Mason hospitalization update

Well the test came back positive for RSV.The doctor said he will not be going home today, probably not tomorrow and honestly he does not know when. I hate having to split our family up like this. DH and I stayed up there last night and we are going to tonight but after that I have no one to watch my other boys. It is so hard to see him struggling to breath and in pain. He had a temp over 101 degrees last night.He is on breathing treatments every four hours.And on oxygen and a pulse oxygen meter 24 hours a day.Hard to believe all of this started out looking like the sniffles, even the doctor thought that it was a simple cold but also said to watch for it to get worse as RSV was going around.It started with a couple of coughs on Monday, we saw the doctor on Tuesday as we already had a well check that day. It got worse with stuffy, runny nose on Wednesday and and larger cough and small temp.By Thursday morning I was calling the doctor, got a sick appointment scheduled for that day and then at the appointment the doctor said he wanted him admitted.So here we are. Here are a few pics and pardon me and my just woke up after only 2 hours sleep look. I still have part of my baby weight that I would love to lose but it is slowly coming off. Everyone says be patient it will happen so I am trying. Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers.God bless you all!

prayers needed for little mason!

I am asking for all my girls to pray for our little miracle as he has been just admitted to the hospital,they think he has RSV. We just stopped home after bringing him there to get a few things and let our dogs out.We stayed through the bloodwork,BP check, x rays, RSV test etc. We will find out the results tonight when we go back.I will update as soon as possible.It broke our hearts to leave him there..

