Our transfer day with pics! And today is our 3 year anniversary!

The day of our transfer was a beautiful morning.We got up at 7AM and left the house by 7:30AM.We arrived at our RE's office 10 minutes before 8:30 AM which was the time I was told to be there so we could be ready for our 9AM transfer.I was wearing my panties that I purchased months before for our transfer and we had our special post transfer snacks with us.


Our post transfer snowflake themed snacks,we had snowflake oreos with our last FET too.






My snowflake panties purchased for transfer day :-)



Beautiful day for our transfer!



Us on our way to the RE's



Me before going inside



After getting ready and remembering all of you!



Getting ready in the transfer room, I look a bit nervous :-)



Ultrasound started



Our transfer as it occurs (thems babies in there :-)



Being wheeled out afterwards




A note to our babies



Our beautiful babies!



Showing some love



Proud daddy!



Enjoying our cookies





Our note to our babies



The transfer went very smoothly.I was happy and surprised when they said both made the thaw and that we still had one frozen. The prayers worked girls! After having to stay there for an hour after transfer we were allowed to leave. I emptied my very uncomfortable bladder got dressed and we were on our way. We stopped by the same panera to grab food to go just like last time. We even ordered the same meals as last time and that part wasn't even on purpose lol.I ate in the car with my seat reclined and my feet on the dash :-) Just like last time. And then we tackled the hour drive home.I then began my bed rest which was hard to do when you feel like you should be doing things around the house. DH took 2 days off to be with me for the transfer and bed rest.Nanner was really struggling with why momma couldn't pick him up. He cried a lot. I had DH hand to me but he really wanted me up playing with him and carrying him around on my hip like I usually do. I am still on lifting restrictions (10 lbs) but that has been hard to adhere to since Nanner weighs 26 pounds. I only lift him from his crib and into it. I have him walk and hold his hand when I want to bring in his room for nap. DH does all of the lifting after he gets home from work.So there you have it finally an update. Sorry it has taken so long but I have been kinda struggling in the TWW. I didn't think it would get to me but it has.It has been hard to not think about the possibility of being PG again.At the same time I am scared to get my hopes up.I go from being sad, happy, stressed, excited and numb.I will most likely POAS but am unsure of when I will.Since I did not have to do a trigger shot there should not be a chance of a false BFP right? And now for the information that I know all of you were hoping to read and of course it is the last part of my post and that is my beta is on friday the 27th.So only about 3 days away! In other news our 3 year wedding anniversary is today the 24th! Well I guess that is it for now, take care girls. ((hugs)) Thank you for all your supportive comments on my last post.

Our update

They both survived the thaw and one remains frozen. The transfer went great and I am now on my strict bed rest.Thank you so much for all of the encouragements and prayers they mean so much.I will post a complete update including pictures soon. God bless you all!

Tommorow is the day!!!

My transfer is set for 9am tomorrow but I have to be there at 8:30am.Please pray for us that we don't lose any embies in the thaw,that we will have a smooth transfer and a positive outcome at beta time.I am not really nervous right now but maybe I will be tomorrow, until I take the valium that is lol.I have been trying to have less stress and it seems to be working.I went and saw bridesmaids last night with a friend and laughed so hard that I cried and and screamed with laughter. It has to be one of the funniest movies I have seen in a very long time. I seriously did not want it to end and was disappointed when it did. It was a great girls night out movie and highly recommend it if you are not too sensitive to language and dirty jokes and comments etc in movies.For some it may be offensive but it's not as bad as most comedies that are aimed at men.Well girls this is it, tomorrow will be here before I know it.Babies mommy and daddy are coming to get you, we love you already.

