update

Today was pretty uneventful and kind of boring being on bed rest but I know it's for the best.My bleeding actually slowed way down by early evening last night.By 10pm there was no red blood at all only very light pink spotting, this continued but was only when I wiped there was nothing on my pad at all.By this morning the pink was all but gone when I wiped and was replaced later in the afternoon with tan to brown old blood/discharge.I haven't felt anything out of the ordinary today.I am not looking forward to all of PIO shots but I know they are necessary.The first 2 I have had have left my rump very sore.I am anxious for my u/s on Tuesday as I am scared that something could be wrong even if I am not bleeding.I just want to see our beautiful baby and see how it's doing again.We are so in love with our little monkey already and just want it to stay safe until it's time to be born. Thank you, all you wonderful girls for the support,prayers and encouraging words, I have appreciated them more than you know and love you all for it.

threatened miscarriage...Please pray!

Let me start from the begining.I was in bed at like 7:45 am sound asleep and then I was woke up slightly to a warm gush that I could feel was coming from my umm hoo hoo.I was very out of it so I chalked it up to the progeseterone suppository gushing out as happens with those things.In retrospect it was a much gushier/watery feeling, but like I said I was dead asleep and only woke for a few seconds after feeling that.Well fast forward about a half an hour and I woke up this time to feeling like I was drenched in sweat.I then realized that it was only the lower half of me that was wet.I in a disorientated state felt the bed under me and it was wet.I brought my hand to my face to check for blood, I didn't see any.I then turned over to see a light pink spot on my white sheets that was about as big as a baseball.I then woke my husband and darted to the bathroom.Once I was in there I saw that my medium absorbancy pad was saturated with pink fluid.Maybe diluted blood.My underwear and pj bottoms had a good amount on them too.I was not bleeding when I wiped but I almost fainted in the bathroom.I had sweat running down my chest.And I am not a person who gets sweaty.I lost my hearing and I knew I was going out soon.I put head down towards my feet and sat until it passed.DH was scared but supportive I was impressed at his ability to stay realtivly calm even though I could tell he was scared.I then started making calls.The first was to my OBGYN who was not open yet.Second I called my RE's office which I was only getting everyones voicemail so I actually used the emergency option on the menu and it worked, before I knew it I was talking to the receptionist and I told her what was happening.She then passed a message on and said the nurse would call me back.I then called my OBGYN as they were open at this point, telling them what was happening and they said to keep my appointment at 2:45pm since I wasn't bleeding bright red blood.After I got off the phone with them my RE called back and I told them what was going on.She then said she would talk to the doctor and see about getting me in and she would call me back shortly.Well on my next trip to the bathroom there it was the bright red blood and there was a decent amount of it.So DH called the obgyn to tell them and and they said to go to the ER.After he hung up the RE's office called and said they could see me at 1pm.I told her about the bright red blood and she said to come in right then instead because they can do an u/s right there.So we headed out and I sat in tears and silence sobbing on the way there.It is an hour drive which felt like forever.We got there and when we were taken back and they permormed an u/s.I was crying at this point scared to see the baby without a heartbeat.He was performing the u/s and said look can you see the heartbeat and I replied that I couldn't see it (i was in tears during this)and he then turned on the sound and we heard the babys heart it was at 182.7bmp. He also said that there was plenty of fluid around it and that it looked good.They did note that I have cysts on both ovaries but that they were of no concern, I however do have pain on the left side by my ovary assumbably from the cyst.They were perplexed at what the fluid might be and tried say it may be urine.I tried explaining that I felt it come from my hoo hoo no where else.I know that there are plenty of you out there that would agree that you can feel something pass through your hoo hoo.It's just a sensation that you are well aware of.He then said I was having a threatened miscarriage and now I am on strict bedrest.I was continuing to bleed heavier while they did the u/s.He also switched me to PIO shots instead of the suppositories as I am unable to absorb them while I am bleeding.The only pharmacy here that carries it only had one bottle even though my script calls for more.I will be on it longer than that.I decided to keep my appointment at my obgyn because I really wanted to update her and get so more input on things.I this time also took in my pad from when I was sleeping that was full of fluid(in a baggie of course) as I meant to take it to the RE but forgot it. She agreed that it was not urine but slightly bloody fluid.She asked how many embies we had transferred and were we sure that only one took?I said that is all they have ever told us.She wondered if there was an extra sac from one that didn't make it and that was the fluid from it after it ruptured.Which is interesting because DH and had wondered that same thing just before we saw her.She did not do an u/s but I showed her the pics from this morning and she said that it all looked very good and that she liked the baby's heartrate that the RE had gotten.She then has scheduled me for an u/s on the 26th which is in 5 days.She also is getting me in to see her on the 1st.I will still have my full OB appointment on the 10th.My OB was so compasionte and understanding.So girls all I can do is wait and wonder and be terrified.I have no more fluid coming out but am still bleeding but it has slowed down since i have been in bed.So please we could use all the prayers we can get as we are sad and scared.

