Canceled......

That is what happened.They canceled my transfer.Even though I understand why, it still was heartbreaking.DH and I are kinda in a sad funk.It all happened due to that cyst (the one they found in my other u/s's) at least that is what they believe. I will start from the beginning.Yesterday afternoon I had a very sharp pain on my left side by my ovary. A few hours later I started spotting and then today when I went in for the u/s it became a real flow.After they did the u/s it really got things going. I told them about the spotting when I first went in.So they said they would try to figure out what is going on.When they were performing the u/s they saw that a) the follicles had not grown b) I had blood/fluid in my uterus and c) that the cyst was gone most likely it ruptured or drained itself.The theory is that the cyst ruptured and therefore caused my body to have a period.They said that cysts accumulate hormones and that when they rupture or drain that it releases those hormones and they trick your body into thinking it is time for a period. So here I am starting from scratch.We are going to move forward again just as soon as I get my next period.It is so frustrating to go through all that the follistim shots,u/s,blood work and appointments that were an hour away just to have it come out this way. Now we have to regroup and figure out how we will pay for all new meds and labs etc all over again.Sorry girls I am just in a down in the dumps mood.I told hubby that I just wanted to come home and put on my jammies and as I was doing so I just totally broke down after keeping a brave front all day.DH did his best to comfort me even though he is sad too.It doesn't help how I feel seeing as I still am sick with this cold or whatever it is that is giving me this deep chest cough, stuffiness and low grade fever off and on.I miss having insurance :-( So the new plan is to start birth control and then use the next cycle. I was not on birth control before all of this and I guess it is not always used in FET transfers. But sometime is.They wanted me to be on a low dose pill as that is all I need and I do not tolerate birth control well at all. I tried in the past to help my endometriosis but had to go off of it the first month because it gave me severe depression.Well the nurse tried to find the cheapest low dose pill as possible but nothing was cheap so I am on a higher dose one "gulp" since go figure it was cheaper only $9.00 compared to over $50.00.Again I miss being insured.They are having me take this to regulate my cycle (which it always was regular until this month) and help keep my ovaries "quiet" as they like to say.So I started with pill number 1 this afternoon.Here I go.........again.........

P.s. I would like to say thank you for all the words of encouragement that were on my blog today when I got home, even though you all didn't know it yet it was just what I needed.