Birth story part 2

So after my OB assuring me that things would be fine we then left her office and headed for home which was only 7 minutes away.We had to get our hospital bags,let the dogs out,grab extra key for my ex husband to let our dogs out and watch the house while we were away.We stopped to my ex's house, kissed my 4 year old (he had the boys already since it had been his weekend he keeps them until Monday afternoon since he works second,my 6 year old was at school),gave my ex the keys dropped the boys bags off which included elaborate instructions for a friend of ours that was gonna sit for them while their dad worked that night.We then headed for the birth center me still having contractions which luckily is only 3 minutes from my ex's house.We then went to the front desk and told them that our OB had wanted me to be admitted.The looked around for papers but could not find orders.They just left me standing there in horrible pain having contractions.DH who was very irritated at them by this point said "what is she supposed to do, you gonna just leave her standing at the desk in labor?????" The lady was like "oh well you guys can go down to the family waiting room while we contact her OB."I was thinking to myself are you serious? But I really had no other choice.So we go down the hall to the family waiting room which was full of people and kids running back and forth.One almost ran full blast into my pregnant belly!!It was complete chaos kids were putting things in the microwave and repeatedly slamming it and people were yelling and laughing loudly.I was so overwhelmed, sleep deprived and in so much pain.I told DH with tears starting to come"I can't do this I can't be in here anymore". So we got up and went back out in the hall and he went to the front desk and was like"you are gonna have to put her somewhere she is in labor and it is crazy in the waiting room!" So they then put me in testing and hooked me up to the monitors etc. They still had not and were not admitting me.After I was gowned and connected to the monitors they checked my cervix , and commented how hard it was to get to my cervix and how the baby's head was " oh my, right there!". I was dilated 3 cm and I was 90% effaced. So not much change from before but there was change.They could see on the monitor that I was having contractions but it is impossible to tell how intense they are without an internal monitor.But trust me they were horrible!! They then went to report their findings to the OB doc that was there from my OB office and I guess he decided that it was pointless to admit me since I was not more dilated etc. I was like "what!" I am having horrible contractions and my own doctor sent me here.So this went around for hours them not wanting to admit me and me being in horrible none medicated pain laying there as it was left at that I would have to wait for my own OB to finish her shift at her office and come admit me herself.So 6 1/2 hours passed with no pain meds and me just laying on my back waiting and writhing in tremendous pain.I was having such bad contractions that all I could do was cry and grip the bed rails waiting for someone to do something. I was in the testing area where there were 4 other beds for people to be in and only curtains separating us. I had no real privacy.My doctor didn't show up until between 6:45pm and then finally after several minutes of haggling got me admitted. She was pissed that no one had admitted me and that they made her come and do it herself instead of just taking care of me, she then left to go get her IV meds done.I finally had a room by 8pm that night. Now I remind you we arrived there at 1pm, so 7 hours later I was finally admitted.Even after I was the staff acted as though I was a waste of their time and that there was no way this baby was coming anytime soon, so umm why hurry. They all moved in slow motion and laughed and talked amongst themselves while barely taking care of me.So after they did start to pay more attention to me they asked me if I wanted an epidural and I said "Yes!!" "I have been in labor for 3 days I want an epidural" Then the one nurse tried to talk me out of it saying well you won't be able to walk the halls or get in the tub if you have one". I was like I have already walked the halls here and at home and taken hot baths for the past three days it is overrated, just give me the epidural.She seemed annoyed that I wanted one and said it would take an hour or so to get someone there. I was like seriously? So we waited and waited. Me still in severe pain. And people still checking me going "wow his head is right there" I was so sick of hearing this statement at this point it seemed pointless to them that it just may hurt a bit, a ton to have your baby trying push his own way out of my uterus since my cervix wasn't cooperating.Of course the resident doctor was a piece of work he was the creepiest and skeeviest, most unprofessional doctor I have ever met,maybe I will write about that another time as he left an emotional mark on me forever.So the anesthesiologist gets there and the epidural goes very smooth and he is the nicest person on staff that I had dealt with at that point.Not to long after the epidural was done they called in creepy resident doc so he could break my bag of water.Then they asked if I wanted to be cathed I was like "no". So they let me try to use the potty chair real quick so I could start of with a empty bladder and to see if I was capable of going without a catheter.I was successful so no cath, yea! for something.Within 10 minutes I was feeling a ton of pressure and told the nurse.Her answer back was it's probably good pressure, probably means your cervix is changing.I was like "umm ok."So after a few more times of me mentioning the pressure was really strong and that I also felt burning, and her still telling me I was fine and it was good pressure she checked my cervix was which was now at 5cm.She was a bit surprised but didn't seem to worried yet.She was like "good your making progress, I am gonna go get the pitocin so we can get that going." The whole staff there felt that after I was given pain meds and given pitocin the earliest that my baby would be born would be Tuesday late afternoon the next day.They felt that I was too little dilated and not progressed enough to deliver anytime soon.They acted as If I did not know my own body and that I was being a wimp coming in so early.They did discover after they decided to hook up the internal monitor that I was having very strong and long contractions. Hmm really, geez I had no idea?????,Maybe I should have told them about them, Except I DID!!! Over and over ,ever since I got there that day and when my husband called 1 and 2 days before that Monday!! So the nurse was getting ready to hang and start the pitocin (because they all genuinely believed that I needed this drug to have the baby since I wasn't in "real" labor yet."whatever")I never asked for it nor did I really want it.But before she could finish even opening it I told her "I have a ton of pressure and burning I can barely breath and can feel something moving inside of me". "She was like umm I guess I will check you real quick". She did and then she looked surprised and panicked.She told me I was now at 8 plus cm's completely effaced and that she really needed to get a hold of the OB doc that was on call but she wasn't sure he would make it in time.They had spent some much time betting on that I was just some wimp who did not know her own body that they hadn't even planned that I would deliver without several hours of pitocin on my own.The fact of the matter was after the epidural was placed and after they broke my water and then I guess me emptying my bladder allowed my uterus to progress very quickly.It was just like my own OB said that I was in labor but my body was not co operating and if I get pain relief it probably would.It was only about 45 minutes or less after the epidural was placed that I had progressed to 5 cm and then about 30 minutes after that I was at 8 plus cm and then the rest of the time was spent waiting for the on call OB to arrive.By the time he arrived I was beyond ready to push. Everyone got into position and I started to push It only took me 15 minutes of actual pushes to get him out.They were all amazed that I got him out so quick.They said it is rare for a woman that is giving birth for the first time to go that quick especially since I also had an epidural which can slow things down. All I can say is I had been in labor for 3 days and Mason and I were both ready to get this done.I also had the worry of my little mason as his heart rate started to dip during labor before the OB doc arrived they had me move in bed to different positions including my knees to try to get his heart rate up. After the Ob finally got there little mason still continued to have huge dips in his heart rate, I could see the monitor while I was pushing and I knew I had to get my baby boy out fast.He would dip down to 60 from 148bpm.It was scary! They said since he had been in my pelvis so long with all of the contractions I had been having he was being squeezed and in distress.Hmm I wonder who"s fault that is!! I told them hours even days before that I was indeed in labor!! But they didn't want to believe me. When he came out he had a huge bruise on his head from being posterior (which explains the back labor), he turned just before coming out.They said his head kept slamming against my pelvic bones during contractions and the fact that he had been trying to get out for so long.So all along he was indeed trying to make his own way out since my cervix would not co operate due to me being in so much pain and exhausted, but no one would listen to me.He also had a bleeding cut on his head where his internal monitor ripped out as he was being born I felt so bad for him.A minute or two after he was born they took him and looked him over and decided that he was a bit grunty and may be having trouble breathing properly.His pulse/Oxygen level was a bit low and they wanted to bring him to the nursery for further observation and continued care.So we only saw him for a couple minutes and he was gone, that was hard.I did end up getting a 2nd degree tear so that needed to be attended to and apparently they cut a couple small cysts out of inside me while they were in there, without asking me first "umm thanks, maybe I was saving those" just kidding but it would have been nice to be asked or even told what they were doing since I didn't even know I had any cysts inside me.After he was born the nurse told me that I was only minutes away from a emergency c-section as the OB and resident doc had not planned to let the labor go on much longer with the baby's heart rate dropping like that. I had no idea that a c section was that close to happening but I am glad I got baby boy out as quick as I did.All I have to say is that epidurals do not take away all the pain they only help with contractions which I could still feel,but it did not help with any of the umm who who pain. I felt everything, the burning,stretching, tearing, pressure you name it and boy did that hurt, bad. But it still was more tolerable than being in back labor for 3 days with no meds because at least there was an end in sight.................I will stop here for now as I have already typed a ton and it will be a long read for all of you.I will finish the story and catch you up on the goings on around here during our first weeks home and current.Until next time hugs to you all!

