Sunday, December 20, 2009

Mason Matthew has arrived!!

I am so very tired but will share a few details and pics with all of you. Mason Matthew arrived Tuesday December 15th at 2:25 AM. He was 6 pounds 7 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long.He is so little that newborn size clothes are still too big on him and 0-3months clothes are huge. He is so beautiful!! We were discharged on Thursday the 17th in the afternoon.There is a very long birth story and a few complications that made it so they had to take him away right after birth so my dreams of bonding and breast feeding right after he was born were not possible. The good news is he is now healthy but required extra monitors and testing while we were there. I was so excited to hold my baby boy the day we left as it would be the first time without a IV in his head or monitor leads all over his body. Girls he is just precious and I am so very in love. I will share the details of our birth story and labor which technically started last Saturday the 12th of December. For those of you that remember I was have contractions etc but no one knew that I was not just in early labor but actual labor with failure to progress that also included back labor(ouch!)For now enjoy the pics!! ((hugs and God bless!))

Sunday, December 13, 2009

I was told it could be anytime. plus **UPDATE** on this previously posted post

I had to go in to the birthing center today because I have been having contractions that are making me down right miserable.When I went in they said I was 70% effaced and 1 cm dialated.They had us walk the halls for a half an hour and checked me again. No change, so I was sent home after they gave me somethin to help me sleep which didn't really work since my contractions keep waking me up. My contractions have been anywhere from 4 minutes apart to 15 minutes apart, all I know is about 75% of they are excruiating.This all started over 24 hours ago.I did not know that early labor would be as painful and more painful than my endometriosis.When I was at the birthing center they hooked me to the monitors and confirmed that I was having contractions.They said the baby is doing good. They said the would be shocked if I made it to my induction date on wednesday.I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow morning, if I make it that far.I will post more and update when I know more.

Had my appointment this morning and they are admitting me. My OB thinks that my very tricky /difficult cervix plus my endometriosis is the culprit to why I am having labor pains that are far greater than what I should be having for early labor.I am currently 2+ cm dilated and 90% effaced,so I did change from yesterday but considering I have been in labor since friday evening my doctor thinks that they should go ahead and admit me since I have had no sleep since thursday night due to contractions and that my cervix may be being difficult for the reasons I mentioned earlier. She said that the baby is all the way down and ready but my cervix just isn't cooperating.They want to get me in and medicated so I can get some pain relief and rest for a while. Then they will check me again and see if giving my body some relief will allow it to continue to dilate on it's on if not then they will proceed with induction. I will post when I am able but will not be taking my laptop to the birthing center so it could be a few days.((hugs)) to you all!!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Cannot believe were are almost there!

34 weeks 2 days

37 weeks 1 day

38 weeks 1 day

I don't think I mentioned in my last post that we now have to go in for 2 NST's (non- stress test) a week, and also our OB appointment which is now weekly.These appointments keep us very busy.Our NST's have been going well and so have our appointments except that she just cannot seem to get to my cervix to check it.She was able to feel it a bit last time enough to be able to tell that is was softening.But it was with great difficulty and pain to me.This time was excruciatingly painful and in the end she couldn't quite feel it.So I have no idea if it is changing etc.She said because his head is right there it is rotating my cervix to the back and makes it very very hard to get to.Lets just say I am defiantly not looking forward to my appointment next week. Did anyone experience this problem? One of my friends said that her OB had to dig for hers too and it made her sore for a couple of days afterwards,I am having the same problem.I want to thank everyone who shared their induction stories with me it is greatly appreciated.I think I will probably go ahead with the induction on the 16th, I felt a bit better about it when I found out that they will bring me in on the 15th to place cervidil on my cervix, which should help things along sooner and reduce my chances of a c-section.Of course I am still hoping that he decides to come on his own before then which is only 8 days from now.I can't believe how close it is. We were officially 38 weeks yesterday. I will be including belly shots with this post as I have gotten a bit behind in posting them. We have been taking them just not posting them.Well that is all that is new for right now I hope everyone is doing well.God bless you all!! Oh and on my next post I will be sharing our nursery that is being completed on a very tight budget or should I say no budget :-). I will share some of our money saving ideas and tricks we used.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Well here it is and I am looking for opinions...

