Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Goodies arrrived in the mail!!

I cannot tell you how much fun it has been to get goodies in the mail from you wonderful girls! Your kindness and generousity it greatly appreciated.I want to take a minute to thank those of you that have participated in my online baby shower given by Tammy and Kami.I copied and pasted the links to their blogs from my previous post.(someday maybe someone can teach me how to put a link in under the persons name etc cause mine are always the none functional copy and past ones)lol

Tammy's blog

Kami's blog

It has been so exciting to have a package arrive in the mail for the last few days.I get so giddy and excited that I barely get inside the house before I am trying to open it.DH has gotten a big kick out of it and says he loves seeing me so happy and smiling.I am always telling "nanner" that it looks like he's got a present when I see that a package has arrived.I want to acknowledge those of you that have sent us something for our little guy.I am so blessed to have you all in my life, you guys may not realize it but you all mean so much to me.I look forward to reading your posts even if I don't always comment please know that if I am following you ,I am reading your posts.I always check my blog for new comments from all of you and am thankful to those of you that take the time to comment and or share some kind encouraging words.

Before I thank everyone I want to say that I will not be using last names for privacy reasons.I know that there may be more of you that sent or will be sending something that I have not received yet please do not think I have forgotten or am excluding you.I will be acknowledging everyone and will be doing show n tell with pics for everything that arrives! After all this is my baby shower with all of you and I want to have you all experience it with me.I do want to take a minute to say that the the offer of hand me downs I have received mean so much to me and DH.We consider that just as much a gift as a anything off our registry.We know personally that times are tough and appreciate anything anyone wants to bless us with!

I want to thank Tammy for the very soft and sweet blanket that she made and sent for our little guy it is just precious and like she said it says "miracle baby" on it which she said was perfect and I agree!

Thank you Michelle for the 3 pack of printed bottles they will be so handy,much needed and are so perfect!

Thank you Gretchen for the awesome crib dust ruffle,crib sheet and fleece blanket that will now complete our adorable crib set!(those were the items that we were missing)

Thank you Michell for the 3 very cute outfits for our little one and the sweet blankie!

And last but not least I want to thank Rebecca for the 3 pack of bottles,again much needed and the adorable 4 pack of safari receiving blankets which are perfect and very cute!

Latest News.....

Yes I offically changed our blog name, I wanted it to reflect where we are in our journey, I hope that it hasn't confused anyone.

I had a u/s to check cervical length today and the tech said everything looked fine,they were checking it due to all of my braxton hicks and cramps/possible contactions I have had.

I will be announcing our little "nanners" real name on my next post!!!

We are officially 28 weeks pregnant, if you would have asked me back when I had the bleeding episode/threatened mc/hematoma diagnosis if I thought we were gonna make it this far I probably would have said "no" but here were are!!!

I will post a 28 week belly pic in my next post.

I also would like to do a reader round up to see who is following my blog that I haven't had the pleasure to "meet" yet.So get ready all you lurkers as I will be inviting you out in my next post :-)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Very sweet Tammy and Kami and an online baby shower for me

I cannot believe the kindness and loving hearts these 2 women possess and I wanted to share with you all what they are up to in case you are not followers of their blogs.Tammy approached me to ask if she could throw me an online baby shower because of how Bryan's family has been treating us and other other sad things that have happened surrounding my baby shower.If you missed those posts they are the 2-3 previous ones on my blog.I am going to include a link to each of their blogs so you all can see what they are up to and because Tammy recommended that I share with my readers what they are doing.To say that I am overwhelmed by their kindness is an understatement. I am truly touched more than words could possibly convey that they wanted to do this for me.I have said this before and I will say it again "I sure wish I had more people locally in my life that had the hearts that my fellow bloggers do" You blogger girls are wonderful and I am truly blessed to have all of you in my life!! ((HUGS))

Tammy's blog

Kami's blog

Latest news-

We are at the 3 month mark before our due date that our OB warned us to be ready by,she said due to the hematoma and my endometriois that we should have our ducks in a row by the the middle of September in case he comes early.I am happy to say that he is still staying put for now and I hope it stays that way until it's time for him to come.It seems that most hematoma patients deliver at 26-30 weeks.Some make it to 32-34 and a few all the way to their due date.We are officially 27 weeks now and I hope we make it at least until 30 or so.(the good news is we made it to and passed viability 24 weeks,and everyday and week that passes he gets stronger and stronger)

We toured our birthing facility and the people we very nice, we were already pre-registered from a scare we had a couple months ago.