Mason 1 month pictures on my new slide show

I just added a slide show to my blog and on it right now are Mason's one month pictures.The first song that plays when you view my blog is one that I picked out specially for how we feel about our little miracle arriving and it fits my slidshow perfectly.I took all of the pictures myself and hope you all enjoy them.Let me know what you think.I was pretty happy with how they turned out.I like shooting photos in black and white.There are 21 photos that I have put on there for now I have a few more and will post them later.The snowflake in the pictures is the same one that we bought when we first received our embryo set.There is a picture of it at the bottom of my blog from when we first got it.And the cross necklace that is in the picture is the one I wear all the time and I too have a picture of me holding it the day of our wedding while I was getting ready.The bear is one that we made for him while I was pregnant.I wanted to include items that are sentimental to us.I will work on the next post in my birth story tonight and will add it soon.Thank you for your supportive comments they really mean a lot to me.Hope you all are doing well.((hugs))

Birth story part 1 and Sunday was my 33rd Birthday

Well where should I begin,it all started days before when on that Thursday night/very early Friday morning (December 11th) I woke up with pretty bad cramps. I ignored them and tried to fall back sleep figuring they were just very early labor pains or braxton hicks. The cramps got worse through out the day.I still was not in immense pain yet.Very uncomfortable yes, screaming out in pain no.That night (Friday night) it got way worse and the cramps/contractions got much more painful. I did not sleep that whole night except a 10-15 minute nap here and there as the contractions kept waking me up.They got even stronger as the night wore on DH was timing them and they were anywhere from 5-15 minutes apart. By the next morning (Saturday 12-12-09) I was in a lot of pain and could no longer just wait it out, so we went into the birthing center that afternoon and they hooked me up to the monitors etc and checked my cervix. They said I was dilated to 1cm and 70% effaced.They too said my cervix was very hard to get to since his head was coming down in front of it which was pushing my cervix to the back of me.( I mention this on a previous post when I had a OB appointment but apparently my cervix was even farther back this time and his head further down, the nurse even said "wow his head is like right there!") They told us to walk the halls for 30 minutes if there was no change I would be sent home, which is what happened.They said I was most likely in very early labor and there was nothing to do but to go home.I went home still in a lot of pain which only got worse.By that night I was in excruciating pain I was moaning out loud and partially screaming. I was in tears most of the time. I felt helpless and frustrated and very very tired.Each time I would dose off it would only be for a couple minutes and when a contraction hit I would fly out of bed as fast as I could all pregnant and huge and stand up with my hands resting on the bed for balance and moan and sway and cry. My back was killing me the pain was so bad that when the contraction happened I could not get off my back fast enough.Dh was trying to comfort me by rubbing my back but it didn't help, only seemed to make it worse since there was no part of me that wanted to be touched at all. I had no idea how to comfort myself so there was little chance that he could either.By the next day, Sunday (12-13-09) I was exhausted, miserable and feeling like a failure.I felt like if this is early labor and I am in this much pain I must be a huge wimp.All the books say how early labor is only mildly uncomfortable and that most women continue with their daily routine. I was like are you kidding me there is no way I can hardly walk much less continue with my daily routine.I tried everything that Sunday to help the pain I tried breathing techniques, heat packs, sitting in a warm tub and massage. None of it helped at all. DH called the birthing center that night(Sunday night) to tell them how much pain I was in and that my contractions had been very regular and at a point 2 minutes apart.Now while I was having contractions 2 minutes apart they would not stay that way they did however follow a very regular pattern which only served to confuse us more. They had been anywhere from 2-15 minutes apart never more never less. It would start like this I would have two 15 minute apart contractions and then maybe two 9 minute apart contractions then three or four 5 minute apart ones and then three or four 2 minute ones.And they were all lasting two minutes each. The whole cycle would repeat itself over and over again.The nurse at the birthing center was not convinced I was in actual labor yet due to the varying lengths of my contractions. He told her I was in immense pain in turn she was snotty to DH and said "You know it is called labor for a reason.If you come in then you most likely will be sent home but I guess you can come in if you want" I was sitting in our tub crying the whole he was on the phone with her.We both decided to wait it out since we knew our chances of being taken seriously were slim to none. I also was thankful that I had an OB appointment the next morning and was hoping at least my OB would listen.So I for the 3rd night now went without any real sleep I had a 5- 10 minutes between contractions but honestly I was worn out. My entire being was exhausted mind and body.I made it to my OB appointment and was in so much pain there that even the nurse noticed I wasn't my happy self and said something to DH while I was collecting my urine sample he then told her I was in a lot of pain and bit about what was going on. I went to the exam room after finishing in the bathroom where I continued to be miserable. I braced myself against the counter as contraction after contraction came. I was in tears and that is when my OB came in and took one look at me and knew I was in actual labor not early labor especially after we told her what the previous days had held.She then said I want to you admitted today, right now. Her theory about my pain and lack of cervical dilation was that I was in so much pain and so incredibly sleep deprived that I was in labor and had been for days but my body was so worn out that my cervix would not progress.She said if I got admitted and got some pain relief she had a pretty good feeling that I would progress on my own and if not we would proceed with the previously scheduled induction a day early.The bad side was that she could not be there, as she herself has a auto immune condition that requires her to get IV meds every Monday and that was what day it was. She said no worries though as one of the other OB's would be there to take care of me. It ended up being the only one in the practice that I had yet to meet............This is where I will end for now as my story is quite long and at times very disappointing and emotionally hurtful.I don't want to overwhelm any of you with too long of a post, rest assured that I will finish it and I am sorry that it has taken this long. I have been a bit blue/down due to it,lack of sleep and changing hormones that is partially why I have not posted in so long.I have however been still following all of you wonderful ladies just haven't felt like posting until now. ((hugs)) I will include a few pics of our precious baby!

