A decision made ...and it's back ordered

Well I know it has been a while since I posted and partially it is because my appointment for my follow up appointment hit me harder than I expected it took.I actually came to tears sitting in the parking lot with hubby before we went in.But all in all in went well. The doctor too his time with us and tried to figure out what might have happened.He said one reason it might not have worked is that the embryos did not keep splitting after they were thawed. But that is not a positive answer to what happened. As he explained it that is not a guarantee to it working or not working but that is does show them that everything is basically fine with the embies if they can see them them continuing to divide. He said sometimes they don't keep dividing right after they thaw them but that doesn't mean they won't do so after they are transferred.He did look back in my chart as he was talking to us and said that out of the set that made Nanner 2 were continuing to divide after they thawed them. So anyways after talking with him and some careful consideration we have decided to proceed and transfer our last little one. My transfer is set up for August.I will be starting a long lupron cycle (3 weeks of shots) on the 16th of July.I have never done this type of cycle before.I will also be on estrace and progesterone.So here comes the tricky part due to a national lupro.n shortage my lupro.n is back ordered.So even though I ordered it there is no guarantee that my lupro.n will be here in time for my cycle.I am really hoping it will as I would like a smooth cycle this time. We are currently in crunch time for raising funds and have had two yard sales and been selling things through c.raigslist.I know I already said it to you personally but "Thank you" again to those of you who contributed to our chip in, you have no idea how much that meant to us and I will never forget your kindness.We currently need to raise less than $900 to move forward with this FET.I am hoping we get there before the FET gets here.I did create a separate blog for Faceboo.k fundraising if anyone wants to share it as I do not share this blog on FB and hope that everyone understands that.I just like my privacy and place where I can be really honest with you all when I need to without worrying that family or friends will read it all.Anyways girls that is the update for now, I hope you all are well. Hugs to you all...

Follow up appointment today, where to go from here and how to get there

Today is my follow up appointment to discuss where we go from here.This should have been my first u/s appointment :-( I never went in to get my second beta drawn as it was too painful emotionally. I called the RE's and asked if I really had to since I already had a heavy period on the day I was supposed to go. They said they understood and since I already had a period that I did not have to.They also said it is a normal request after a negative first beta.I know that I have not blogged in quite a while, I just have not known what to say.I feel like I am stuck and cannot move forward with a FET with our 1 little embie as the funds are just not there since we had the non responsive cycle and then this failed transfer.Also we have no infertility coverage so it all is out of pocket consults, meds, u/s's, mock transfer, sono, FET's and blood work. All of it. If I fail at something I like to try again. Not being able to try again is unbelievably frustrating and painful.After talking with our donor coordinator on the phone DH and I have discussed what we want to do and what is the best thing to do right now.We are scared that with having one embie it's a long shot and big financial chance to take since it may not make the thaw.I would have gone through medicines and monitoring just to have nothing to transfer at the end.Also transferring just one does not have as high of a chance of a pregnancy. We have decided that the best next step is to get on the donor embryo list so that we can be matched while we are working towards our next transfer.We will still transfer our 1 little embie but maybe we will be matched by the time we can afford our next transfer so if it doesn't make the thaw we can still have a transfer. Unfortunately getting on the list is not cheap either.To make matters worse we found out that the donor embie program is facing another price increase as of July 1st. So that makes me more worried that it will be further out of reach.It is $2,025 just to get on the list to get matched etc.It covers the case fees etc but nothing towards transfer.But if we are paid by July 1st we will be grandfathered in at the lower prices.I know it's a long shot but my best friend in the whole wide world and I were talking and thought it may be a long shot but that I should put a chip in widget on my blog.I did tell her that I did have a donate button on here last year but had no donations so I really don't think it will work.So I have gone back and forth on it in my head as I feel like people think bad of you when you have one up.But let's face it ladies I am desperate and sad so really it can't make things any worse right? So I will be adding the widget and hoping to raise enough money to get on the list. We are also having a yard sale next weekend. But don't have a ton to sell. I am hoping we can at least make a couple hundred if we are lucky at it.I don't want anyone to feel pressured to help but I guess I won't know if anyone wants to unless I make it an option.Just know that you all mean a lot to me even if can't help.Your encouraging words and kind comments are always appreciated.