I had my appointment today and it went well. My blood pressure was down by 19 points for the top number and 2 for the bottom compared to a week ago. I am back into the realm of normal for me now.Also my weight which has to be a fluke is down my ten pounds from a week ago. My feet look better and my skin is not as tight feeling.The results from my blood work all looked good but the results from my 24 hour urine were mediocre.Apparently normal is 100 or below and preclamptic is 300 or higher. I however was 189 as of thanksgiving day.So that puts me in grey area which also means I am creeping towards preeclampsia.They plan to watch me close.Also they scheduled me for induction on December 16th only 16 days away. It isn't completely necessary at this point but I think they fear it will be with my urine numbers rising. She said they usually do schedule inductions around the holidays when a due date is so close to them. My actual due date is December 21st.I am not sure how I feel about being induced or if I want it to happen that way. The planner in me likes being able to plan for someone to watch our dogs and house and my boys.Also I like knowing he will be here for sure for Christmas and will not have a christmas eve or christmas day birthday that he hates having.I also fear that maybe the longer I wait my chances of getting preeclamptic will rise.The other part of me wants something during this pregnancy to happen naturally. It can be a bit hard when you undergo invitro, suffered IF and MC's to feel like a completely normal pregnant woman.I have heard that being induced is much more painful and tiring on the mom.The doctor told me that we can always cancel the induction so here I sit unable to commit to either side this is where all you girls come in. Please share with me any and all induction knowledge you have even if it isn't you directly, it could be a sister,friends,cousins, an in law or your own experience.Or anything you know or have learned about it.I also welcome your opinions as I need help making this huge decision unless baby boy makes it for me and comes before then which I am hoping he will.I am scared and nervous and don't want to make the wrong decision so feel free to email stories or post them in the comments. My email is on my page sidebar.Hugs to you all and I look forward to your input.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Appointment coming up on monday and latest visit to the birthing center in the middle of the night

So recently I have found myself at the birthing center twice to be monitored.The first time I was having contractions and braxtons all day and of course by the time I could have the boys dad come get them it was 12:30 am and I didn't show any signs of contractions anymore when hooked up to the monitors.That was about 3 weeks ago or so now.They checked my cervix which looked good but my urine did show I was slightly dehydrated.The latest trip was a week ago this time it was because my feet had been swelling so bad for the 3 days prior that I seriously did not recognize them anymore.They looked broken they were so puffy and round.When DH called the birthing center and asked them about my symptoms etc they asked him several questions to ask me and then asked me to come in and be seen. So that was another trip in the middle of the night. While I was there they noted the swelling and said I had the beginnings of pitting starting on part of my feet.(it is where you push on the skin and it doesn't bounce back right away)They also hooked me to the monitors and said baby boy looked really good.My urine came back and they said I was VERY dehydrated and that I also have some protein in my urine.My blood pressure has risen again but is not preeclamptic yet.They released me with instructions to call my doctor and to drink plenty of fluids which honestly I have been trying to do all along. Part of the problem I think is I just can't drink as much as they would like me to due to my horrible acid reflux even water burns and shoots back up my throat filling my mouth which in turn I have to spit out as it tastes like acid.Or it just causes me to throw up, I never know which will happen.When I talked to my doctors office this week they said they were concerned by my rise in blood pressure while it is not overly high for most people it is for me. I have always had very low blood pressure.They also were concerned about the water retention,protein in my urine and dehydration.They then ordered me a full blood work up, urine analysis and a 24 hour urine analysis.The nurse said I am creeping towards preeclampsia.I had the labs done and then did the 24 hour urine which I turned in on thanksgiving. I have an appointment on monday for my 37 week appointment and to review my labs.I will update everyone as so as I find out what my doctor has to say about it all.Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Only 23 days to go girls if I make it that long, where has the time gone? ((HUGS)) and God bless!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Things I didn't know before I was pregnant...

I didn't know that getting dressed and putting on socks and shoes would become such a chore.

I didn't know that the small things would cause me to become winded and out of breath.

I didn't know that I would have mysterious pains that even when asked medical professionals would not be able to explain.

I didn't know that finding a comfortable position to sleep in would be next to impossible.

I didn't know that I would be up every 2-3 hours to pee every night for the entire pregnancy and that I would learn to go on auto pilot to make it to the bathroom in the dark.

I didn't know that using the bathroom and wiping afterwards would be so difficult.

I didn't know that getting up from any laying or sitting position would become such a huge production.

I didn't know that I would find that picking things up off the floor would be so uncomfortable and painful that in many cases I will just leave it instead of picking it up.

I didn't know that I would have acid reflux so bad that I feel as though a jalapeno is sitting in the back of my throat for hours.

I didn't know it was possible to aspirate in your sleep and that it was so scary.

I didn't know that I would come to know a new kind of laziness and complete exhaustion.

But on the flip side of what I didn't know........

I didn't know that I would love someone so much that I have yet to meet.

I didn't know that I would embrace all of the misery just to be able to see your precious face and hold you.

I didn't know that all it would take is a few kicks from you and I would forget my discomforts for a while.

I didn't know that I would enjoy talking to someone so much that can't answer me back.

I didn't know that seeing your older brothers being so excited for your arrival and them already thinking of you and your needs would touch my heart so much and make me so proud of the wonderful boys they are becoming.

I didn't know that your daddy would be as excited as me for your arrival and enjoy looking at and picking things out for you with a huge grin on his face.

I didn't know that no matter where I am or what I am doing I would never feel alone while you are in my belly.

I didn't know that hearing your heartbeat would be such sweet music that I can't get enough of.

I didn't know that seeing you on ultrasound would be so incredibly beautiful.