Mason Matthew has arrived!!

I am so very tired but will share a few details and pics with all of you. Mason Matthew arrived Tuesday December 15th at 2:25 AM. He was 6 pounds 7 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long.He is so little that newborn size clothes are still too big on him and 0-3months clothes are huge. He is so beautiful!! We were discharged on Thursday the 17th in the afternoon.There is a very long birth story and a few complications that made it so they had to take him away right after birth so my dreams of bonding and breast feeding right after he was born were not possible. The good news is he is now healthy but required extra monitors and testing while we were there. I was so excited to hold my baby boy the day we left as it would be the first time without a IV in his head or monitor leads all over his body. Girls he is just precious and I am so very in love. I will share the details of our birth story and labor which technically started last Saturday the 12th of December. For those of you that remember I was have contractions etc but no one knew that I was not just in early labor but actual labor with failure to progress that also included back labor(ouch!)For now enjoy the pics!! ((hugs and God bless!))

I was told it could be anytime. plus **UPDATE** on this previously posted post

I had to go in to the birthing center today because I have been having contractions that are making me down right miserable.When I went in they said I was 70% effaced and 1 cm dialated.They had us walk the halls for a half an hour and checked me again. No change, so I was sent home after they gave me somethin to help me sleep which didn't really work since my contractions keep waking me up. My contractions have been anywhere from 4 minutes apart to 15 minutes apart, all I know is about 75% of they are excruiating.This all started over 24 hours ago.I did not know that early labor would be as painful and more painful than my endometriosis.When I was at the birthing center they hooked me to the monitors and confirmed that I was having contractions.They said the baby is doing good. They said the would be shocked if I made it to my induction date on wednesday.I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow morning, if I make it that far.I will post more and update when I know more.

***UPDATE***
Had my appointment this morning and they are admitting me. My OB thinks that my very tricky /difficult cervix plus my endometriosis is the culprit to why I am having labor pains that are far greater than what I should be having for early labor.I am currently 2+ cm dilated and 90% effaced,so I did change from yesterday but considering I have been in labor since friday evening my doctor thinks that they should go ahead and admit me since I have had no sleep since thursday night due to contractions and that my cervix may be being difficult for the reasons I mentioned earlier. She said that the baby is all the way down and ready but my cervix just isn't cooperating.They want to get me in and medicated so I can get some pain relief and rest for a while. Then they will check me again and see if giving my body some relief will allow it to continue to dilate on it's on if not then they will proceed with induction. I will post when I am able but will not be taking my laptop to the birthing center so it could be a few days.((hugs)) to you all!!!

Cannot believe were are almost there!

34 weeks 2 days

37 weeks 1 day

38 weeks 1 day

I don't think I mentioned in my last post that we now have to go in for 2 NST's (non- stress test) a week, and also our OB appointment which is now weekly.These appointments keep us very busy.Our NST's have been going well and so have our appointments except that she just cannot seem to get to my cervix to check it.She was able to feel it a bit last time enough to be able to tell that is was softening.But it was with great difficulty and pain to me.This time was excruciatingly painful and in the end she couldn't quite feel it.So I have no idea if it is changing etc.She said because his head is right there it is rotating my cervix to the back and makes it very very hard to get to.Lets just say I am defiantly not looking forward to my appointment next week. Did anyone experience this problem? One of my friends said that her OB had to dig for hers too and it made her sore for a couple of days afterwards,I am having the same problem.I want to thank everyone who shared their induction stories with me it is greatly appreciated.I think I will probably go ahead with the induction on the 16th, I felt a bit better about it when I found out that they will bring me in on the 15th to place cervidil on my cervix, which should help things along sooner and reduce my chances of a c-section.Of course I am still hoping that he decides to come on his own before then which is only 8 days from now.I can't believe how close it is. We were officially 38 weeks yesterday. I will be including belly shots with this post as I have gotten a bit behind in posting them. We have been taking them just not posting them.Well that is all that is new for right now I hope everyone is doing well.God bless you all!! Oh and on my next post I will be sharing our nursery that is being completed on a very tight budget or should I say no budget :-). I will share some of our money saving ideas and tricks we used.

Well here it is and I am looking for opinions...