I took my glucose test and that stuff is so sickening sweet and thicker (I had orange) that I thought for sure I was going to puke it back up, I was able to keep it down but had an upset tummy for most of the day.I then had my blood drawn after an hour and will most likely find out the results at my appointment on this Thursday the 24th.

I now feel him kicking a squirming on my sides, it's kind of weird how he can be so far over.He has his active times and less active times but I feel him everyday!

And I will be including a 26 week belly shot, there is no mistaking that I am pregnant at all.I am starting to feel huge and it's hard to find positions to sleep in and relax in.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Our shower,new pics and lots of braxton hicks!

These are pics of me on the day of the shower,they are my 24 week belly shot pics.
So let's start with the shower they did it, they boycotted it.It was very hard on me an DH and we even both cried a bit out of stress and hurt before we left to attend the shower.Partially because we didn't know what we were walking into and partially out of the hurt and stress.In the end the only 2 from his family that we knew were going to show actually did(great grandmother and his great aunt).The rest never showed,never RSVP'd,or called us ,no cards or presents were mailed or acknowledgement of the first baby for DH and his side at all.Very cold people.So in the end out of 36 people invited 8 showed up.We had a small amount of hope that there would have been a few that changed their mind and realized that his issues with his mother were not their issues and they shouldn't get involved.My mom,sister,his great aunt,great grandma and a few of my friends were who attended.I have to say we looked a little silly getting a large facility for such a small showing.But we never anticipated that they all wouldn't show when we first arranged for the use of the facility.We were a bit sad by the turnout as this was such a big day for us.I have attended so many baby showers and was just looking forward to my turn at being the one the shower was thrown for.I guess when you wait for something for 10 years you just have a certain way in your mind that it will go when it actually happens.My best friend did do a wonderful job throwing the shower the food was great and the games were fun.She did end up with way too much food as she planned for more too.We did get some nice gifts we got mostly clothes which included the following,2 onesies,6 sleepers,2 winter outfits,1 summer outfit (larger size for later),a pack of diapers,package of wipes, pacifiers,baby spoons,2 blankets,bottle of baby wash,socks/booties,rattle and a booster seat travel high combo.All of it was stuff we needed.We still have a lot we need, I am now wishing I had done more yard saling and bought more along the way but everyone told me not to because I would get way more than I needed at my shower.I guess that is true for some couples but when more then half of your guest list doesn't show I guess it changes things a bit.I hope his mom is happy as usual she won she managed to take a special day and bring pain to it.She did the same thing when we got engaged,when we got married, thanksgiving,Christmas,my birthday and now my one and only baby shower.I have no idea what will happen with all of them but for now dh is adamant that we are done with all of them.I can't say I very heartbroken about this as she has already hurt me so much I am not very sad to see her go.On a even sadder note I learned that one of my good college friends did not show up to my shower because she was deceased.I found out 4 days after the shower when my best friend called to say she had gotten back my college friend Tatiana's invite and that it had deceased written on it.I was in disbelief and denial.I was like yeah I know she was supposed to move and maybe the person at her old address did it because they were sick of getting her mail.My best friend was like I don't know it's just what it says.So we ended our conversation and I went to go look up our local newspaper online.I typed in her name and to my shock and horror there she was.She had