I didn't know that I would come to fall in love with your daddy even more as we prepare and wait for your arrival.He has become so attentive and patient to my needs while I am pregnant with you.

I didn't know that being pregnant with you would go by so very fast.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Lots of news!! Name annoucement, U/S update and calling out all lurkers :-)

Well where to begin.First I want to thank April and Michele for the goodies they sent in the mail.That was so sweet of them and I want to thank them for participating in my online baby shower that Tammy and Kami started.Here are the links to Tammy and Kami's blogs just copy and paste.( I just want to acknowledge that they are the reason for all of these blessings we have received, and of course all of you fellow kind hearted bloggers!)

Tammy's blog

Kami's blog

Michelle sent us a very much needed package of newborn diapers and the adorable moo sounds milk and cookies toy we registered for! I just know our baby will love playing with that.

April sent us a wonderful two pack of avent bottles, soothie pacifiers and a very cute soothie holder.She also included a note card with some very kind thoughts and words of encouragement.

Thank you both! You have no idea how much it means to us!!

Next I would like to ask all of my blog lurkers to come out and introduce yourself and maybe follow officially so I can get to know you and your story as well!! I am very excited to get a chance "meet" you all.

We completed our birthing classes this weekend which we both enjoyed and found to be informative.We chose to do the condensed weekend version as we never know when our little baby will decide to come.And my boys were with their dad so we would not need to find a sitter for several different days.We had a couple of long days but it was helpful.Saturday alone we attended for 7 hours straight with a break for lunch.And on Sunday we attended for 3 hours.But we now have our certificate of completion and are done and getting ready for our little miracle!

We are currently 31 weeks pregnant but here is our 29 week belly pic.DH is going to take another one tonight or tomorrow.(our official due date got moved up sooner by two days and I forgot to change my ticker until today oops!)Anyway that puts our due date 2 days closer than before wow, which they reconfirmed when they called today!

We had our OB appointment last Thursday and it went well. I am up 21 pounds (yowser!) but I am told that it is well within the normal range for where I am at in my pregnancy.Still umm yikes! We were then scheduled for a full U/S on the next day to check for fetal growth.I got the results today and they said he is doing great, yes he still has boy parts (lol), I have had them check at 3 different U/S's to avoid a surprise later :-).They said his organs look good and everything looks normal.He is now about 3.4 pounds and is in the 50% group for fetus's at his age of development.So he is officially average.Which we are definitely happy about.They also checked my cervical length again and it was good.The tech had a new tech helping her so they took lots of time to look him over and held the wand right over him on my belly without moving it for a bit and we all could see his little eyes looking around.We saw him blink and watched his actual eyeball rotate and shift from side to side as if we was trying to figure out what was going on out there and what were we all doing.It was really cool.And before that we saw him suckling it was adorable.I am so in love with this little guy!! Unfortunately we were unable to get any pics that were very good due to how he was laying with the placenta.Here are a few 1 is a face pic ,another is of both feet which are conveniently located under my ribs lol and the another is a side profile of his foot.He is currently head down pressing right against my cervix with his feet up and under my left ribs and his little bottom is on my right side.Basically he is in a "L" shape.He is very spread out and comfy I guess :-)

Now as I promised I will reveal our baby "nanners" real name (first and middle)....Can I have the envelope please? And the winner is.... Mason Matthew!!!
So there you have it our little miracle has a name besides his nick name but we still use both when we refer to him.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Goodies arrrived in the mail!!

I cannot tell you how much fun it has been to get goodies in the mail from you wonderful girls! Your kindness and generousity it greatly appreciated.I want to take a minute to thank those of you that have participated in my online baby shower given by Tammy and Kami.I copied and pasted the links to their blogs from my previous post.(someday maybe someone can teach me how to put a link in under the persons name etc cause mine are always the none functional copy and past ones)lol

Tammy's blog

Kami's blog

It has been so exciting to have a package arrive in the mail for the last few days.I get so giddy and excited that I barely get inside the house before I am trying to open it.DH has gotten a big kick out of it and says he loves seeing me so happy and smiling.I am always telling "nanner" that it looks like he's got a present when I see that a package has arrived.I want to acknowledge those of you that have sent us something for our little guy.I am so blessed to have you all in my life, you guys may not realize it but you all mean so much to me.I look forward to reading your posts even if I don't always comment please know that if I am following you ,I am reading your posts.I always check my blog for new comments from all of you and am thankful to those of you that take the time to comment and or share some kind encouraging words.

Before I thank everyone I want to say that I will not be using last names for privacy reasons.I know that there may be more of you that sent or will be sending something that I have not received yet please do not think I have forgotten or am excluding you.I will be acknowledging everyone and will be doing show n tell with pics for everything that arrives! After all this is my baby shower with all of you and I want to have you all experience it with me.I do want to take a minute to say that the the offer of hand me downs I have received mean so much to me and DH.We consider that just as much a gift as a anything off our registry.We know personally that times are tough and appreciate anything anyone wants to bless us with!