I had my appointment today and it went well. My blood pressure was down by 19 points for the top number and 2 for the bottom compared to a week ago. I am back into the realm of normal for me now.Also my weight which has to be a fluke is down my ten pounds from a week ago. My feet look better and my skin is not as tight feeling.The results from my blood work all looked good but the results from my 24 hour urine were mediocre.Apparently normal is 100 or below and preclamptic is 300 or higher. I however was 189 as of thanksgiving day.So that puts me in grey area which also means I am creeping towards preeclampsia.They plan to watch me close.Also they scheduled me for induction on December 16th only 16 days away. It isn't completely necessary at this point but I think they fear it will be with my urine numbers rising. She said they usually do schedule inductions around the holidays when a due date is so close to them. My actual due date is December 21st.I am not sure how I feel about being induced or if I want it to happen that way. The planner in me likes being able to plan for someone to watch our dogs and house and my boys.Also I like knowing he will be here for sure for Christmas and will not have a christmas eve or christmas day birthday that he hates having.I also fear that maybe the longer I wait my chances of getting preeclamptic will rise.The other part of me wants something during this pregnancy to happen naturally. It can be a bit hard when you undergo invitro, suffered IF and MC's to feel like a completely normal pregnant woman.I have heard that being induced is much more painful and tiring on the mom.The doctor told me that we can always cancel the induction so here I sit unable to commit to either side this is where all you girls come in. Please share with me any and all induction knowledge you have even if it isn't you directly, it could be a sister,friends,cousins, an in law or your own experience.Or anything you know or have learned about it.I also welcome your opinions as I need help making this huge decision unless baby boy makes it for me and comes before then which I am hoping he will.I am scared and nervous and don't want to make the wrong decision so feel free to email stories or post them in the comments. My email is on my page sidebar.Hugs to you all and I look forward to your input.

Appointment coming up on monday and latest visit to the birthing center in the middle of the night

So recently I have found myself at the birthing center twice to be monitored.The first time I was having contractions and braxtons all day and of course by the time I could have the boys dad come get them it was 12:30 am and I didn't show any signs of contractions anymore when hooked up to the monitors.That was about 3 weeks ago or so now.They checked my cervix which looked good but my urine did show I was slightly dehydrated.The latest trip was a week ago this time it was because my feet had been swelling so bad for the 3 days prior that I seriously did not recognize them anymore.They looked broken they were so puffy and round.When DH called the birthing center and asked them about my symptoms etc they asked him several questions to ask me and then asked me to come in and be seen. So that was another trip in the middle of the night. While I was there they noted the swelling and said I had the beginnings of pitting starting on part of my feet.(it is where you push on the skin and it doesn't bounce back right away)They also hooked me to the monitors and said baby boy looked really good.My urine came back and they said I was VERY dehydrated and that I also have some protein in my urine.My blood pressure has risen again but is not preeclamptic yet.They released me with instructions to call my doctor and to drink plenty of fluids which honestly I have been trying to do all along. Part of the problem I think is I just can't drink as much as they would like me to due to my horrible acid reflux even water burns and shoots back up my throat filling my mouth which in turn I have to spit out as it tastes like acid.Or it just causes me to throw up, I never know which will happen.When I talked to my doctors office this week they said they were concerned by my rise in blood pressure while it is not overly high for most people it is for me. I have always had very low blood pressure.They also were concerned about the water retention,protein in my urine and dehydration.They then ordered me a full blood work up, urine analysis and a 24 hour urine analysis.The nurse said I am creeping towards preeclampsia.I had the labs done and then did the 24 hour urine which I turned in on thanksgiving. I have an appointment on monday for my 37 week appointment and to review my labs.I will update everyone as so as I find out what my doctor has to say about it all.Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Only 23 days to go girls if I make it that long, where has the time gone? ((HUGS)) and God bless!

Things I didn't know before I was pregnant...

I didn't know that getting dressed and putting on socks and shoes would become such a chore.

I didn't know that the small things would cause me to become winded and out of breath.

I didn't know that I would have mysterious pains that even when asked medical professionals would not be able to explain.

I didn't know that finding a comfortable position to sleep in would be next to impossible.

I didn't know that I would be up every 2-3 hours to pee every night for the entire pregnancy and that I would learn to go on auto pilot to make it to the bathroom in the dark.

I didn't know that using the bathroom and wiping afterwards would be so difficult.

I didn't know that getting up from any laying or sitting position would become such a huge production.

I didn't know that I would find that picking things up off the floor would be so uncomfortable and painful that in many cases I will just leave it instead of picking it up.

I didn't know that I would have acid reflux so bad that I feel as though a jalapeno is sitting in the back of my throat for hours.

I didn't know it was possible to aspirate in your sleep and that it was so scary.

I didn't know that I would come to know a new kind of laziness and complete exhaustion.

But on the flip side of what I didn't know........

I didn't know that I would love someone so much that I have yet to meet.

I didn't know that I would embrace all of the misery just to be able to see your precious face and hold you.

I didn't know that all it would take is a few kicks from you and I would forget my discomforts for a while.

I didn't know that I would enjoy talking to someone so much that can't answer me back.

I didn't know that seeing your older brothers being so excited for your arrival and them already thinking of you and your needs would touch my heart so much and make me so proud of the wonderful boys they are becoming.

I didn't know that your daddy would be as excited as me for your arrival and enjoy looking at and picking things out for you with a huge grin on his face.

I didn't know that no matter where I am or what I am doing I would never feel alone while you are in my belly.

I didn't know that hearing your heartbeat would be such sweet music that I can't get enough of.

I didn't know that seeing you on ultrasound would be so incredibly beautiful.