been in a car accident and killed 9 months ago.I had no idea I just figured we had lost touch granted it was the longest we had gone without checking in with each other since we met.But we both were busy she had plans for moving to a different place,she had a 5 year old daughter and was single mother to her, I got married,had a honeymoon,she was in school and working full time.Then we started TTC and got matched with embies,had a failed cycle, got pregnant,had a threatened miscarriage and well here we are.It as been just over a year since we spoke last,little did I now that she was dead for 9 months of it.As soon as I saw the article I burst into tears.I couldn't believe what I was seeing.How did I let us lose touch?It occurred to me that the same month she died we were blessed with being matched with embies, it was December.You always think you have tomorrow and that you will catch up later,but what if tomorrow never comes?
I met her in my math class in 2005 at our local business college.She was originally from Ecuador and and moved to Georgia in 2001 and became a citizen.She worked for a office furniture manufacturer and worked her way up from working on the lines to working in the plant offices.She was transferred to here from Georgia in 2004 and her employer sent her and some other fellow workers to school.That is where and when I met her.She taught herself english and she spoke it well, she had a strong accent but I came to love that about her.It wasn't so strong that you couldn't understand her but it always reminded me that she had built herself up from the bottom and wouldn't let her differences stop her.Before our lives got so busy we used to go to movies,out to eat, she helped me work on my spanish,she took me to a latin festival,she took me dancing at a latin dance club (that was so fun!),shot pool,went dancing at other dance clubs and just plain hung out.She loved buffalo wild wings,in particular the mozzarella sticks from there.She also loved to dance!She exposed me to culture that I may have never experienced to that magnitude if I had never met her.She was the most outgoing,fun loving,optimistic person I knew.She always had a huge beautiful smile on her face.And she was full of laughter.I will miss her so much. I was so looking forward to catching up with her at the shower she would have been so genuinely happy and excited for me.I wish I had known sooner about her death but we do not get the paper,don't watch much TV and her and I had no mutual friends since her only friends were a few she made at work.She had no family here they are mostly in Ecuador and she had a sister in Georgia.I had to do my own sleuthing if I wanted closure as I kept telling dh that I was unable to process her death.It may have happened 9 months ago but it was like it happened yesterday for me.I had no closure ,no memorial service to attend and no burial site to visit.To the best of my internet sleuthing her death certificate was issued in Georgia so I assume that is where she is buried.I did manage to find the father of her daughter who is in Georgia as I remembered his name and found him on a networking site.He replied to my email saying that their daughter is doing well,with the help of God and that she is with him.He also sent his phone number saying I can call anytime and he fill me in on all the questions I have surrounding her death, like her final resting spot, what exactly happened and a way to contact her family to let them know how much she meant to me along with my sympathies.It was great to see pics of her beautiful little girl again which he had on his site.I will be including a link to the newspaper article about her death if anyone would like to know the details.The one detail that I learned outside of the paper from a another that worked with her was that before her accident she had just dropped off her 5 year old daughter at school and was on her way to work.She was only 1-2 miles from her home when it happened.She was only 36 years old at the time of the crash.We also drove to where her accident happened and her last residence as I needed to see for myself.I am planning on making her a roadside marker.