Counting down 2 days to go

Only 2 days stand between me and our FET.I am supposed to get a call tomorrow with the time.I started my progesterone today and decreased my estrace as directed.I have been busy getting things done around here since I will be on 48 hours strict bed rest after. We are going to pick up some groceries etc tonight. I am getting more excited as it gets closer but also nervous.We had a nice getaway last weekend with the boys. We stayed at a hotel that is just over an hour away that has an indoor pool and water slide. The boys loved it and we had a wonderful family trip. We also went for a long walk at the state park there.It was short and sweet but hubby had to work on Saturday so we couldn't leave until that afternoon.We plan to go again. I will be posting pics when I get a chance.The week before we also celebrated my middle sons 6 birthday by going to crazy bounce which is a place with inflatables. We all had a blast. I will post pics of that too.I have been trying to do things that I otherwise would not be able to if I had my FET on time. That has been my way of seeing the bright side of things. I was able to go down the water slide with my boys and crawl and bounce with them at the bounce place it was great. It also took my mind off our canceled FET.Hope you are all doing well!

My appointment yesterday and an update!

I had my u/s appointment yesterday and it went well.They said they like your lining to be at least a 8 at that point and my was 7.8. Which my u/s was done before my higher daily dose of estrace had a chance to kick in as I took it before I left for my appointment.They said it was fine and have no concerns that it will continue to get thicker.While she was doing my u/s she checked my ovaries and the right was quiet like they wanted but my left still had the follies from before but as a surprise to all of us it had a good sized follie in it.It was measuring 15mm and they are considered ready at 18-20mm. They were surprised that it had done that considering I had stopped the stims and was not responding to them before.At first the nurse said it may complicate my cycle and change things.But after she came back from talking to the doctor she said that he said it was no problem because the follie would be ready close to transfer so it would not affect things.So here I am with a real date for my FET,it is officially less than a week away.DH asked me if I was excited as we were walking out of the RE's office and I am but it feels a bit unreal after all the hang ups.I am now done with monitoring and will continue my estrace and will be adding in progesterone on the 13th.On the 14th I start my medrol and tetracycline while also continuing my estrace.My transfer date is set for Monday the 16th.They are calling me on the 14th with the actual time for my transfer.I also wanted to answer the question that some of you have asked about me stimming to make a follie before,I am going to link back to the explanation that I posted before so I don't have to type it all again.I thank you for your concern and questions. I love getting questions from all of you and love that you take the time to comment it means a lot to me. :-) I did ask the nurse about why they chose the stimming over the estrace cycle and she said they are one of the only offices that do that and that studies have shown them to be equally effective.She didn't get too much deeper into it than that.Here's the link to my previous post (previous stimming follie post) On a totally different subject I so need to post some pics and catch you all up on what we have been up to that is non fertility related.I will try to get to that soon.:-)