I didn't know that I would come to fall in love with your daddy even more as we prepare and wait for your arrival.He has become so attentive and patient to my needs while I am pregnant with you.

I didn't know that being pregnant with you would go by so very fast.

Lots of news!! Name annoucement, U/S update and calling out all lurkers :-)

Well where to begin.First I want to thank April and Michele for the goodies they sent in the mail.That was so sweet of them and I want to thank them for participating in my online baby shower that Tammy and Kami started.Here are the links to Tammy and Kami's blogs just copy and paste.( I just want to acknowledge that they are the reason for all of these blessings we have received, and of course all of you fellow kind hearted bloggers!)

Tammy's blog

http://twondra.blogspot.com/2009/09/online-baby-shower.html

Kami's blog

http://themurphy4.blogspot.com/2009/09/online-baby-shower.html

Michelle sent us a very much needed package of newborn diapers and the adorable moo sounds milk and cookies toy we registered for! I just know our baby will love playing with that.

April sent us a wonderful two pack of avent bottles, soothie pacifiers and a very cute soothie holder.She also included a note card with some very kind thoughts and words of encouragement.

Thank you both! You have no idea how much it means to us!!


Next I would like to ask all of my blog lurkers to come out and introduce yourself and maybe follow officially so I can get to know you and your story as well!! I am very excited to get a chance "meet" you all.

We completed our birthing classes this weekend which we both enjoyed and found to be informative.We chose to do the condensed weekend version as we never know when our little baby will decide to come.And my boys were with their dad so we would not need to find a sitter for several different days.We had a couple of long days but it was helpful.Saturday alone we attended for 7 hours straight with a break for lunch.And on Sunday we attended for 3 hours.But we now have our certificate of completion and are done and getting ready for our little miracle!

We are currently 31 weeks pregnant but here is our 29 week belly pic.DH is going to take another one tonight or tomorrow.(our official due date got moved up sooner by two days and I forgot to change my ticker until today oops!)Anyway that puts our due date 2 days closer than before wow, which they reconfirmed when they called today!

We had our OB appointment last Thursday and it went well. I am up 21 pounds (yowser!) but I am told that it is well within the normal range for where I am at in my pregnancy.Still umm yikes! We were then scheduled for a full U/S on the next day to check for fetal growth.I got the results today and they said he is doing great, yes he still has boy parts (lol), I have had them check at 3 different U/S's to avoid a surprise later :-).They said his organs look good and everything looks normal.He is now about 3.4 pounds and is in the 50% group for fetus's at his age of development.So he is officially average.Which we are definitely happy about.They also checked my cervical length again and it was good.The tech had a new tech helping her so they took lots of time to look him over and held the wand right over him on my belly without moving it for a bit and we all could see his little eyes looking around.We saw him blink and watched his actual eyeball rotate and shift from side to side as if we was trying to figure out what was going on out there and what were we all doing.It was really cool.And before that we saw him suckling it was adorable.I am so in love with this little guy!! Unfortunately we were unable to get any pics that were very good due to how he was laying with the placenta.Here are a few 1 is a face pic ,another is of both feet which are conveniently located under my ribs lol and the another is a side profile of his foot.He is currently head down pressing right against my cervix with his feet up and under my left ribs and his little bottom is on my right side.Basically he is in a "L" shape.He is very spread out and comfy I guess :-)



Now as I promised I will reveal our baby "nanners" real name (first and middle)....Can I have the envelope please? And the winner is.... Mason Matthew!!!
So there you have it our little miracle has a name besides his nick name but we still use both when we refer to him.

Goodies arrrived in the mail!!

I cannot tell you how much fun it has been to get goodies in the mail from you wonderful girls! Your kindness and generousity it greatly appreciated.I want to take a minute to thank those of you that have participated in my online baby shower given by Tammy and Kami.I copied and pasted the links to their blogs from my previous post.(someday maybe someone can teach me how to put a link in under the persons name etc cause mine are always the none functional copy and past ones)lol

Tammy's blog

http://twondra.blogspot.com/2009/09/online-baby-shower.html

Kami's blog

http://themurphy4.blogspot.com/2009/09/online-baby-shower.html

It has been so exciting to have a package arrive in the mail for the last few days.I get so giddy and excited that I barely get inside the house before I am trying to open it.DH has gotten a big kick out of it and says he loves seeing me so happy and smiling.I am always telling "nanner" that it looks like he's got a present when I see that a package has arrived.I want to acknowledge those of you that have sent us something for our little guy.I am so blessed to have you all in my life, you guys may not realize it but you all mean so much to me.I look forward to reading your posts even if I don't always comment please know that if I am following you ,I am reading your posts.I always check my blog for new comments from all of you and am thankful to those of you that take the time to comment and or share some kind encouraging words.

Before I thank everyone I want to say that I will not be using last names for privacy reasons.I know that there may be more of you that sent or will be sending something that I have not received yet please do not think I have forgotten or am excluding you.I will be acknowledging everyone and will be doing show n tell with pics for everything that arrives! After all this is my baby shower with all of you and I want to have you all experience it with me.I do want to take a minute to say that the the offer of hand me downs I have received mean so much to me and DH.We consider that just as much a gift as a anything off our registry.We know personally that times are tough and appreciate anything anyone wants to bless us with!

