to build our family.I adopted my 2 beautiful boys from foster care after I struggled with infertility.I have stage 4 Endometriosis, POF and suffered miscarriages.My husband also suffers from infertilty.We now have our miracle son born 2009 after using donor embryos. Then our daughter in 2012. In 2014 we welcomed our twin girls! We still have 4 embryos remaining. Follow us as we start the donor embryo process once again late 2016 early 2017.This is our story..

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Feeling kinda down and lonely lately

Maybe it's this cold or whatever I have been fighting but I know part of it has to do with this dang TTC stuff.I have a friend that is pg that doesn't even seem excited.I know that this is her second baby in about 18 months but it was partially planned.Now I love this friend dearly but her reaction to DH poor SA was as follows:"I guess his genetic makeup just wasn't meant to be reproduced" ouch that hurt and she said it very matter a factly with no compassion. Like if you are infertile that somehow you deserve it.I guess that is easy to say when you have a almost 18 month old and are PG again without any help from doctors, just alcohol.She said a few other things to go with it but you get the gist.I had no idea what to say back to her as we were on the phone when this was said, so I had the privacy of being on the other end to have my horrified hurt face.But I know that It did hurt me and I am not sure how she could say that to me when I was clearly upset.So it looks like when I go down this road I again will have to keep everything between me and DH as reaching out to people can get you a slap in the face.When we started trying 13 months ago I thought just maybe we would have a baby by christmas, or at least be PG.But now I know that is impossible.Well I guess that's it for now,I do hope you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving,at least as happy as this whole TTC thing allows us all to be.God Bless you all!

5 comments:

Jen&Carter said...: I am so sorry that your friend said what she said, I know how you feel,and I just don't understand why us, But God does know why and for some reason there is greater and far better plans that he has in store for those of us dealing with IF. Most of my friends are fertile myrtles and a few have as well said some hurtful things and it does start to get in the way of your friendship. But I feel that if they are your friend that they should be compassionate and listen, as well as give you some comfort. Please know that I am here if you need to chat and you are not alone hun. Hugs, keep your chin up our turn is near. Have a good turkey day.; November 26, 2008 at 10:21 PM
amanda said...: oh that was so not nice of your friend. 'i'm sorry' doesn't seem enough. i know it can be 'overwhelming' getting pg quickly after having a baby, but she should be sensitive to the fact that you probably would love to be pg that quickly after all this crazy stuff. argh. friends are kinda crazy.; November 27, 2008 at 8:36 AM
Dan and Gretchen said...: Some people just don't have any compassion. I quickly learned that unless they've been through it, they simply don't understand. I had a lady say to me today "oh you poor thing, you look miserable...I feel so sorry for you,I won't even tell you how much WORK you are in for when they are here", I wanted to tell her, it's all what we make of it, and DON'T feel sorry for me.
I'm so sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that cold comment!!!; November 28, 2008 at 7:41 PM
April said...: oh, come on now...you know that we totally deserve IF! NOT!! just like people do not deserve cancer or diabetes!!

the mock is totally no problem. if you have had an IUI it is basically the same, except that it is under ultrasound and they measure things a little differently.

when is yours?

thinking of you. xx; November 30, 2008 at 7:44 PM
Anonymous said...: Ouch...that must have stung. People who haven't been through this don't know how much those comments can hurt.
I'm sorry you don't have your Xmas baby...HUGS to you.; December 2, 2008 at 10:51 AM

Feel free to contact me with questions about using donor embryos :-)

I would like to make myself available to anyone who is interested in learning more about embryo adoption/using donated embryos.If you would like an honest opinion and or support from someone who has gone through the process and what my experience was like feel free to contact me through comment or email.I will be glad to be there for you whether you are just looking into the option or already started the process, I am here for you.I would be glad to share as much information as I can that can help you in your decision.