I want to thank Tammy for the very soft and sweet blanket that she made and sent for our little guy it is just precious and like she said it says "miracle baby" on it which she said was perfect and I agree!

Thank you Michelle for the 3 pack of printed bottles they will be so handy,much needed and are so perfect!

Thank you Gretchen for the awesome crib dust ruffle,crib sheet and fleece blanket that will now complete our adorable crib set!(those were the items that we were missing)

Thank you Michell for the 3 very cute outfits for our little one and the sweet blankie!

And last but not least I want to thank Rebecca for the 3 pack of bottles,again much needed and the adorable 4 pack of safari receiving blankets which are perfect and very cute!

Latest News.....

Yes I offically changed our blog name, I wanted it to reflect where we are in our journey, I hope that it hasn't confused anyone.

I had a u/s to check cervical length today and the tech said everything looked fine,they were checking it due to all of my braxton hicks and cramps/possible contactions I have had.

I will be announcing our little "nanners" real name on my next post!!!

We are officially 28 weeks pregnant, if you would have asked me back when I had the bleeding episode/threatened mc/hematoma diagnosis if I thought we were gonna make it this far I probably would have said "no" but here were are!!!

I will post a 28 week belly pic in my next post.

I also would like to do a reader round up to see who is following my blog that I haven't had the pleasure to "meet" yet.So get ready all you lurkers as I will be inviting you out in my next post :-)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Very sweet Tammy and Kami and an online baby shower for me

I cannot believe the kindness and loving hearts these 2 women possess and I wanted to share with you all what they are up to in case you are not followers of their blogs.Tammy approached me to ask if she could throw me an online baby shower because of how Bryan's family has been treating us and other other sad things that have happened surrounding my baby shower.If you missed those posts they are the 2-3 previous ones on my blog.I am going to include a link to each of their blogs so you all can see what they are up to and because Tammy recommended that I share with my readers what they are doing.To say that I am overwhelmed by their kindness is an understatement. I am truly touched more than words could possibly convey that they wanted to do this for me.I have said this before and I will say it again "I sure wish I had more people locally in my life that had the hearts that my fellow bloggers do" You blogger girls are wonderful and I am truly blessed to have all of you in my life!! ((HUGS))

Tammy's blog

Kami's blog

Latest news-

We are at the 3 month mark before our due date that our OB warned us to be ready by,she said due to the hematoma and my endometriois that we should have our ducks in a row by the the middle of September in case he comes early.I am happy to say that he is still staying put for now and I hope it stays that way until it's time for him to come.It seems that most hematoma patients deliver at 26-30 weeks.Some make it to 32-34 and a few all the way to their due date.We are officially 27 weeks now and I hope we make it at least until 30 or so.(the good news is we made it to and passed viability 24 weeks,and everyday and week that passes he gets stronger and stronger)

We toured our birthing facility and the people we very nice, we were already pre-registered from a scare we had a couple months ago.

I took my glucose test and that stuff is so sickening sweet and thicker (I had orange) that I thought for sure I was going to puke it back up, I was able to keep it down but had an upset tummy for most of the day.I then had my blood drawn after an hour and will most likely find out the results at my appointment on this Thursday the 24th.

I now feel him kicking a squirming on my sides, it's kind of weird how he can be so far over.He has his active times and less active times but I feel him everyday!

And I will be including a 26 week belly shot, there is no mistaking that I am pregnant at all.I am starting to feel huge and it's hard to find positions to sleep in and relax in.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Our shower,new pics and lots of braxton hicks!