God rest your wonderful soul and I will miss you greatly Tatiana!

The last thing I want to post about was all of these braxton hicks contractions I have been having they have been painful not painless like most of books describe.I had 4 only 6-10 minutes apart this weekend.They were all inside of an hour.I had more with less frequency throughout the rest of the night.I wasn't even doing anything strenuous, I was simply laying on the couch watching TV and getting the house ready to shut it down for the night.Poor dh was getting very freaked out as they were quite painful and he could feel how tight my uterus was. I have read that they can lead to real labor which makes me very nervous.I have had regular stronger cramping too.The hematoma and endometriosis put me at risk of premature labor so I do not know what to make of all this.We are praying that this little guy stays put until it's time for him to come in december.I plan to ask my doctor about all this when we go on september 24th.I will keep you all posted and if anyone has experienced something similar please free to share it will me.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Good news and hurtful news

The good news is I am 24 weeks 1 day pregnant which means my sweet little boy is now viable!! Praise GOD! But also on a different more hurtful note I plan to do something I do not normally do and that is vent about family.I know I have always watched my blogging for fear that someone I know IRL will find and read my blog but I just feel the need to share this with you girls.I will try to keep a long story short but here goes.Ever since I have been seeing DH before he was my DH his mom has not liked me.For no reason at all.You see she decided this before she even met me.All she knew about me is that I was older than him and was divorced with small children.Well that was all she needed to know and she made her mind up which has been impossible to change for 2 years.There are so many hurtful ways that she lashes out at me that I would never be able to list them but they are numerous and are always done in a passive aggressive manner.I will give you just a few of the several examples.When DH and I were still just boyfriend girlfriend (exclusive and serious) she tried to fix him up with someone else while his dad gave him the "play the field speech".To say that was hurtful is an understatement.Before I continue I must state that they proclaim to be "christians, avid, active christians" I am not saying they aren't but I do know that their actions do not reflect that to me.She has sent her brother (his uncle) in the past to have a talk with and try to talk him out of being with me.She invited bryan to the holidays x-mas and thanksgiving but excluded me and my boys the year we were engaged.She refused to let his younger siblings participate in our wedding they are several years younger than DH ,11 and 13.I told her that I hand decorated 2 champagne flutes for her and her husband at our wedding reception and that they were theirs to keep after the reception. Not only did they not use the flutes but they left them for trash on the table after they left.In the receiving line after the ceremony she stuck her hand out to shake mine instead of hugging me.I of course made her hug me.At x-mas this past year after we were married she gave everyone elaborate gifts but gave me a used book that she had owned herself for quite awhile.Dh looked at it and was like she has had this for a while I have seen it in her room etc. Not to mention it had water rings and warped pages from her drinking while reading.I am not saying that x-mas is about gifts but it certainly is not about trying to show someone that don't like them by obviously giving them a very used present that was nothing like she gave anyone else.Just to give you and idea of what she bought others,all the guys got Dewalt angle grinders (pricey)and the woman got beautiful tops with sweaters and jewelry sets from a macy like department store The store is younkers but I didn't think you all would know what that was.So as all my friends and family said it was another way of her hurting me and letting me know just how little she likes me.I have tried to talk to her which got me no where she not only has never apologized but has acted like she has done nothing wrong.I broke down crying to her last December telling her how much she has hurt me and that I want her to like me but all she said stone cold faced back to me was "I don't know you". She has never tried to get to know me either. I asked her to go shopping and scrapbook but she never took me up on it. The list is so long of things she has done to hurt me that I could not possibly blog about them all as it would take days.So now I will tell you about the latest hurtful thing she has done.First of all I have to say that DH and her have not been speaking since January due to more of her stunts.Well she has convinced everyone on his side to boycott my shower on Saturday even though DH did invite her too, which I made him as I thought it would help mend fences.But every time I try to do something nice it backfires on me.DH has had no issues with any other relatives so this was an extremely hurtful blow to us.So we have this large building for the only shower I will ever have and now it seems silly to have it as there are only 7 people attending on my side.(my family is very small)So I know this may seem wrong but I am crushed that my only shower I will ever get will be so tiny and hurtful.I have waited 10 years to have my "own" shower.So now she has struck yet again.Dh has decided that enough is enough and said that if they do not come they are out of his life for good.We found out by asking his grandma and she told us no one is coming and that his mom was why.They felt they had to side with her as she is family.He said what about this part of your family and she was silent.Of course they stated that they still wanted to be a part of the baby's life to which he answered "if you did you would be going to the shower". He also said "if you guys have decided that you don't want to participate in the shower than do not expect any more calls related to our baby and family again. (it is important to note that they do not know how this baby was conceived,so that has nothing to do with it and shouldn't matter anyways)What is hurtful about this is these are people that I got along with, the more distant relatives, or least they were nice to my face.But his mom is usually nice to my face too so I guess that is no indicator.All I know is I liked many of them and enjoyed being around them on the few family functions that I was able to.(we have only been married a year)I know that is will sound petty but financially it will hurt us too as we were anticipating that several of our basic baby needs would be met by the shower.At least that is what everyone kept telling us.Before I close this post I must say that we were asked when were having a shower and prompted to include everyone (including his mother), by one of HIS family members.Which we did and it has seemed to backfire on us.We were trying to do the right thing and it has been used to hurt us on a very special day. All I can say is I hurt inside even I should probably blow it off I just can't seem to.I found out 2 days ago and have cried on a few occasions about it.On top of everything no one in his family RSVP'D to let my friend know (she is throwing it)that 15 people,seriously 15 people will not be coming.Not one called.Which I think is very very rude.She had purchased food,flatware etc for several more than she will need. I feel bad that she wasted her money.I am gonna go for now girls and i hope that i do not rub anyone the wrong way with this post.I will be posting a 24 week belly shot soon.Until then hugs to you all...

My snowflake items

My snowflake items
DH got me these after we officially accepted our set of snowflake babies