Where we go from here...and question for all of you

Sorry I have not posted sooner but I have been digesting our cancellation and some of the other things that go with it. Let me try to catch everyone up on what's going on. First and foremost I have to say with all of the stuff that has been happening in this cycle with my RE's office etc that this has been such a stressful cycle. If you have read my previous posts then you know that there has been more than a few hang ups and I thought that was all of them until I went in to see my RE on April 26th.The appointment started out bad with them not being able to draw blood from me,they had 2 people try and couldn't get any. So they had me move on to my u/s portion of my appointment just to find out that I had not been responding to the stim meds at all.Ugh! So then the nurse said that she needed to show my results to the doctor in order to get a new dose for the stims etc.She then promised to call me and said she would FOR SURE call me this afternoon.So we left and waited for the call. It started getting later but I know that they sometimes call after hours so I didn't sweat it too bad until it got to be 4:30pm and there was no call.At that point I tried calling the office and the phones were off and said they were closed.I still held out hope that they would be calling as I have gotten calls after 5pm before but no later than 5:15.So I thought just maybe they were just busy calling other patients and would be calling shortly. Well my shot was due at 6pm so as it got to be 5pm and there was no call I was anxious to say the least. We ended up calling their emergency number and had the answering service contact the doctor we let them know what was going on and when my shot was due etc and they said they would pass the message on to the doctor. So we waited and waited, 6pm came and went no call and then 6:30pm still no call. We didn't get a return call until 7pm.At which the point the doctor who obviously did not have my chart seemed semi annoyed that he was disturbed for this. He then said based on what I said he would up my dose temporarily.I was then told I should call the office between 1pm-2pm the next day to get further instructions.So I did do so the next day. I must say though there was no a real tone of apology after he found out that I had not be called back with instructions just kind of well it shouldn't happen but sometimes it does. And he went on to say they literally make 100's of phone calls a day and it is a lot for the nurses to keep up with. I felt like it was just explained away.I felt forgotten..Either way I did up my dose for the three days as instructed and I then went to my Friday appointment on the 29th of April.At that appointment they were going to see if I had made any progress on the higher dose. I had been informed by the nurse when I called them the day after they forgot me that I was looking at a possible cancellation if I did not respond as needed by that Friday. But she did say that may try a different route and I would have to wait and see the doctor on Friday.When I got there I asked them not to draw my blood until after my u/s as it would be a waste of money if the cycle could just be canceled anyways. They let me wait to have it drawn and I was glad I did as the u/s showed no change at all. After 9 days of stims Nada.(no real increase in the size of my follies and very thin lining) I find it so confusing that what worked last time had no effect on me at all. Simply crazy! So then they had us sit down with the doctor (not our doctor it was his partner) He seemed very concerned and understanding. He took the time to answer all my questions.I have seen him before actually most of this cycle and he did my mock/sono from before and my u/s that day.I have seen him more than my doc. I didn't use to care for him that much but I have to say that he has grown on me and that he seems more on top of things than my current doc.Maybe he can do the transfer if I ask the office??? Don't get me wrong my current RE is very nice but almost too nice to the point of being condescending.Sometimes he comes off kinda fake and very rushed, he used to be more genuine acting and took time with you, that is what drew me to him and his office originally. Also he is still building his practice larger and sometimes I feel like in doing so the office has lost that closeness and support it used to offer.I just think he is spread to thin and they have gotten too big.Anyway as we sat there with the other RE he explained that we would be switching meds and would still be using this cycle. They have decided to put me on an estrace only cycle.They are trying to build up my lining.The pros of doing this are we don't have to completely wait for a new cycle but I do have to be on it for 18 days which really is about as long as waiting for a my next cycle.Another pro no more shots for now.Also it is very cheap and available on most stores $4.00 RX lists.Yet another good thing about it is we know exactly when our FET will be, provided this works. It will be on the 16th of May.Which does make it a bit easier for planning purposes etc.I have to go back in on the 9th for a u/s and b/w to see if it is working so please pray for me that it is. I have to admit that I am a bit nervous and scared that this will not work as this is not the protocol that we used when we were successful.The Re did say that they use this one too and it works but the other is more natural.So I guess my question to all you that have done an FET or know someone who has were they successful doing the estrace only protocol?? I am trying to let go and think THIS WILL WORK but all the issues I had in my previous cycle make that hard.When I did talk to the nurse the day after they forgot me she did say stress could play a large factor in whether someone responds or responds well to meds.But that other factors are unknown. Well if they didn't want me to be stressed then maybe they should stop stressing me out,just a thought. ;-p There have been more issues then I have posted about but I just didn't feel like posting about them when the happened because I was really trying to let them go. In hindsight maybe I should have as it would have gotten them out and maybe made me feel better.One issue I had was realizing my favorite nurse from last time had become a product of her office. She became less caring, less personal and a bit snippy at times.We were almost like friends before (chatting on the phone for the sake of chatting after hours,she even left a note for me on transfer day since she was not working that day,I have given her cards, candy etc just because she was so supportive then) but I see two years have changed her.That made me sad :-( well girls I think that is about it for now, I will know more on Monday after my appointment.

And the result is....

Cancelled, I will post some more about what happened and what our plan will be next but tonight I am tired and feeling pretty ill from coming off those meds. Queezy, headaches and just plain yuckiness.

In 9 hours I find out if our cycle is cancelled...

I haven't blogged much as I have a lot going on but I will sum it up for now by saying that I have an appointment in 9 hours and that is when we will find out if this cycle will be cancelled. I was told I have a 50% chance of this happening. :-( I will post the full story later along will some other stuff that happened.