These are pics of me on the day of the shower,they are my 24 week belly shot pics.
So let's start with the shower they did it, they boycotted it.It was very hard on me an DH and we even both cried a bit out of stress and hurt before we left to attend the shower.Partially because we didn't know what we were walking into and partially out of the hurt and stress.In the end the only 2 from his family that we knew were going to show actually did(great grandmother and his great aunt).The rest never showed,never RSVP'd,or called us ,no cards or presents were mailed or acknowledgement of the first baby for DH and his side at all.Very cold people.So in the end out of 36 people invited 8 showed up.We had a small amount of hope that there would have been a few that changed their mind and realized that his issues with his mother were not their issues and they shouldn't get involved.My mom,sister,his great aunt,great grandma and a few of my friends were who attended.I have to say we looked a little silly getting a large facility for such a small showing.But we never anticipated that they all wouldn't show when we first arranged for the use of the facility.We were a bit sad by the turnout as this was such a big day for us.I have attended so many baby showers and was just looking forward to my turn at being the one the shower was thrown for.I guess when you wait for something for 10 years you just have a certain way in your mind that it will go when it actually happens.My best friend did do a wonderful job throwing the shower the food was great and the games were fun.She did end up with way too much food as she planned for more too.We did get some nice gifts we got mostly clothes which included the following,2 onesies,6 sleepers,2 winter outfits,1 summer outfit (larger size for later),a pack of diapers,package of wipes, pacifiers,baby spoons,2 blankets,bottle of baby wash,socks/booties,rattle and a booster seat travel high combo.All of it was stuff we needed.We still have a lot we need, I am now wishing I had done more yard saling and bought more along the way but everyone told me not to because I would get way more than I needed at my shower.I guess that is true for some couples but when more then half of your guest list doesn't show I guess it changes things a bit.I hope his mom is happy as usual she won she managed to take a special day and bring pain to it.She did the same thing when we got engaged,when we got married, thanksgiving,Christmas,my birthday and now my one and only baby shower.I have no idea what will happen with all of them but for now dh is adamant that we are done with all of them.I can't say I very heartbroken about this as she has already hurt me so much I am not very sad to see her go.On a even sadder note I learned that one of my good college friends did not show up to my shower because she was deceased.I found out 4 days after the shower when my best friend called to say she had gotten back my college friend Tatiana's invite and that it had deceased written on it.I was in disbelief and denial.I was like yeah I know she was supposed to move and maybe the person at her old address did it because they were sick of getting her mail.My best friend was like I don't know it's just what it says.So we ended our conversation and I went to go look up our local newspaper online.I typed in her name and to my shock and horror there she was.She had been in a car accident and killed 9 months ago.I had no idea I just figured we had lost touch granted it was the longest we had gone without checking in with each other since we met.But we both were busy she had plans for moving to a different place,she had a 5 year old daughter and was single mother to her, I got married,had a honeymoon,she was in school and working full time.Then we started TTC and got matched with embies,had a failed cycle, got pregnant,had a threatened miscarriage and well here we are.It as been just over a year since we spoke last,little did I now that she was dead for 9 months of it.As soon as I saw the article I burst into tears.I couldn't believe what I was seeing.How did I let us lose touch?It occurred to me that the same month she died we were blessed with being matched with embies, it was December.You always think you have tomorrow and that you will catch up later,but what if tomorrow never comes?
I met her in my math class in 2005 at our local business college.She was originally from Ecuador and and moved to Georgia in 2001 and became a citizen.She worked for a office furniture manufacturer and worked her way up from working on the lines to working in the plant offices.She was transferred to here from Georgia in 2004 and her employer sent her and some other fellow workers to school.That is where and when I met her.She taught herself english and she spoke it well, she had a strong accent but I came to love that about her.It wasn't so strong that you couldn't understand her but it always reminded me that she had built herself up from the bottom and wouldn't let her differences stop her.Before our lives got so busy we used to go to movies,out to eat, she helped me work on my spanish,she took me to a latin festival,she took me dancing at a latin dance club (that was so fun!),shot pool,went dancing at other dance clubs and just plain hung out.She loved buffalo wild wings,in particular the mozzarella sticks from there.She also loved to dance!She exposed me to culture that I may have never experienced to that magnitude if I had never met her.She was the most outgoing,fun loving,optimistic person I knew.She always had a huge beautiful smile on her face.And she was full of laughter.I will miss her so much. I was so looking forward to catching up with her at the shower she would have been so genuinely happy and excited for me.I wish I had known sooner about her death but we do not get the paper,don't watch much TV and her and I had no mutual friends since her only friends were a few she made at work.She had no family here they are mostly in Ecuador and she had a sister in Georgia.I had to do my own sleuthing if I wanted closure as I kept telling dh that I was unable to process her death.It may have happened 9 months ago but it was like it happened yesterday for me.I had no closure ,no memorial service to attend and no burial site to visit.To the best of my internet sleuthing her death certificate was issued in Georgia so I assume that is where she is buried.I did manage to find the father of her daughter who is in Georgia as I remembered his name and found him on a networking site.He replied to my email saying that their daughter is doing well,with the help of God and that she is with him.He also sent his phone number saying I can call anytime and he fill me in on all the questions I have surrounding her death, like her final resting spot, what exactly happened and a way to contact her family to let them know how much she meant to me along with my sympathies.It was great to see pics of her beautiful little girl again which he had on his site.I will be including a link to the newspaper article about her death if anyone would like to know the details.The one detail that I learned outside of the paper from a another that worked with her was that before her accident she had just dropped off her 5 year old daughter at school and was on her way to work.She was only 1-2 miles from her home when it happened.She was only 36 years old at the time of the crash.We also drove to where her accident happened and her last residence as I needed to see for myself.I am planning on making her a roadside marker.

God rest your wonderful soul and I will miss you greatly Tatiana!