First OB appointment tomorrow and the theme for the babys room

Well I managed to get in to my OB office after I called and and explained that my RE really wanted me to be seen sooner than a month and also that I have a history of infertility and mc's.They are also getting me in sooner because of my horrible migraines.I will not be having the first full OB appointment, this will be just to go over my meds (progesterone and estrogen) and also my headaches.I will however have the full appointment on June 10th. My appointment tomorrow is at 2:45pm so I will update everyone when I get back.I had a interesting moment with my oldest son tonight as I was cleaning up the kitchen he said "momma your baby in your belly is getting bigger,I can see you tummy getting bigger" I knew my tummy was sticking out more but I guess I did not realize how noticeable it was. I know I just feel chunkier lately not like I look pregnant.But the weight gain or swelling is all in my bb's and tummy.I still feel like an outsider around pregnant women.I feel like I am an impostor and at any minute I will be found out.I know this is irrational but while I know this pregnancy is real it can be very hard for me to feel it's real.I am considering getting a doppler as I think it will help put my mind at ease and continue to let see how real this blessing really is.We have began to plan our nursery theme it will be a jungle theme.Mostly monkeys.We already have our bedding set which I included pictures of.We also purchased a bassinet off the list that craig made. It's beautiful! The very first thing we bought for the baby was the monkey in the pictures.We refer to the baby as our little monkey sometimes, so it is very fitting.I have to say the neatest thing this week is that the baby is now looking like a baby.Wow that happens fast!

Todays U/S and a catch up about mothers day and I finally graduated!!

**I had some blog troubles and I had to copy and paste in order to save this post,the original had to be deleted.So the comments that were already there I copied too as I did not want to lose anything all my girls had to say.Sorry for the jumbled mess**