Needle dilemma ,appt update and approx FET date

Well I had my first U/S on Tuesday and it went well. No cysts or any other concerns. I also was able to get a med/cycle chart which has been so much nicer.Thank you those of you who commented on your concern that I should talk to the office and get things straightened out, which I did.I actually called the office on my way there to my appointment(it's about an hour drive) and asked if they would be able to have a chart ready for me and also discussed my concerns.While my concerns were indeed heard they were also kinda of explained away. The nurse did apologize that I didn't have my med chart sooner etc but also said she thinks what happened it that they do not have anyone else on a lupron flare and that is not a normal protocol used so the other nurses must have not really registered that I would need my meds sooner and need my med chart sooner. They were treating me like a normal patient that could wait until after their first u/s forgetting that I start stimming before my first u/s Either way I am set now. At least I thought I was until today we were going to do my lupron flare shot and I unrolled the roll of needles and I realized that there was NO WAY I was going to have enough to get me through until my next u/s and now we hit a holiday weekend. UGH! The specialty pharmacy apparently only sends 14 needles with that particular med and I use it twice a day. I have already been on it since last Monday and my next Appointment was not until Tuesday.I will be on it until my HCG trigger shot so I really have no idea how many needles I will end up using.More than 14 though...So I called the specialty pharmacy and they said they could send me more needles and of course charge me to do so, really? really?? But they couldn't get them to me until Tuesday afternoon due to the weekend. I was like umm that would be about 3 shots too late, even though I had just told her I needed it by Monday.I know it isn't completely their fault as my office had no instructions on the meds and I didn't know how many needles to expect it to come with it when it arrived as I did not have my med chart so I could not even estimate how many I needed.So I started to try to think of ways to get needles...Do I know any diabetics? Anyone in the medical field?? Can I reuse a needle, how bad would be really?? Sad,sad,sad. Not how I thought I would spend my Friday.In case anyone out there doesn't know you can not just buy needles at a pharmacy you have to have a prescription, so my options were limited. I ended up calling my RE's office even though I figured they would be closed (due to Good Friday) I got the nurses voicemail and to my surprise she indeed called me back I asked her to call me in a script locally for needles and she did, 5 days more worth.Not sure if that will be enough but for now it gets me through until I get in for my appointment on Tuesday.I go in for a u/s and a blood draw.So I am hoping for good news.Last time I only had to stim long enough to get me to that first u/s and bloodwork and I was ready to go.About 6 days total. But I am scared this time that will different.I am currently on day 4 of follistim and day 6 of luprolide. A total of 3 shots daily except today I got an extra poke of follistim because DH forget to up the dose and we had to add it in a another shot."sigh" I am on CD 8. When I went to my appointment on Tuesday they estimated that if everything went as planned I would have an approximate FET date of April 30th. But of course that is approximate.Anyways I am not even going to ask can it get any worse as far as things going wrong because I know it can. I am trying to not let it get to me.Maybe it all will make a great story to tell our baby someday on hard it was to get ready to go bring them home.So next on my plate is Easter day, we have a small gathering at my mom's that day and no one knows we are going through this but we will have at least 1 possibly 2 shots that we will have to do. Any ideas how to pull that off. I have DH do them as I just cannot for the life of me bring myself to stab myself, I know I am a wimp but there is just something about shoving a sharp piece of metal in my own skin that makes me flinch.So if we both disappear into the bathroom are people going to have hokey thoughts? lol Will they assume we are having a disagreement? :-) I don't know I just hate having to hide this it sucks. And how in the world do I smuggle a cooler into Easter with out looking like a drunk?? :-) lol Well girls It's time for my shot 3am so I need to go and then I can go to bed.Take care everyone and Happy Easter!