dream83004 @ yahoo. com

My TTC, adoption timeline, started 11 years ago

September 7, 2011 First U/S. We saw the heartbeat! EDD is May 3rd.
August 25, 2011 Second Beta 531!
August 23, 2011 First Beta 206! We're Pregnant!
August 12,2011 FET Our last embryo makes the thaw and is transferred
July 16, Start meds for new cycle
May 27, Negative Beta :-(
May 16, Transfer day, both embryos make the thaw
May 5, Start new medication protocol
April 30, Cycle cancelled due to lack of response
April 17, First shot
March 29,2011 Mock transfer and sono
March 27,2011 Start BCP's for new FET cycle
February 21,2011 Consult appointment for new FET cycle
December 15, I give birth to a beautiful baby boy
April 17, Second Positive Beta 375
April 15, First Positive Beta 135
April 13, Positive Home pregnancy Test (BFP)
April 4, 2009 - Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET)
March 23, 2009 - Lupron added to Follistim protocol
February 24,2009 - Transfer canceled due to the cyst rupturing making my body think it is time for a period, Birth control pills are started to regulate cycle and we are planning to use my next cycle
February 24,2009 - scheduled ultrasound and bloodwork, still spotting
February 23,2009 - I have left ovary sharp very uncomfortable pain, I reassure myself its only the cyst possibly draining, few hours later I start spotting
February 20,2009 - Go in for Bloodwork and Ultrasound, they see same cyst on one ovary and small follies in other, meds are upped
February 16, 2009 - Start follistim
Transfer tenatively planned for february 28th
February 13,2009 - Baseline Ultrasound, they see a cyst but are unconcerned just wanna watch it
January 25,2009 - Bloodwork and lots of it ,DH and I get all our bloodwork done and paperwork notorized
January 2,2009 - Mock transfer and Offically accept embryo set
December 29,2008 - Get a call about embryos that are available
November 18, - meeting with donor co-oridinator
November 5,2008 - we officially put our selves on the donated embryos waiting list
October 20, 2008 - Ultrasound and then while we are there they give us DH SA results and basically say there is no way we will concieve on our own as DH count is normal but his morphology and motility are way below normal,cycle shutdown never use ovidrel
October 15, 2008 - Dh has SA
October 2008 - Start clomid (it all comes back to me how evil that drug is,I feel miserable)
September 8,2008 - Appointment with RE clomid is prescribed (it was not my usual RE he was out)
May 24, 2008 - We get married!!
November 2007 - We began TTC naturally only using a fertilty monitor
October 21,2007 - He proposes, I say yes!
October 20, 2007 - We move into our current home together(yeah I know ,I know I didn't think I was gonna ever date him but he was relentless lol)
October 2007- 4th Laproscopy and Hysteroscopy
January 2007 Meet my current husband through a friend but we do not date yet I actually never thought I would ever date him, his age scared me off a bit since he is younger than me
The years of TTC and fostering amongst other things have taken their toll and we separate and after the waiting period divorce amicably, I retain custody of my boys but he is an active loving father and still one of my close friends
Over the years I would end up fostering 17 placements with only 2 ever becoming adoptable and not without many ups and downs and heartbreak,reunification is the first goal.I just wanted to give others an approximate idea of the ratio of placements to adoptions so they can see things clearly before they make a decision if fostering is right for them
May 31,2006 - My second sons adoption is completed and official
More placements come and go
November, 2005 3rd Laproscopy and Hysteroscopy
May 19, 2005 - another placement of an infant boy ,he was 10 days old (he too would become my son)
May 19,2005 - My first sons adoption is finally official!
More placements came and went through the years, painful but I was always realistic with the ones that had a reunification plan, reunification with the bio parents was always the goal
May 2005 - baby M. left.We had cared for baby M. for a few months growing very attached and then out of nowhere came a cousin that all of the sudden wanted him and before I could barely blink my baby was gone, I never got over it and still miss him dearly.(I miss you baby M.I have never forgotten you.I wonder what you look like now,you would be five now.....)
Right from the start we were told that he was almost positively adoptable we continued loving him and bonding with him as if he was our forever child.And after about a month he was allowed to come home they were in the process of terminating the parents rights,it was a for sure termination and there were no other relatives wanting him or even trying to visit him when he was in the NICU
February 27,2004 - Accepted third placement of infant preemie boy he wasn't even out of hospital yet and was airlifted about an hour and a half away, we went to see him there and did cares such as tube feedings and kangeroo care and then after a week or so he was brought to a local hospital NICU where we continued doing cares for him,We were told that there was no reunification plan in place he was going up for adoption and that we should plan to become his parents, we were estatic
March 24,2003 - Get second placement of a 7 day old infant boy (he would become my son but it would take 2 1/2 years to become final as there would be heartbreaking ups and downs in the case) it would change almost monthly whether he was staying or going to a bio family
September 2002 - get first placement a boy who is 3 1/2 and would end of staying 17 months and then was returned to bio parent in January 2004
August 2002 - become foster parents
Continue to TTC using a fertility monitor
December 2001 - run out of money can not continue we have no infertility coverage at all not even meds,we are officially spending more than we earn on infertilty
November 2001 - 2nd cycle on injectibles this time with IUI BFN
October 2001 - Injectibles started,repronex follistim and ovidrel ,not good response meds upped BFN
I do one more cycle on clomid and the I get very severe abdominal pains,end up in ER, where they discover I have had a large cyst caused by the clomid rupture and there are more cysts, cycle and clomid stopped
I do 2 cycles, no luck BFN's for both
Late summer 2001 start clomid
Summer of 2001 2nd laproscopy and hysteroscopy performed
TTC for over a year, no luck
May 1999 - given hormone pills to make AF come back, it works
April 1999 - AF still is a no show
March 1999 - AF doesn't return even though shots are done
August 1999 - Lupron shots are started for the duration of 6 months,to put me into menapause it is supposed to decrease the endo
July 9,1999 - Laproscopy and Hysteroscopy performed and stage 3-4 endometriosis found
June 4,1999 - D&C performed
May 27,1999 - Miscarriage
April 1999 - Pregnant
December 1998 - TTC again this time with temping,charting and ovulation predictors
October 13,1998 - D&C performed
October 10,1998 - Miscarriage
October 1,1998 - pregnancy confirmed at doctors appointment it is decided that I am 5 weeks gestation
September 28,1998 - Pregnant
Started using ovulation predictors a few months later
March 1998 - started to TTC with what is now my Ex husband

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Feeling kinda down and lonely lately

5 comments:

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