I want to thank Tammy for the very soft and sweet blanket that she made and sent for our little guy it is just precious and like she said it says "miracle baby" on it which she said was perfect and I agree!

Thank you Michelle for the 3 pack of printed bottles they will be so handy,much needed and are so perfect!

Thank you Gretchen for the awesome crib dust ruffle,crib sheet and fleece blanket that will now complete our adorable crib set!(those were the items that we were missing)

Thank you Michell for the 3 very cute outfits for our little one and the sweet blankie!

And last but not least I want to thank Rebecca for the 3 pack of bottles,again much needed and the adorable 4 pack of safari receiving blankets which are perfect and very cute!

Latest News.....

Yes I offically changed our blog name, I wanted it to reflect where we are in our journey, I hope that it hasn't confused anyone.

I had a u/s to check cervical length today and the tech said everything looked fine,they were checking it due to all of my braxton hicks and cramps/possible contactions I have had.

I will be announcing our little "nanners" real name on my next post!!!

We are officially 28 weeks pregnant, if you would have asked me back when I had the bleeding episode/threatened mc/hematoma diagnosis if I thought we were gonna make it this far I probably would have said "no" but here were are!!!

I will post a 28 week belly pic in my next post.

I also would like to do a reader round up to see who is following my blog that I haven't had the pleasure to "meet" yet.So get ready all you lurkers as I will be inviting you out in my next post :-)

Very sweet Tammy and Kami and an online baby shower for me

I cannot believe the kindness and loving hearts these 2 women possess and I wanted to share with you all what they are up to in case you are not followers of their blogs.Tammy approached me to ask if she could throw me an online baby shower because of how Bryan's family has been treating us and other other sad things that have happened surrounding my baby shower.If you missed those posts they are the 2-3 previous ones on my blog.I am going to include a link to each of their blogs so you all can see what they are up to and because Tammy recommended that I share with my readers what they are doing.To say that I am overwhelmed by their kindness is an understatement. I am truly touched more than words could possibly convey that they wanted to do this for me.I have said this before and I will say it again "I sure wish I had more people locally in my life that had the hearts that my fellow bloggers do" You blogger girls are wonderful and I am truly blessed to have all of you in my life!! ((HUGS))

Tammy's blog

http://twondra.blogspot.com/2009/09/online-baby-shower.html

Kami's blog

http://themurphy4.blogspot.com/2009/09/online-baby-shower.html

Latest news-

We are at the 3 month mark before our due date that our OB warned us to be ready by,she said due to the hematoma and my endometriois that we should have our ducks in a row by the the middle of September in case he comes early.I am happy to say that he is still staying put for now and I hope it stays that way until it's time for him to come.It seems that most hematoma patients deliver at 26-30 weeks.Some make it to 32-34 and a few all the way to their due date.We are officially 27 weeks now and I hope we make it at least until 30 or so.(the good news is we made it to and passed viability 24 weeks,and everyday and week that passes he gets stronger and stronger)

We toured our birthing facility and the people we very nice, we were already pre-registered from a scare we had a couple months ago.

I took my glucose test and that stuff is so sickening sweet and thicker (I had orange) that I thought for sure I was going to puke it back up, I was able to keep it down but had an upset tummy for most of the day.I then had my blood drawn after an hour and will most likely find out the results at my appointment on this Thursday the 24th.

I now feel him kicking a squirming on my sides, it's kind of weird how he can be so far over.He has his active times and less active times but I feel him everyday!

And I will be including a 26 week belly shot, there is no mistaking that I am pregnant at all.I am starting to feel huge and it's hard to find positions to sleep in and relax in.

Our shower,new pics and lots of braxton hicks!