So first things first.I realize I am a bit late in posting regarding mothers day but better late than never. We went to church that morning, which included me,Bryan, the boys and my mom.I know that most IF'ers dread church on mothers day because they usually single out the mothers in the congregation leaving the women struggling with IF to feel left out.It has been awhile since that was how I felt since I was blessed in be able to adopt my boys. But the thought and memory of what it must be like for my fellow IF'ers still is strong in my mind as well as what it felt like for me back before my boys. My heart went out to everyone that day that was struggling and it still does.I do have to say that my church has taken such a refreshing path on mothers day that I know won't fix the infertility struggles that women in the congregation may have but at least they won't feel singled out. My church has a newer method of celebrating mothers day than several others, in that they do not ask who is a mother and they do not only give mothers a flower. But instead they invite ALL women to come forward that are 18 and over because they want all women to know that they are precious and loved no matter what role they are at in their life.And everyone that does receives a flower.I think it is such a wonderful way to do that since we are all either a mother or a daughter and we're important to our loved ones no matter where we are in the road of life.After church we can back to our house where DH and I had prepared lasagna, veggies , garlic bread and strawberry pie.It was a very nice meal and my idea to stay in rather than fight the crowds and spend lots of extra money we don't really have on dining out. My husband got me a willow tree figure called "cherish".It is the pregnant one which is what I really wanted since he had gotten me one before we were married called "promise" and I wanted to add to it. He also got me a second one for mothers day from the boys called "quietly" which has a toddler and another older child with a mother. I thought his choices were so thoughtful and sweet. The boys sat there and pointed to the pregnant one saying" that is momma with a baby in her belly". My oldest was saying "that's momma, that's me and that's brother." when he was showing me the second statue from him and his brother It was so cute and amazing how little minds work.They both had birthdays just recently and now are newly 4 and 6 years old.I will be including a 8 week belly shot in this post( I took it a few days ago,pardon the jammies ) and also our u/s pic from today.Our appointment went wonderful today and we actually got to hear the heartbeat.It was amazing.The heartbeat was at 168 bpm and the baby now measures 18mm in size it almost quadrupled in 2 weeks and 2 days since my last ultrasound.My doctor was like "that is a big baby!" He said it looked wonderful and that everything looks right on track. So now I officially have graduated to my OBGYN. I called and made an appointment today but they can't get me in until June 10th.Which is almost 4 weeks away.My doctor wanted me to be seen in 2-3 weeks but that will be 3 weeks and 5 days at that point. I hate waiting that long but I guess I have no choice.It was so neat because the baby actually is looking like a baby in the ultrasound.It kind of has a Kewpie doll look and build right now (I am including a pic of a Kewpie doll for those who may be too young to remember them or have never heard of them,my mom was/is an antique collector so I had no choice but to know of them lol)We have another u/s pic to share from today too.I was so prepared for bad news when i went today as I am always scared before the u/s's.I always feel like something could happen and I would not realize it.I was relieved when everyone in the room was all happy and excited for me and telling me how good the baby was doing.And when I say everyone I mean all 4 people besides myself.There was a female intern that was very sweet, my doctor, my husband and then also my donor coordinator that called me yesterday "just because". She is so sweet and we have become more like friends/family then me being her patient.She called to see how I was doing and I told her of my upcoming u/s and she was so excited and asked if it was ok if she came in for it. I was of course flattered and said "yes".Officially her job is and has been done with me but she has continued to follow my story and progress.They also have made me promise and this includes the receptionist who knows me by name to bring in the baby after it's born.I love my RE's office and people and will miss them all but I know this is a good thing that I am moving to my OBGYN.And we do still have 3 snow babies on ice so I know we will be back before I know it as time moves so fast.Well girls this post has become longer than I intended but I wanted to update you all and share some pics.((hugs)) to all of you and God Bless!







Posted by Angelwingsbaby at 4:10 PM
11 comments:
Stacie said...
OMG, your U/S's are adorable. When I saw them, it took me back to why my baby girl was the tiny in my womb! SO exciting. Enjoy every minute of it, it will go by quicker than you can expect.

May 15, 2009 6:09 PM
Jen said...
I am so happy for you!!!! Congrats!!! I pray I am @ 6.5 weeks behind you!!! I love the belly shot!!!

Hugs!!!
Jen

May 15, 2009 6:59 PM
Jen&Carter said...
Yah, I am glad that you had a good appt and that you have graduated up. Congrats.

May 15, 2009 7:19 PM
Mrz. Hannah Myhre said...
Love the pics.. Glad to see everything is going well for you:)

Hugs,
Hannah

May 15, 2009 8:08 PM
blessedmomto7 said...
You graduated! THAT ROCKS! Love the picture of the belly and the way your church handles Mom's day!

May 15, 2009 10:04 PM
Jen said...
I sent you a private email with a very important question @ FET meds which is driving me nuts!!! Please respond.
Thanks!!!
jenandpatmclaughlin@yahoo.com

May 15, 2009 11:23 PM
twondra said...
LOVE the u/s picture! It's soooo cute!

