Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Canceled......

That is what happened.They canceled my transfer.Even though I understand why, it still was heartbreaking.DH and I are kinda in a sad funk.It all happened due to that cyst (the one they found in my other u/s's) at least that is what they believe. I will start from the beginning.Yesterday afternoon I had a very sharp pain on my left side by my ovary. A few hours later I started spotting and then today when I went in for the u/s it became a real flow.After they did the u/s it really got things going. I told them about the spotting when I first went in.So they said they would try to figure out what is going on.When they were performing the u/s they saw that a) the follicles had not grown b) I had blood/fluid in my uterus and c) that the cyst was gone most likely it ruptured or drained itself.The theory is that the cyst ruptured and therefore caused my body to have a period.They said that cysts accumulate hormones and that when they rupture or drain that it releases those hormones and they trick your body into thinking it is time for a period. So here I am starting from scratch.We are going to move forward again just as soon as I get my next period.It is so frustrating to go through all that the follistim shots,u/s,blood work and appointments that were an hour away just to have it come out this way. Now we have to regroup and figure out how we will pay for all new meds and labs etc all over again.Sorry girls I am just in a down in the dumps mood.I told hubby that I just wanted to come home and put on my jammies and as I was doing so I just totally broke down after keeping a brave front all day.DH did his best to comfort me even though he is sad too.It doesn't help how I feel seeing as I still am sick with this cold or whatever it is that is giving me this deep chest cough, stuffiness and low grade fever off and on.I miss having insurance :-( So the new plan is to start birth control and then use the next cycle. I was not on birth control before all of this and I guess it is not always used in FET transfers. But sometime is.They wanted me to be on a low dose pill as that is all I need and I do not tolerate birth control well at all. I tried in the past to help my endometriosis but had to go off of it the first month because it gave me severe depression.Well the nurse tried to find the cheapest low dose pill as possible but nothing was cheap so I am on a higher dose one "gulp" since go figure it was cheaper only $9.00 compared to over $50.00.Again I miss being insured.They are having me take this to regulate my cycle (which it always was regular until this month) and help keep my ovaries "quiet" as they like to say.So I started with pill number 1 this afternoon.Here I go.........again.........

P.s. I would like to say thank you for all the words of encouragement that were on my blog today when I got home, even though you all didn't know it yet it was just what I needed.

17 comments:

Tiffany said...

I am so so sorry.

Lisa said...

I know that there isn't anything that any of us can say that can make things better for you and take away the pain that you are experiencing right now. Just know that I am so sorry that things were cancelled and that I am hoping and praying that in one way or another you all can get things started again. Keep the Faith!!

Hugs,
Lisa

Mimi said...

I am so very sorry honey. I am here for you if you need a friend.

Kami

Dr. Hill's Mrs. said...

Wow, what a day! You deserve jammie time and to be pampered! Remember, God's timing is perfect. I've been humming that Garth Brook's song "Thank God for Unanswered Prayers" today...

Michele said...

That just sicks. I am so sorry. I'd say cuddle in those jammies and just turn the lights off for some quiet time. I'm so bummed for you guys.

Houston333 said...

I'm sure going through this without insurance and having issues with jobs is difficult.

Hoping for our own Peanut said...

im so sorry megan. :( i can only imagine how devestating this is.

email me if you want to talk more.

Dora said...

So sorry your transfer was cancelled. I'm really curious as to why you were on follistim and HCG for a frozen embryo transfer? I've never heard of that. The only protocols I've heard of are either suppression of the ovaries (usually lupron), followed by estrogen to build up the lining, or no suppression, just estrogen for the lining and transfer after normal ovulation.

Dan and Gretchen said...

Oh Megan, I'm so sorry to hear of this. However, as you know there is nothing worth jeopardizing your health or the health of the unborn baby(s)...so hang on and keep the faith, it will happen!!!

You're in my prayers for sure, I can't even imagine the disappointment!!!

Polly Gamwich said...

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you got cancelled :(

Mimi said...

I am so excited that you and I are going through this together!!!

Hugs,
Kami

twondra said...

I followed you from Kami's blog. I hope that's okay. I had a failed IVF and was told that we would need to use donor eggs/embies. I hope it's okay that I continue to follow your story. I love to find people using donor eggs and/or embryos.

Good luck sweetie! It sounds like you have been through sooooo much. (((HUGS)))

Tammy
www.twondra.blogspot.com

Mrz. Hannah Myhre said...

Hi I've been reading some of your posts, and seen that you had a cancelled cycle. I'm very sorry. I don't even know what that must have felt like. It is one of my worst fears concerning IVF. Its really good to see that your already trying again, and not giving up. (Even though you may feel like it sometimes). I'm keeping you in my thoughts & prayers.

(HUGS),
Hannah

Leslie Laine said...

Thinking of you - sorry to hear this news. I know that it's hard to keep yourself steady after hearing news like this - it's so deflating! I'm glad to hear that you're already working toward the next cycle. Hopefully, this is your body's way of getting ready to make everything its absolute best for your snowflakes.

Take care of yourself, let yourself cry, eat chocolate and whatever brings you a small sense of peace. You'll be ready to get back in there again.

Thinking of you.

G & H said...

Aw I am so sorry for all the crazy news! I know what you mean about all the money towards meds and everything its so draining and tough! Take your day to be in jammies and be sad and then do your best to see the positive I'll be praying for ya!

Sarah said...

Thank you so much for your warm welcome. I'm so, so sorry for what you are going through. I wish you the very best and I thank you for inviting me to follow your journey!

Sarah

Kischa said...

Wow, you've been through alot. Thanks for stopping by my blog and the encouraging words. I love your blog because it's very similar to mine.

IF is expensive and draining - I have insurance but it doesn't cover IF. I'm starting the foster and adoption process this month, I know that it will be very emotional but I think we can handle it. I hope!

My snowflake items

My snowflake items
DH got me these after we officially accepted our set of snowflake babies