AF arrived, 2 lupron shots down and an appt today

Let me just start out by saying it has been the most unorganized cycle I have ever had. The office never sent me a med/cycle/plan calender so I am kinda just piecing info together.UGH Well AF arrived on Saturday so that was officially CD 1 so here we go! Previous to this my only instructions I had received from the office was to call when my AF arrived.Well it arrived on Saturday and they are closed so I couldn't call. But I did call call today. When I called I did not get a real person cause I never do and left a message. I had a phone call returned about 2 hours later.On the call the nurse very casually asked me if I had indeed started my lupron this morning , I was like um no I had no idea I was even supposed to.I told her I don't even have a med schedule. So there goes shot number 1 down the drain.Apparently I was supposed to start them on CD 3 which would have been today but they have to be 12 hours apart so it was to late by the time she called back because she wanted the other given at a specific time. I am just thinking it would have been WONDERFUL if some one had bothered to go over my meds and mailed a plan to me with doses.(as my lupron was not even marked with it,it said ask doctor) Needless to say my day has been craptasic. But I am trying to pull it out of feeling like that and separate the experience from the goal, but my fear it the people/experience could compromise the goal.I feel like they never even considered "what if she gets her AF on the weekend?" Had no plans etc.At least they did not have me prepared for it. The greatest kicker of all of it was the nurse seemed a little concerned to whether I even had my meds yet and for good reason, she or whomever the last nurse I talked to had told me to tell the mail order pharmacy that I needed them by the 20th.Lucky for me I am not a sit around wait to get this done kinda girl so I pressed them for a week to fix things and told them I needed them by the 14th and 15th because I felt better knowing they were here.So they arrived only 3-4 days before I needed them. If I had listened to the nurse I would have no meds right now and no lupron to even do my shots.This whole experience has been a let down this time it's like they just are less personal or don't care like they used to.I start my follistim on the 19th and am going for my baseline u/s today in the afternoon.I am so sorry everyone for seeming so down lately I know it will pass but I just am frustrated and feeling negative and blue when in reality I should be feeling so excited. I need to work on that or find a way to change it.Anyways hugs to you all. It is just past 3 am and due to our funky schedule DH is just about to give me another shot.Before he leaves for work gulp! Yay shots! not really :-(

Getting closer

Wow it has been a while since I last posted and I was seriously going to try to not let that happen but here I am.So let's catch up I took my last BCP today TA DA gone.Now I wait for AF let's hope she is not as tardy as last time.I am to call the RE office when she arrives and inform them of my start day and we go from there. I begin stimming on CD day 5.Last time I only required 5 days of stims so hopefully I respond the same.If and this is a big if AF arrives on time and I respond to my meds like I did last time then my tentative FET date will be somewhere around April 27th-29th. Unfortunately this would also place my beta on or right by Mother's Day an aspect that I am not so crazy about but, hey what do you do?? I mean it could be great news but if it's not then well it be kind of a downer. I am sure I do not have to explain.So remember when I said I ordered my meds well it has taken until tonight at 6pm to get it all straightened outIt has also taken about 10 phone calls over the last week.Crazy! Seriously! So finally now they should be shipped out tomorrow.One item is supposed to arrive tomorrow we will see if it does and the rest is due to arrive on Thursday.For some reason my case being was passed back and forth at the mail order specialty pharmacy.They could only fill part of my order at one location,(Texas) and the rest will come from ann arbor in my own state.After phone tag on different days, my case waiting for assignment, them breaking up the order, and then after we thought it was complete and we were reviewing it finding out the RE forgot to call something in and having to wait for that to be added we are finally done Sheesh! So even after all the comments I received on how many to transfer I still was struggling with what to do.There were a few reasons. I thought I had my mind made up after we left the initial consult ( Transfer 3), but then a nurse I know was very opinionated with me on what she thought(2),I was given info through the same nurse on was the embryologist thought(2), so I then asked for more info on the embryo grades that the donors had used when they got PG and the previous couple before as I wanted to compare grades and then I had a nurse present this info to a doctor (it's was the other RE) along with our info he said he felt that our chances of multiples were less than the first doc intially stated (back at 3). Oy! I had never been so confused in my life.I was really struggling with all of this on Sunday night I really was not sure about transferring 3 but was scared to only transfer 2.I really was starting to lean towards transferring only 2 when I got a call the next day from the RE's office it was the nurse. She was calling to tell me that they (my RE and the embryologist) had their review of my case since my transfer was coming up and have decided that only 2 will be transferred. I can not tell you the feeling of relief that passed through my body to not have to make that decision any more.But I just really wish that would have been the answer I got weeks ago when I first asked at our consult so I would not have been stressing this whole time.Either way it is done. So true how God knows just what you need and when you need it.He knew this decision was to big for my heart and he made it for me what a loving father, taking care of his daughter.All of this uncertainty has been part of the reason I have not blogged much as I just could not get into a good calm mental place but now I am finally get there AWWWW relief :) So we are looking at about 2 weeks girls, I am sure it will be here before we know it. I am nervous and scared and excited all in one. This time has been harder and more lonely as we are not telling anyone like before so even though I have a very small support system to begin with, it's even smaller with me not telling hardly anyone. I have only told about 3 people and 1 was completely necessary as they will be watching the boys during transfer.My family does not know and would most likely say something that would upset me or stress me out so this seems to be the wisest move.Plus it is very hard having many people know and ask if it worked afterwards and hounding you for when are you going to take a PG test. So while this does make a very lonely time and make me feel dishonest I am trying to learn from last time and all of these things are stuff I experienced.Well girls I guess that is it for now but I will try harder to blog more. God bless you all!