The last thing I want to post about was all of these braxton hicks contractions I have been having they have been painful not painless like most of books describe.I had 4 only 6-10 minutes apart this weekend.They were all inside of an hour.I had more with less frequency throughout the rest of the night.I wasn't even doing anything strenuous, I was simply laying on the couch watching TV and getting the house ready to shut it down for the night.Poor dh was getting very freaked out as they were quite painful and he could feel how tight my uterus was. I have read that they can lead to real labor which makes me very nervous.I have had regular stronger cramping too.The hematoma and endometriosis put me at risk of premature labor so I do not know what to make of all this.We are praying that this little guy stays put until it's time for him to come in december.I plan to ask my doctor about all this when we go on september 24th.I will keep you all posted and if anyone has experienced something similar please free to share it will me.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Good news and hurtful news

The good news is I am 24 weeks 1 day pregnant which means my sweet little boy is now viable!! Praise GOD! But also on a different more hurtful note I plan to do something I do not normally do and that is vent about family.I know I have always watched my blogging for fear that someone I know IRL will find and read my blog but I just feel the need to share this with you girls.I will try to keep a long story short but here goes.Ever since I have been seeing DH before he was my DH his mom has not liked me.For no reason at all.You see she decided this before she even met me.All she knew about me is that I was older than him and was divorced with small children.Well that was all she needed to know and she made her mind up which has been impossible to change for 2 years.There are so many hurtful ways that she lashes out at me that I would never be able to list them but they are numerous and are always done in a passive aggressive manner.I will give you just a few of the several examples.When DH and I were still just boyfriend girlfriend (exclusive and serious) she tried to fix him up with someone else while his dad gave him the "play the field speech".To say that was hurtful is an understatement.Before I continue I must state that they proclaim to be "christians, avid, active christians" I am not saying they aren't but I do know that their actions do not reflect that to me.She has sent her brother (his uncle) in the past to have a talk with and try to talk him out of being with me.She invited bryan to the holidays x-mas and thanksgiving but excluded me and my boys the year we were engaged.She refused to let his younger siblings participate in our wedding they are several years younger than DH ,11 and 13.I told her that I hand decorated 2 champagne flutes for her and her husband at our wedding reception and that they were theirs to keep after the reception. Not only did they not use the flutes but they left them for trash on the table after they left.In the receiving line after the ceremony she stuck her hand out to shake mine instead of hugging me.I of course made her hug me.At x-mas this past year after we were married she gave everyone elaborate gifts but gave me a used book that she had owned herself for quite awhile.Dh looked at it and was like she has had this for a while I have seen it in her room etc. Not to mention it had water rings and warped pages from her drinking while reading.I am not saying that x-mas is about gifts but it certainly is not about trying to show someone that don't like them by obviously giving them a very used present that was nothing like she gave anyone else.Just to give you and idea of what she bought others,all the guys got Dewalt angle grinders (pricey)and the woman got beautiful tops with sweaters and jewelry sets from a macy like department store The store is younkers but I didn't think you all would know what that was.So as all my friends and family said it was another way of her hurting me and letting me know just how little she likes me.I have tried to talk to her which got me no where she not only has never apologized but has acted like she has done nothing wrong.I broke down crying to her last December telling her how much she has hurt me and that I want her to like me but all she said stone cold faced back to me was "I don't know you". She has never tried to get to know me either. I asked her to go shopping and scrapbook but she never took me up on it. The list is so long of things she has done to hurt me that I could not possibly blog about them all as it would take days.So now I will tell you about the latest hurtful thing she has done.First of all I have to say that DH and her have not been speaking since January due to more of her stunts.Well she has convinced everyone on his side to boycott my shower on Saturday even though DH did invite her too, which I made him as I thought it would help mend fences.But every time I try to do something nice it backfires on me.DH has had no issues with any other relatives so this was an extremely hurtful blow to us.So we have this large building for the only shower I will ever have and now it seems silly to have it as there are only 7 people attending on my side.(my family is very small)So I know this may seem wrong but I am crushed that my only shower I will ever get will be so tiny and hurtful.I have waited 10 years to have my "own" shower.So now she has struck yet again.Dh has decided that enough is enough and said that if they do not come they are out of his life for good.We found out by asking his grandma and she told us no one is coming and that his mom was why.They felt they had to side with her as she is family.He said what about this part of your family and she was silent.Of course they stated that they still wanted to be a part of the baby's life to which he answered "if you did you would be going to the shower". He also said "if you guys have decided that you don't want to participate in the shower than do not expect any more calls related to our baby and family again. (it is important to note that they do not know how this baby was conceived,so that has nothing to do with it and shouldn't matter anyways)What is hurtful about this is these are people that I got along with, the more distant relatives, or least they were nice to my face.But his mom is usually nice to my face too so I guess that is no indicator.All I know is I liked many of them and enjoyed being around them on the few family functions that I was able to.(we have only been married a year)I know that is will sound petty but financially it will hurt us too as we were anticipating that several of our basic baby needs would be met by the shower.At least that is what everyone kept telling us.Before I close this post I must say that we were asked when were having a shower and prompted to include everyone (including his mother), by one of HIS family members.Which we did and it has seemed to backfire on us.We were trying to do the right thing and it has been used to hurt us on a very special day. All I can say is I hurt inside even I should probably blow it off I just can't seem to.I found out 2 days ago and have cried on a few occasions about it.On top of everything no one in his family RSVP'D to let my friend know (she is throwing it)that 15 people,seriously 15 people will not be coming.Not one called.Which I think is very very rude.She had purchased food,flatware etc for several more than she will need. I feel bad that she wasted her money.I am gonna go for now girls and i hope that i do not rub anyone the wrong way with this post.I will be posting a 24 week belly shot soon.Until then hugs to you all...