Glad you had a good Mother's Day. :)

I miss talking to you, too. :) We definitely need to chat again. :)

May 16, 2009 7:35 AM
Dr. Hill's Mrs. said...
Congratulations on your continued successful pregnancy! I love how your church has adapted its Mother's Day service- wish mine would do that. I had an excuse not to attend because I was traveling home from a work trip. Still it was a brutal day. I am so excited to see your ultrasound photos! God bless this baby!

May 16, 2009 2:52 PM
Michele said...
Love your willow tree figures. I collect those and each has a special little memory.

So glad things are going well!

May 16, 2009 8:14 PM
Sarah said...
Congrats again on such a beautiful, healthy looking fetus! Before you now it you'll find out the sex. Are you going to find out? I'm just so excited for you! It's so hard to believe that I'm done and am never going to experiance that again. I'm so very blessed and am not complaining though. My tubes were damaged for a reason and I know that 3 was enough for me :)

Keep us posted :)

May 16, 2009 8:50 PM
hopefaithlove said...
YOu u/s looks like a little gummy bear, so excited for you... on a side note I skipped Mother's day I thought pregnancy hormones mixed with IF thoughts would make me lose it.

May 16, 2009 10:18 PM

upcoming u/s

My next u/s is Friday may 15th so about a week away now.Everything is going well here.Still adjusting to the idea that I am actually pg.But since my tummy has swollen to new proportions it is hard to not have reality set in.I finally picked up a couple of new bras that were a whole cup size bigger this week as I was bulging out of the others.I did not think all the swelling and bloating would happen so soon.But I guess everyone is different.The cramping has settled down a lot.The new thing I have been experiencing is headaches.Long lingering headaches that Tylenol doesn't touch.Actually Tylenol has never worked for me so why should it now.Does anyone know any safe treatment of headaches like home remedies while you are pg? My last headache lasted for three days I would go to sleep with and wake up with it daily. Also does anyone have any book recommendations?I did pick up "what to expect when you are expecting" like my RE recommend but are there any other good ones.All of this is new to me as I never made it this far before in my earlier pg's.And even up to the same point I never had any symptoms only a BFP on a stick.I never had the blood tests, never saw the heartbeat, they just didn't watch me that close. This has been my first u/s ever that I have seen the baby that I am carrying as the only one I had before was during one of my mc's.Everything about this pg is different but I think that is good even if I can't fit into anything I own and have been experiencing some nausea and throwing up.It may sound strange but some of these not so fun symptoms are comforting as they let me know that things are progressing and the baby is doing well.I am excited for my upcoming u/s as we will be released if it goes well to my OBGYN.Well girls I should go as we are getting up early to go to yard sales and find some much needed things for the baby.I didn't think I was gonna ever have another baby to raise so we have some bargain hunting to do because if we don't find stuff now it will be winter when the baby comes.And there are no yard sales in the late fall winter time.So we are trying to plan ahead so we can try to afford everything.Well God bless and sorry I have been a bad blogger lately but the headaches keep me down and away from the computer.

wonderful ultrasound!

We have a healthy singleton non-ectopic pregnancy (it turning out ectopic was a fear of mine)that looks really, really good. With a very visible heartbeat that is 110bpm.Who knows it might have been higher but I was kinda holding my breath when he was counting trying to be very still not knowing if he needed me to be very still or not. I didn't even realize I was doing it until he was done watching it beat LOL .Normal at this point is 90-110bpm.It is also measuring 4.9mm and normal for now is 2-4mm. So the baby is doing wonderful.They had warned me that we may not even be able to see a heartbeat yet when we came in for this appointment and that would be normal this early. But it was VERY visible.They also changed my due date from 12-25-09 to 12-23-09.Two days earlier.It made it so much more real to me and DH.We are so excited!!