Ordered meds and the answer to the follie question

I ordered my meds today and am currently on bcp pill 11. That means I have 6 more to go. I wanted to answer of couple of you that had questions regarding why they want me to produce a follicle if I am using donor embryos. :-) So here goes.They want me to produce at least 1 follicle because at my clinic they are trying to replicate the natural cycle that a women's body would go through if she got PG on her own.I know at some clinics others are given transfer dates ahead of time and they know when they will be having their FET. Well because of the way my clinic does it,I do not. They go by my body and cycle and what all monitoring tells them. They decide when to transfer after I have responded to stims enough to make a 1 good follie and after my lining is looking good etc. I kinda liken it to double dutch jump rope they are waiting, watching and ready to jump in to action. Ready for that moment when my body would have ovulated and they time that with the transfer so that my body indeed thinks that the embies trying to implant are not just there by accident but that I ovulated and created them therefore my body now needs to get busy taking care of them and nurturing them ;-)This is the same protocol as last time so and is just the way they do things. Doesn't make any other RE's way wrong just is what my clinic likes to do and finds works for them.Any more questions please feel free to ask :-) I love hearing from all of you.

Mock and sono update along with a tenative plan

I had my mock transfer and sono today. They both went well but again were painful as I have a very difficult cervix.I was told everything looked good and that it went smoothly. He did tell me something that I was not aware of and that was that my cervix had torn during childbirth. I find it a tad bit annoying that no one EVER mentioned that to me.It would have been nice to know.And it also explains some of the intense pain I experienced for so long after I gave birth. Long after everyone kept saying that it shouldn't hurt that much still. I chalked it up to everyone is an individual and recovery time is different and that I had torn and had stitches sooo...But the pain I felt was not surface pain it was deep inside so NOW I know why.I am hoping that this in no way will affect me carrying a baby to term. My RE didn't seem overly concerned so I am guessing it will be okay. Just saying it would have been nice if someone felt the need to tell me.I probably should not be sharing this but while I was talking to him about the lack of knowledge about my torn cervix I mentioned that I had a horrible birth experience (My birth experience post part 1), part 2, part 3 and that the rotten resident doctor that delivered nanner was the one who never told me about it.I told him a bit about my experience and he said "wow, who did you have?" I then told him the name. He said "ohhhh...." I detected sympathy and a look of knowing came across his face. I then said you must know him and he said "yes he spent a month with us here,I normally don't say anything about other doctors but he is a doofus" He went on to tell me that the man had switched careers midlife and decided that he no longer wanted to be an engineer and decided at the of age late 40's to go into medicine.(lucky me) Unfortunately he was a much better engineer then doctor and he should have probably stayed one. You would think finding this all out would really upset me but hearing a doctor that I respect call him a doofus gave me some closure that I really, really needed.I always had that nagging feeling that all the stuff I felt about that guy was in my head and that maybe DH was just agreeing with me to make me happy.(Hey it happens) But to hear that someone else had the exact same opinion of him ,maybe not quite as bad as me since I actually gave birth with this man,but it healed my heart and gave me the peace and courage that if I get PG again that it doesn't have to be that bad as what are the chances that I will get an engineer to deliver my baby again right???? Not to mention I asked my doctor if he was still around and he said to the best of his knowledge he is now back in Utah where he came from.(So sorry for you girls in Utah) So moving on I am on day day 3 of BCP's and they are giving me horrible headaches and making me nauseous everyday since I started taking them. Has anyone else experienced this on them. I am hoping it will pass. I am on lo seasonique.

