Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Our shower,new pics and lots of braxton hicks!
These are pics of me on the day of the shower,they are my 24 week belly shot pics.
So let's start with the shower they did it, they boycotted it.It was very hard on me an DH and we even both cried a bit out of stress and hurt before we left to attend the shower.Partially because we didn't know what we were walking into and partially out of the hurt and stress.In the end the only 2 from his family that we knew were going to show actually did(great grandmother and his great aunt).The rest never showed,never RSVP'd,or called us ,no cards or presents were mailed or acknowledgement of the first baby for DH and his side at all.Very cold people.So in the end out of 36 people invited 8 showed up.We had a small amount of hope that there would have been a few that changed their mind and realized that his issues with his mother were not their issues and they shouldn't get involved.My mom,sister,his great aunt,great grandma and a few of my friends were who attended.I have to say we looked a little silly getting a large facility for such a small showing.But we never anticipated that they all wouldn't show when we first arranged for the use of the facility.We were a bit sad by the turnout as this was such a big day for us.I have attended so many baby showers and was just looking forward to my turn at being the one the shower was thrown for.I guess when you wait for something for 10 years you just have a certain way in your mind that it will go when it actually happens.My best friend did do a wonderful job throwing the shower the food was great and the games were fun.She did end up with way too much food as she planned for more too.We did get some nice gifts we got mostly clothes which included the following,2 onesies,6 sleepers,2 winter outfits,1 summer outfit (larger size for later),a pack of diapers,package of wipes, pacifiers,baby spoons,2 blankets,bottle of baby wash,socks/booties,rattle and a booster seat travel high combo.All of it was stuff we needed.We still have a lot we need, I am now wishing I had done more yard saling and bought more along the way but everyone told me not to because I would get way more than I needed at my shower.I guess that is true for some couples but when more then half of your guest list doesn't show I guess it changes things a bit.I hope his mom is happy as usual she won she managed to take a special day and bring pain to it.She did the same thing when we got engaged,when we got married, thanksgiving,Christmas,my birthday and now my one and only baby shower.I have no idea what will happen with all of them but for now dh is adamant that we are done with all of them.I can't say I very heartbroken about this as she has already hurt me so much I am not very sad to see her go.On a even sadder note I learned that one of my good college friends did not show up to my shower because she was deceased.I found out 4 days after the shower when my best friend called to say she had gotten back my college friend Tatiana's invite and that it had deceased written on it.I was in disbelief and denial.I was like yeah I know she was supposed to move and maybe the person at her old address did it because they were sick of getting her mail.My best friend was like I don't know it's just what it says.So we ended our conversation and I went to go look up our local newspaper online.I typed in her name and to my shock and horror there she was.She had been in a car accident and killed 9 months ago.I had no idea I just figured we had lost touch granted it was the longest we had gone without checking in with each other since we met.But we both were busy she had plans for moving to a different place,she had a 5 year old daughter and was single mother to her, I got married,had a honeymoon,she was in school and working full time.Then we started TTC and got matched with embies,had a failed cycle, got pregnant,had a threatened miscarriage and well here we are.It as been just over a year since we spoke last,little did I now that she was dead for 9 months of it.As soon as I saw the article I burst into tears.I couldn't believe what I was seeing.How did I let us lose touch?It occurred to me that the same month she died we were blessed with being matched with embies, it was December.You always think you have tomorrow and that you will catch up later,but what if tomorrow never comes?
I met her in my math class in 2005 at our local business college.She was originally from Ecuador and and moved to Georgia in 2001 and became a citizen.She worked for a office furniture manufacturer and worked her way up from working on the lines to working in the plant offices.She was transferred to here from Georgia in 2004 and her employer sent her and some other fellow workers to school.That is where and when I met her.She taught herself english and she spoke it well, she had a strong accent but I came to love that about her.It wasn't so strong that you couldn't understand her but it always reminded me that she had built herself up from the bottom and wouldn't let her differences stop her.Before our lives got so busy we used to go to movies,out to eat, she helped me work on my spanish,she took me to a latin festival,she took me dancing at a latin dance club (that was so fun!),shot pool,went dancing at other dance clubs and just plain hung out.She loved buffalo wild wings,in particular the mozzarella sticks from there.She also loved to dance!She exposed me to culture that I may have never experienced to that magnitude if I had never met her.She was the most outgoing,fun loving,optimistic person I knew.She always had a huge beautiful smile on her face.And she was full of laughter.I will miss her so much. I was so looking forward to catching up with her at the shower she would have been so genuinely happy and excited for me.I wish I had known sooner about her death but we do not get the paper,don't watch much TV and her and I had no mutual friends since her only friends were a few she made at work.She had no family here they are mostly in Ecuador and she had a sister in Georgia.I had to do my own sleuthing if I wanted closure as I kept telling dh that I was unable to process her death.It may have happened 9 months ago but it was like it happened yesterday for me.I had no closure ,no memorial service to attend and no burial site to visit.To the best of my internet sleuthing her death certificate was issued in Georgia so I assume that is where she is buried.I did manage to find the father of her daughter who is in Georgia as I remembered his name and found him on a networking site.He replied to my email saying that their daughter is doing well,with the help of God and that she is with him.He also sent his phone number saying I can call anytime and he fill me in on all the questions I have surrounding her death, like her final resting spot, what exactly happened and a way to contact her family to let them know how much she meant to me along with my sympathies.It was great to see pics of her beautiful little girl again which he had on his site.I will be including a link to the newspaper article about her death if anyone would like to know the details.The one detail that I learned outside of the paper from a another that worked with her was that before her accident she had just dropped off her 5 year old daughter at school and was on her way to work.She was only 1-2 miles from her home when it happened.She was only 36 years old at the time of the crash.We also drove to where her accident happened and her last residence as I needed to see for myself.I am planning on making her a roadside marker.
God rest your wonderful soul and I will miss you greatly Tatiana!
The last thing I want to post about was all of these braxton hicks contractions I have been having they have been painful not painless like most of books describe.I had 4 only 6-10 minutes apart this weekend.They were all inside of an hour.I had more with less frequency throughout the rest of the night.I wasn't even doing anything strenuous, I was simply laying on the couch watching TV and getting the house ready to shut it down for the night.Poor dh was getting very freaked out as they were quite painful and he could feel how tight my uterus was. I have read that they can lead to real labor which makes me very nervous.I have had regular stronger cramping too.The hematoma and endometriosis put me at risk of premature labor so I do not know what to make of all this.We are praying that this little guy stays put until it's time for him to come in december.I plan to ask my doctor about all this when we go on september 24th.I will keep you all posted and if anyone has experienced something similar please free to share it will me.