Monday, August 24, 2009

great news and 22 week belly shot

Well I had my follow up u/s today and the results were great! Praise God!! They said that there was no more hematoma that it was GONE! We are so grateful that the threat to our little miracle has for the most part disappeared.We could still end having him early like I said before because of my endometriosis and the fact that I have had a hematoma but our chances of it being as early or early at all have been dramatically reduced. I have to say that wow he is getting big and now looks cramped in there compared to all the extra space he had before to float around in.I also asked the tech to check the sex again just to be sure and this tech says he's a boy too.I have a follow up appointment at my OB on wednesday and I will have more info on what my restrictions continue to be or if they have changed.We are just so excited and thankful to our lord for healing the hematoma.We prayed daily for this to happen and our prayers were answered.I will post either today or tomorrow our recent u/s pics.They are not as clear as we would have liked as he was being less than cooperative today.He was having his rest time he is not very active at the time of day my appointment was so he was curled up with an arm acrossed his face.He gave us a little wave and a few kicks but didn't really jump around much.But like I said that is normal for the time of day (2:00pm) our appointment was at.I will post more later when I get a bit more time.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Had a scare,pics from friends wedding in june and the latest goings on here

We are holding up 3 fingers in some of the pics because we were three months pregnant.The pictures were fun and we had a good time acting goofy and and sweet with each other.

Well lets start with the scare we had it started last weekend when the temp and humidity decided to spike and we started have our 95 degree days here in Michigan (crazy I know).On the afternoon of Sunday august 9th I started getting really overheated as we were having a yard sale with a friend. As the day grew hotter and more humid I started to feel overheated, nauseous and a bit dizzy.So I sat down as much as possible and was consuming fluids.I made a comment to DH and my friend that "nanner" that's what we call our baby for now, was not very active that day.But I just played down to the change in our schedule etc.Plus I was busy with the sale and preoccupied.Well later that night after the sale DH looked down at my feet and said "umm hunny, your feet are purple".I looked down and either out just exhaustion or not knowing how to respond was like "hmm imagine that, they are purple" At this point he prompted me to go lay down and put them up which I did.As the night went on "nanner" still did not make himself known and my skin was getting tight on my fingers,thighs and calves.I decided to call my OB's office the next day and tell them what was going on.I still hadn't really felt "baby nanner" and if I did it was so faint that I was unsure if it was bubbles or him.My ob's nurse was out so I got a different one and told her what was going on and she said the heat and humidity is very hard on pregnant women and that I needed to drink tons of water, to keep my feet up and rest.She also said that pregnant women become dehydrated easier and they can't tell when they are.She then said that I should drink something cold and lay very still and wait to see if the baby kicks etc.If I didn't have a change in things she said I was more than welcome to go into the birthing center and they would listen to him and check me out.Well Monday finished out and Tuesday went by with very very faint movement or gas bubbles not sure and he still was not being my active boy.He had been keeping regular hours of kicking and moving (even DH could feel him) up until Sunday.You could have set your watch by him so that is why this was alarming to me.So Wednesday night at about 11:45pm we went in.(I had to wait for my Ex-husband to get out of work so he could come sit at our house with mine and his boys while they slept.Yes I know we have an unconventional relationship but we are still good friends and we co-parent our children wonderfully.He and DH get along great and even installed a dishwasher here together.)So anyways going on they took a urine sample and listened to "baby nanner" and she said he sounded great,that his heart was steady and regular.She said I needed to drink more fluids,keep my feet up and rest.She also said the heat may have been getting to him a bit so I should try to stay hydrated and cool.All of which I had started to do since the heat wave started on Sunday.So we went home hoping she is right and tried to get some sleep.The very next morning what do you think happened? Of course it was our "baby nanner" kicking and moving just like his old self.He was kicking so hard that DH could feel him which put huge smiles on both of our faces.He's been our active little monkey ever since.He sure did give us a scare but we are glad he is alright.We have an u/s on Monday to check for the hematoma and see him again,we can't wait! I am finally posting our pics that we took in the photo booth at my friends wedding in June, I know I said I would a long time ago but better late than never. I should probably give a little history on our baby's nickname which he had even before we knew he was a boy in order to stop calling the baby "it" as in "it" kicked "it" moved,having a nickname made it more personable.His nickname came because we call him our little monkey and are doing his room in jungle and monkeys, so we decided on "nanner" as in banana.Everyone thought it was cute and it has stuck and will be around until he has an official name but I have a sneaking suspicion that he will always be our little nanner.On a different note I was officially put on prescription reflux/acid meds since my acid problem had gotten so bad and over the counter stuff was not working.They put me on protonix which I have to say works very well.My OB made the decision after I aspirated in my sleep.I literally woke up after dosing off at bedtime choking on milk and cereal that I had eaten an hour so before bed.DH woke up to me coughing and wheezing as I struggled to breath and cough up pieces of cereal and milk.It had made its way to my lungs as I breathed in while I slept,of course after shooting up my throat.It was very scary and went on for 15 minutes-20 minutes.My lungs burned and hurt so bad for the next few days like I had been diving very deep while swimming or something.We are officially done with all 3 baby registries, we added the baby depot at Burlington coat factory since it had a lot of different things that Babies r us and Target didn't have.I will be posting a 22 week belly pic very soon since I will be 22 weeks today.I know there was more to catch up all you girls on but I think I have pregnancy head lately and can't seem to remember anything ugh! Well I will close for now and I hope everyone is well, hugs to you all!
This pic is of me and one of my best friends she is the one throwing me my shower on september 5th,I love her like a sister! We had fun acting silly and changing poses before the camera took each pic!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

