Getting closer

Wow it has been a while since I last posted and I was seriously going to try to not let that happen but here I am.So let's catch up I took my last BCP today TA DA gone.Now I wait for AF let's hope she is not as tardy as last time.I am to call the RE office when she arrives and inform them of my start day and we go from there. I begin stimming on CD day 5.Last time I only required 5 days of stims so hopefully I respond the same.If and this is a big if AF arrives on time and I respond to my meds like I did last time then my tentative FET date will be somewhere around April 27th-29th. Unfortunately this would also place my beta on or right by Mother's Day an aspect that I am not so crazy about but, hey what do you do?? I mean it could be great news but if it's not then well it be kind of a downer. I am sure I do not have to explain.So remember when I said I ordered my meds well it has taken until tonight at 6pm to get it all straightened outIt has also taken about 10 phone calls over the last week.Crazy! Seriously! So finally now they should be shipped out tomorrow.One item is supposed to arrive tomorrow we will see if it does and the rest is due to arrive on Thursday.For some reason my case being was passed back and forth at the mail order specialty pharmacy.They could only fill part of my order at one location,(Texas) and the rest will come from ann arbor in my own state.After phone tag on different days, my case waiting for assignment, them breaking up the order, and then after we thought it was complete and we were reviewing it finding out the RE forgot to call something in and having to wait for that to be added we are finally done Sheesh! So even after all the comments I received on how many to transfer I still was struggling with what to do.There were a few reasons. I thought I had my mind made up after we left the initial consult ( Transfer 3), but then a nurse I know was very opinionated with me on what she thought(2),I was given info through the same nurse on was the embryologist thought(2), so I then asked for more info on the embryo grades that the donors had used when they got PG and the previous couple before as I wanted to compare grades and then I had a nurse present this info to a doctor (it's was the other RE) along with our info he said he felt that our chances of multiples were less than the first doc intially stated (back at 3). Oy! I had never been so confused in my life.I was really struggling with all of this on Sunday night I really was not sure about transferring 3 but was scared to only transfer 2.I really was starting to lean towards transferring only 2 when I got a call the next day from the RE's office it was the nurse. She was calling to tell me that they (my RE and the embryologist) had their review of my case since my transfer was coming up and have decided that only 2 will be transferred. I can not tell you the feeling of relief that passed through my body to not have to make that decision any more.But I just really wish that would have been the answer I got weeks ago when I first asked at our consult so I would not have been stressing this whole time.Either way it is done. So true how God knows just what you need and when you need it.He knew this decision was to big for my heart and he made it for me what a loving father, taking care of his daughter.All of this uncertainty has been part of the reason I have not blogged much as I just could not get into a good calm mental place but now I am finally get there AWWWW relief :) So we are looking at about 2 weeks girls, I am sure it will be here before we know it. I am nervous and scared and excited all in one. This time has been harder and more lonely as we are not telling anyone like before so even though I have a very small support system to begin with, it's even smaller with me not telling hardly anyone. I have only told about 3 people and 1 was completely necessary as they will be watching the boys during transfer.My family does not know and would most likely say something that would upset me or stress me out so this seems to be the wisest move.Plus it is very hard having many people know and ask if it worked afterwards and hounding you for when are you going to take a PG test. So while this does make a very lonely time and make me feel dishonest I am trying to learn from last time and all of these things are stuff I experienced.Well girls I guess that is it for now but I will try harder to blog more. God bless you all!