The plan for now

First I want to say Thank you so much for all your kind words of support and prayers.You have no idea how much they mean to me.I had no idea there were still so many of you were even still following me but am humbled at the outpouring of love I received.I have been doing a ton of thinking and I am going to try to stick it out for now in the public forum as I am not sure about changing things.I still may go private later, I will give a heads up of I do.( I really don't like change that well) I also have watched others go private and lose touch with everyone and and I really don't want that. I may consider somewhere down the road when the time it right doing some password protected posts and just have readers email for the password.I am still struggling with putting everything out there you know. I have watched other bloggers do that and saw what happened to them. They had family and friends stumble upon their blogs and dealt with the backlash, dealt with nasty comments,and in general kinda put themselves out there to be scrutinized.I am a private person of sorts and also a protective person of my children so I feel as of now I shall say nothing. I do want you my dear readers to know that my children are all well and happy and that it has nothing to do with them.I am still struggling inside to whether and when to share as I know you wonderful women are such a source of strength and inspiration and I know if anyone can help me through this it is all of YOU! To Jen I am sorry I have not called you back yet I just haven't been in a place to talk. I am so sorry but thank you so much for thinking of me, it meant a lot! I do want to atleast leave you with some cute and current pics of the boys ok so semi current they are from Halloween.Mason was a monkey of course and Gavin and Ayden were dinosaurs.