First u/s is coming up quick

Our first u/s is on wednesday the 29th and we are so excited! I haven't really had much to report lately we are getting ready for a yard sale that we are having this weekend so lots of sorting and pricing has been keeping me busy.The thing I have noticed about myself is I am so swollen and bloated in my abdomen.Seriously nothing fits.It just seems so soon to be having this problem.My bb's don't even look like my own anymore. I so need to get new bras so I can stop having quad bb's. :-) I was wondering if anyone knew if the progesterone and or estrogen could be part of my early bloating etc. I was told by the nurse that it was partly to blame for my cramps that I have been having since 3dpt.Which have gotten way less frequent and intense over the past week or so.This is all so new and uncertain to me just looking for some reassurance.So in the end while trying to get dressed on Saturday I was so frustrated when nothing at all fit.DH was trying to be comforting and said "honey why don't you just put on those maternity capris that you bought for later?,you are pregnant and you would be so much for comfortable" So I gave in seeing no other answer.But I tell you what I haven't been that comfortable in my clothes for the last week or so.And once I started wearing the ever so stretchy capris/convertible cargo pants part of the bloating/swelling went down in my belly.Not all of it not even close but it was noticeable.It was like the pants were restricting the flow of blood and fluids up and down through my body so it was pooling by my wait band.Just like it does on either side of my wedding ring lately from time to time.I take it off and then it goes down for a while.The funny thing through all of this is I am not eating anymore than usual.In fact DH was the first to point out I eat the same or less.So I have been perplexed.Any ideas girls???

Does anyone else have a stash like this.....

I am still in awe that I am pregnant but it hasn't come without many thoughts running through my head and the realization of things I have done through the years to try to get to this point that in the end did not work. I know it is probably time to throw these things out not just because I am pregnant but because they never ever worked for me.I am still nervous but also feel incredibly optimistic that this pregnancy is here to stay. I just feel like it was God's will to bring us to this option and his will to make it work.So I am trying to leave it in his hands, although admittedly I am still taking it easy to ease my own fears. I keep thinking about our due date which is Christmas day and I know that it will go faster than I think it will as the holidays always seem to sneak up on me.So on a different note here I display the stash I have.I guess you could add to the pile clomid,follistim and repronex with timed BDing and also follistim and repronex combined with IUI as none of those worked either. As well as the theory that after I had surgery for my endometriosis I would get pregnant easier ,because that never helped even with the many times I had surgery for it. I also took some common natural supplements that were supposed to help too but obviously they never worked. So here I look at all of this stuff and wonder why it is a bit difficult to let go.......Any theories out there? I know I will get rid of it in the end but why is something I have to think about?

2nd beta results

They just called and my 2nd beta was 375 .... wowser!
My first was 135 what does everyone make of this.More than one or just high numbers??? Also my u/s is scheduled for april 29th and they said I should be able to see a heartbeat by then.I am in disbelief and shock girls. I was a bit scared before my second beta this morning I was really nervous and worried whether it would increase or not.I guess I didn't have to worry.

It's Official! We are pregnant!

I got the call about an hour ago and the results were positive and they said my beta number of 135 was awesome! I have my second beta on Friday.I am speechless girls and so very excited.When I get the chance I do want to acknowledge some awards I was given awhile ago and I am so sorry to those who gave them to me that I have not done so sooner, but this transfer cycle has taken me over lately.I will post at another time the story of the morning when we first tested and DH's and my response to our positive. Hugs and God bless everyone, God is wonderful!!!

Ok so I caved and POAS.....

"Can I have the envelope please?" " And the winner is positive!! AKA Pregnant!!"I am in shock and disbelief.Is it likely that I would get a false BFP at this point? I am at 9dpt and I used first mornings urine? I took three tests, 2 of the same brand and 1 of another brand. My HCG trigger was on april 1st and AF would be due April 15 or 16th according to my normal cycle lately.With today being the 13th already I thought it might be close enough.I am posting pics of the sticks so we can all obsess.My beta is on wednesday the 15th.So only 2 days from now.What do we all think girls!!!

