12 weeks, first full OB appointment,feeling down and u/s results on hematoma

Well I am 12 weeks today.The baby sure looks different in my ticker now,what a change.I had my first OB appointment today at which I got the wonderful old papsmear and pelvic check.She also checked the heartbeat with a doppler which she found it imeddiately.I am jealous of their doppler as it is heavy duty and sensitive.Oh well the bigger the baby gets the easier it will be for me to find it.I did get permission to go to a wedding that we are supposed to attend on saturday,but I was instructed to take it easy,nothing crazy.As if,I haven't been feeling that good lately plus the stress of the hematoma so there is no way I would even consider anything beyond eating and maybe a couple slow dances with hubby.We have already decided we are not staying long.I have been put on modified bed rest which allows me to do a few more things but no lifting,cleaning or ummm intimate relations with dh. :-( I also have to rest often and take lots of breaks with feet up.The u/s showed that the hematoma had increased in size from 4.7 X 1.7 to 5.2 X 3.0 X 3.0. I do not know why I was not given a third measurement on the first one but I wasn't.I cried yesterday after I found out I felt like I spent 3 weeks on bed rest and it didn't get any better.Being on bedrest has brought on some depression for me, along with the frustration that nothing fits.I have tried searching craigslist and classified in my area but it seems like all the maternity clothes around me are for X-XS-M.I wish I was that small but I'm just not.Where in the world are all the women who wear L-XL maternity?? I have had plenty of time to search the web with no luck on stuff I can afford.I wish I could be out checking yard sales but I am still not allowed a ton of walking.They said they may let me go to the ZOO this summer but DH would most likely have to push me around in a wheelchair.Sorry I am so down but I have been a roller coaster ride these last 3 weeks.I have been crying more often as I miss out on things and people never come to see me.And some barely call it's as if I have just fallen off the earth.I feel forgotten at times.I don't have a lot of family and who I do have just doesn't seem concerned or like I they expect me to MC since I have before.So they don't really acknowledge my PG.Maybe me thinking that, that is what they are thinking is in my head but it sure feels that way.Sometimes I wish I had family that was supportive,that wanted to visit,to drop off a meal,that called after my appointments to see how things are.But I just don't and it hurts and I have plenty of time to think about it as I rest.On the postive the longer I make the better the chance for the baby,they said today that most of the hematomas resolve themselves by 20 weeks.I am 8 weeks away from 20 weeks so I am praying it leaves by then.If it doesn't then it will most likely stick around for the whole pregnancy and possibly cause preterm labor.My next appointment is on Monday and they will order another u/s at that time.I will everyone posted.Also lately my PIO shots have been really hurting me,like to point of crying.My skin on my hips and backside sting all the way across like a horrible sunburn (it won't go away) and when the PIO goes in lately it feels like my skin is going to burst as it burns and aches so bad.I have no idea why they have gotten so much worse expect that maybe my backside has most likely had enough.It is hard to be on bedrest when your backside hurts so much.I just can't seem to get comfortable anymore.Sorry for such a depressed post but I can't shake it right now.