These are pics of me on the day of the shower,they are my 24 week belly shot pics.
So let's start with the shower they did it, they boycotted it.It was very hard on me an DH and we even both cried a bit out of stress and hurt before we left to attend the shower.Partially because we didn't know what we were walking into and partially out of the hurt and stress.In the end the only 2 from his family that we knew were going to show actually did(great grandmother and his great aunt).The rest never showed,never RSVP'd,or called us ,no cards or presents were mailed or acknowledgement of the first baby for DH and his side at all.Very cold people.So in the end out of 36 people invited 8 showed up.We had a small amount of hope that there would have been a few that changed their mind and realized that his issues with his mother were not their issues and they shouldn't get involved.My mom,sister,his great aunt,great grandma and a few of my friends were who attended.I have to say we looked a little silly getting a large facility for such a small showing.But we never anticipated that they all wouldn't show when we first arranged for the use of the facility.We were a bit sad by the turnout as this was such a big day for us.I have attended so many baby showers and was just looking forward to my turn at being the one the shower was thrown for.I guess when you wait for something for 10 years you just have a certain way in your mind that it will go when it actually happens.My best friend did do a wonderful job throwing the shower the food was great and the games were fun.She did end up with way too much food as she planned for more too.We did get some nice gifts we got mostly clothes which included the following,2 onesies,6 sleepers,2 winter outfits,1 summer outfit (larger size for later),a pack of diapers,package of wipes, pacifiers,baby spoons,2 blankets,bottle of baby wash,socks/booties,rattle and a booster seat travel high combo.All of it was stuff we needed.We still have a lot we need, I am now wishing I had done more yard saling and bought more along the way but everyone told me not to because I would get way more than I needed at my shower.I guess that is true for some couples but when more then half of your guest list doesn't show I guess it changes things a bit.I hope his mom is happy as usual she won she managed to take a special day and bring pain to it.She did the same thing when we got engaged,when we got married, thanksgiving,Christmas,my birthday and now my one and only baby shower.I have no idea what will happen with all of them but for now dh is adamant that we are done with all of them.I can't say I very heartbroken about this as she has already hurt me so much I am not very sad to see her go.On a even sadder note I learned that one of my good college friends did not show up to my shower because she was deceased.I found out 4 days after the shower when my best friend called to say she had gotten back my college friend Tatiana's invite and that it had deceased written on it.I was in disbelief and denial.I was like yeah I know she was supposed to move and maybe the person at her old address did it because they were sick of getting her mail.My best friend was like I don't know it's just what it says.So we ended our conversation and I went to go look up our local newspaper online.I typed in her name and to my shock and horror there she was.She had been in a car accident and killed 9 months ago.I had no idea I just figured we had lost touch granted it was the longest we had gone without checking in with each other since we met.But we both were busy she had plans for moving to a different place,she had a 5 year old daughter and was single mother to her, I got married,had a honeymoon,she was in school and working full time.Then we started TTC and got matched with embies,had a failed cycle, got pregnant,had a threatened miscarriage and well here we are.It as been just over a year since we spoke last,little did I now that she was dead for 9 months of it.As soon as I saw the article I burst into tears.I couldn't believe what I was seeing.How did I let us lose touch?It occurred to me that the same month she died we were blessed with being matched with embies, it was December.You always think you have tomorrow and that you will catch up later,but what if tomorrow never comes?
I met her in my math class in 2005 at our local business college.She was originally from Ecuador and and moved to Georgia in 2001 and became a citizen.She worked for a office furniture manufacturer and worked her way up from working on the lines to working in the plant offices.She was transferred to here from Georgia in 2004 and her employer sent her and some other fellow workers to school.That is where and when I met her.She taught herself english and she spoke it well, she had a strong accent but I came to love that about her.It wasn't so strong that you couldn't understand her but it always reminded me that she had built herself up from the bottom and wouldn't let her differences stop her.Before our lives got so busy we used to go to movies,out to eat, she helped me work on my spanish,she took me to a latin festival,she took me dancing at a latin dance club (that was so fun!),shot pool,went dancing at other dance clubs and just plain hung out.She loved buffalo wild wings,in particular the mozzarella sticks from there.She also loved to dance!She exposed me to culture that I may have never experienced to that magnitude if I had never met her.She was the most outgoing,fun loving,optimistic person I knew.She always had a huge beautiful smile on her face.And she was full of laughter.I will miss her so much. I was so looking forward to catching up with her at the shower she would have been so genuinely happy and excited for me.I wish I had known sooner about her death but we do not get the paper,don't watch much TV and her and I had no mutual friends since her only friends were a few she made at work.She had no family here they are mostly in Ecuador and she had a sister in Georgia.I had to do my own sleuthing if I wanted closure as I kept telling dh that I was unable to process her death.It may have happened 9 months ago but it was like it happened yesterday for me.I had no closure ,no memorial service to attend and no burial site to visit.To the best of my internet sleuthing her death certificate was issued in Georgia so I assume that is where she is buried.I did manage to find the father of her daughter who is in Georgia as I remembered his name and found him on a networking site.He replied to my email saying that their daughter is doing well,with the help of God and that she is with him.He also sent his phone number saying I can call anytime and he fill me in on all the questions I have surrounding her death, like her final resting spot, what exactly happened and a way to contact her family to let them know how much she meant to me along with my sympathies.It was great to see pics of her beautiful little girl again which he had on his site.I will be including a link to the newspaper article about her death if anyone would like to know the details.The one detail that I learned outside of the paper from a another that worked with her was that before her accident she had just dropped off her 5 year old daughter at school and was on her way to work.She was only 1-2 miles from her home when it happened.She was only 36 years old at the time of the crash.We also drove to where her accident happened and her last residence as I needed to see for myself.I am planning on making her a roadside marker.


http://www.mlive.com/news/muskegon/index.ssf/2008/12/car_crash_victim_a_native_of_e.html

God rest your wonderful soul and I will miss you greatly Tatiana!







The last thing I want to post about was all of these braxton hicks contractions I have been having they have been painful not painless like most of books describe.I had 4 only 6-10 minutes apart this weekend.They were all inside of an hour.I had more with less frequency throughout the rest of the night.I wasn't even doing anything strenuous, I was simply laying on the couch watching TV and getting the house ready to shut it down for the night.Poor dh was getting very freaked out as they were quite painful and he could feel how tight my uterus was. I have read that they can lead to real labor which makes me very nervous.I have had regular stronger cramping too.The hematoma and endometriosis put me at risk of premature labor so I do not know what to make of all this.We are praying that this little guy stays put until it's time for him to come in december.I plan to ask my doctor about all this when we go on september 24th.I will keep you all posted and if anyone has experienced something similar please free to share it will me.