Trying to hold out

I am trying to hold off testing and wait for the beta on wednesday the 15th but it is getting really hard.

This horrible 2ww

Wow this is worse than I thought it would be.I am trying to distract myself but it's next to impossible and DH and I are so excited that there could be a baby(s) in my tummy.I keep counting days trying to figure out when trigger would be gone and when a positive would be a real positive.The most I could find online was 1 day per 1,000 of HCG.So a dose of 10,000 would take at the minimum of 10 days but I have read that since everyone is different that it can be up to 14 days.All I know no matter what the results are of my beta on April 15 that my bb's are the sorest they have ever been in this cycle and today is an all time high.I do know that if we get a negative that we are going to jump right back into things and try again.I was so positive that is was gonna work before I started and now the 2ww is messing with my head.I am losing my optimism girls..I have to say though that it was nice to talk to you Tammy while I was on bed rest as I was so bored.Sorry that I talked your ear off but it was so nice to have someone new to chat with.I am the type who can't sit still and doing that for a strict 48hours plus 2 more days of moderate restrictions and rest has been difficult.Plus I still have activity and lifting etc restrictions right now.I am so hoping that I have good news to share at the end of all this.

Our transfer with lots of pics of our day!!

Ahh where to begin it was an absolutely beautiful day for making a baby as we drove to the RE's office an hour from our home today (saturday).I took all the pills as directed and we made it there on time.They took me back where DH and I changed into our hospital wear.After that they took us back to the room where I continued drinking water as I was afraid I hadn't had enough(FYI 8 oz seemed to be enough) I ended up drinking two bottles of 8 oz for a total of 16oz. And let me tell you I had to pee so bad that I hurt. They let me up 4 minutes early since I had to go so bad.We took our video camera and digatel camera back with us and DH filmed the whole thing.Before they begin they gave us a pic of our embies which we were not expecting.And the best news was that all 3 survived the thaw.The RE said we had 2 really good ones and 1 mediocre one.It wasn't bad but not as good as the other 2.While we were waiting afterwards DH and I took pictures, watched our video and ate cookies.These were special cookies that we had bought just for this before our last canceled cycle. They were peppermint oreos with snowflakes on them in honor of us taking home our snowflake babies.And boy were they ever yummy,they tasted a bit like thin mints.We had never had them before since they were special editions.I have lots of pics that I will be posting in this entry.I am so glad that we captured the day as we did.The RE also gave us a ultrasound pic of the embryos after transfer. I have to say that it went so smoothly and was not even half as painful as my mock transfer or IUI was. I have a C shaped cervix that snakes but my doctor was prepared and it was so easy now that he knew from the mock what he had to do.My RE even said that he really liked our transfer and felt really good about it because it went so well.It was over before I knew it.The longest part was the waiting afterwards with your legs raised.So now the two week wait begins.I am on strict bedrest for 2 days and then I am limited for two more after that.And then on day five I can resume normal activites with resctrictions.It is so hard to sit still as I am not one that ever stays put for long.But I just know that before too long we will get our BFP.Thanks for all your supportive comments girls and I was thinking about all of you today while I was there.I am now cuddling up in bed with my bedrest pillow and blanket that we bought for me before our first cycle it's pink(my favorite color) and so very soft.The timeline of the pics is from bottom up.The first ones are before hand after we got ready and so on.Some of the first pics are from on the way home, I saw two different sets of two lines in the sky(the jet streaks and the phone lines both in one pic), do you think its a good sign???? :-)

Time is set for saturday transfer

I just got the call and my transfer will be at 11am on saturday. I have to arrive there by 10:30am though.I got my instructions and it now it is setting in girls.....I am going to be pregnant very very soon.I am excited and nervous. But more excited.I will keep you all updated while I am on my bed rest. HUGE HUGS to you all.