My meds that I will have to get for this cycle are or am currently using are

BCPS-Taking currently and will continue for 17 days total, I have 14 left to go.

Valium-Took today for mock and sono and will get a another RX for the FET

Tetracycline-Took today for mock and sono and will get another RX for the FET

Follistim- Have not purchased yet, this is started about CD 5 of my next period and continued until they get at least one good follie.


Lupron -Have not purchased yet,this was used last time to help keep things quiet as I tend to get ovarian cysts.I believe it was given for a few days before follistim was started last time.

HCG trigger shot- Have not purchased yet, this is given about 4 days before FET

Medrol-Have not purchased yet, this is taken 2 days before FET

Progesterone/prometrium-Have not purchased yet, this I will start 2 days before the FET and continue until my beta or until 11 weeks PG

I did use estrogen last time but they have discontinued it as part of their protocol after studies have shown there was no effect in increased pregnancy outcomes.So no estrogen this time.

I am bit scared to see how much the meds come to (we don't have IF coverage)I am hoping they have come down in price in the last year and a half or so.Hey a girl can dream can't she :-) We turned in the rest of our paperwork today and now the mock and sono are completed.I am on day 3 soo to be day 4 of BCP's and that is where I am at. Now we wait for my next AF.I can't believe I am really doing this, I am scared and exciting all in one.

Finally!

So AF arrived friday morning (CD 43) with quite a bang.While I am glad she came finally I am not digging how bad she is acting. The pain is no fun at all.I called the Re's and told them and I am now scheduled for my mock/sono on Tuesday the 29th of march next week. I also am supposed to start my BCP's this Sunday. Apparently AF came just late enough but too early for us to use this cycle for "the" cycle so my transfer will be with my next period. The nurse did say I could shorten the BCP's and only take them for 17 days in order to shorten things up a bit if I want.So there you have it here I go... P.s Thank you Marilyn for the AF rain dance you did for me lol I think it worked!! Your too funny girl but atleast you made me laugh and that was what I needed:-)

An update on things

So still no AF, yup really no AF.I have no idea where in the world she is.And yes I have taken 2 HPT's spaced 4 days apart.So no chance of a surprise, but I never really thought that was a possibility anyways. So at first I was thinking AF being late was a bad thing since it would delay my transfer and make it so I would not make my April goal for a transfer. But if she isn't too much later it could be a good thing.See they were not using this cycle for my transfer anyways only for my mock and sono.But after I talked to the nurse she said that if my AF gets here late but obviously not too late we can use it for my transfer. Which would move my transfer up from late April/early may to early/mid April.So I am trying to see this as a good thing. It also means that I do not have to take BCP's.They were going to use those to control my cycle before.I am currently on CD 40. I am normally a 27 to 28 cycle girl so this is crazy.I think the longest I have had between is 42 days and that was after I had Nanner and several months ago. I have not recently lost anymore weight, started exercising etc.I have even stopped really thinking about it hoping that would help.That is why I haven't blogged until now.We did have our required counseling appointment last week and that went good.We turned in all but one of our paper works as it got left at home but they said it was fine to bring it to our sono/ mock and have them witness it then.In other updates my oldest "G" turned eight last week I can't believe how big he is getting.Time moves so fast.Nanner is talking up a storm and running like crazy.He is big on using his manners lately.And my middle son "A" who is 5 soon to be 6 warms my heart with his ever growing thoughtfulness. Well girls that is where I am for now, kinda in the middle of nowhere.So I guess I will getting going so I can hurry up and wait some more :-)