20 week pics and updates on u/s results

20 week belly shot (actually 20 weeks 3 days)we took it a few days late

I know I have been a bad blogger, but life has gotten the better of my time lately.We have had yard sales at 2 different locations for the past 2 weekends to help try to make some money for needed baby items.So besides all the work those took lets see what else is new.Well I went back for the official results on July 30th and the OB said the head measurements etc looked good and on track.She also decided that since we could not see the hematoma on the gender scan u/s that she will have me do another u/s 4 weeks from then (now 16 days away) and if we don't see it on that u/s either than we will call it gone/resolved.We are so hoping that it is gone and not just hiding like they are known to do.As I stated before,even if it is gone we are not completely out of the woods for an early delivery as once the damage is done it's done with hematomas.And I do still have endometriosis which was my second risk factor for a preemie. However my chances of how early can be changed and lessened but the hematoma resolving.They also said that I only gained one pound in the 4 weeks proceeding my appontment.I have no idea how that could be possible I sure look like I am gaining a lot of weight.I think altogether (not including the wonderful 15-20 pounds I gained on fertility meds) I have gained about 5-6 pounds during my pregnancy.Did anyone else gain weight after months on fertility meds.I have heard it is common but that doesn't make me like it.Let's see what else is new, well my best friend informed that she will be throwing me a shower on September 5th, wow that is soon and I am so excited!I have no idea what I am going to wear for it,but I was tempted to wear a cute dress. We are still working on names and have started to narrow it down.I may ask for all of you girls input through a poll,just to see which name you all prefer.I know in the end it is our decision and we and our little boy will be the ones to live with it, but it will possibly help me sort the names out a bit.We did receive our first gift the other day it was from my DH's cousin (they live in Virginia).I guess they found our registry and decided to send us something, we hadn't even told anyone that we had made it yet.We were delighted when we opened the box from target and it had the bouncy seat we registered for inside.Our little miracle now makes himself known several times a day he goes through spurts of moving and kicking.I still get excited every time he does it.We can't wait to see him again on the 24th.I will also have a follow up with the OB on the 26th although I will be seeing one of the other OB's in the practice since mine will be on vacation.So now I guess I will leave you with some recent pics,including a 20 week belly shot which is 3 days late.Well girls that is about it for now.I will post more soon. HUGS!!

Me braving the camera after a long hot,rainy,humid day and with no makeup.Wow do I look pregnant!

The little monkey that daddy picked out for our little monkey!

Our first baby gift!! Jungle themed bouncy seat so cute!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Appointment today,registered for baby items and daddy felt the baby kick!

Tuesday night DH felt the baby kick for the very first time.I had been feeling the baby kick and placed his hand just to show him where,not thinking even for a minute that he would be able to feel it.Than all the sudden our miracle decided to give a good kick right in the same spot.I didn't have my hands on my belly but dh had his hand on my belly and we both were like did you feel that he just kicked.I couldn't believe he felt it too.I kept asking him if he was sure and he was grinning from ear to ear saying "that was so cool!".He was positive that he felt it.So we hit another mile stone.We also have been working on another which is registering for the stuff for the baby.We have registered at target and babies r us so far.(even though babies r us is about an hour away from us)Target had very slim pickings and everything seemed to be out or low.It was so surreal being the one to create the registry not just the one to buy someone else gifts off theirs.The difficult thing is that BRU advises against registering for clothing as it tends to have a high turnover and target's scanner won't let you.So we were unable to pick out clothing for him.And there is some very cute monkey outfits out,seems to be popular this year.I have a appointment to get the results of my anatomy scan/hematoma check today.I am a bit nervous but hoping it will be good news.I will update after I get home.My appointment is at 3:00pm.I also am including a late 18 week belly shot it was actually taken when I was 18 1/2 weeks but better late than never, I am currently 19 weeks 1 day.I just looked at them and wow do I look pregnant.Haven't weighed myself lately and not sure I want to but I know tomorrow at my appointment they will.Well girls you all take care and I will post again soon.

My snowflake items

My snowflake items
DH got me these after we officially accepted our set of snowflake babies