Feeling sentimental and fear (with slideshow)

Now that my Nanner is officially 1 year old I find myself getting more and more sentimental.I am in awe of the new things he is doing like talking and walking (yes walking sniff, sniff I will be posting video later)He started officially (distances of about 2-3 feet in length) the day after he turned one.But I also find myself a bit sad and missing my tiny baby boy.I have been trying to soak up every moment of his infanthood but that can be hard with three boys.I feel like I blinked and he is a toddler. I guess when you spend years praying and longing for something you just want it to go slower. I know that it doesn't mean I am losing him I just know that as with my older boys that his need for me is short lived and will be replaced with independence which I encourage.But boy does momma love all her baby boys. :-) With him growing up,time passing, and my 34th Birthday approaching this Monday January 10th it is time to think about the next FET which I think it also allows the fear of IF to raise it's ugly head and for me to wonder about my "next baby". Will it work? Will I stay pregnant? Will I have complications again? Will I lose another baby? If I do stay pregnant will the baby be okay? I know the fear is probably normal but infertility really is like a nagging house guest that never ever leaves.... So in honor of Nanner turning one I dug out the old slide show that I made when he was newborn. I took all of these pics myself when he was 4 weeks old.The slide show is set to music and the song has a meaning so turn your speakers on if possible.The song is the one by Celin*e Dio*n that was written for her son after she struggled with infertilty.The slides last the entire song until you see the the blocks that say 1 month again. I know some of you already saw this back when he was a month but I know some new bloggers haven't and also thought you might like to remember how tiny he was with me :-) Enjoy! ((hugs))