For the woman who contacted me

I received an email recently from a woman looking to talk with me about embryo adoption who said she was referred to me by a friend, I am hoping that she will read this as I am completely unable to find her email.I have been using a wireless connection and it has been sketchy lately and been dropping frequently.During one of these drops I think your email got lost after I had already opened it to read it. I now can not find it all. I am not sure what happened to it. I did get remote assistance from my computer guy and maybe he accidentally lost it while cleaning out and restoring some stuff while I was having troubles. Either way I am very anxious to get back to you and hoping that you resend it.I just wanted to let you know I have not forgotten you.

Estimated FET

I called my RE's office on Friday and the lady that schedules the FET's was out so I had to leave a message. She called me back today and I officially paid the deposit ($275.00) to get on the schedule and hold a place for my FET. It is tentatively going to be in late April.At least that is what the lady was guessing by the date of my last AF so we will see.So now all we do is wait.I am supposed to call them the first day of my next AF so we can schedule my mock and sono. So here I go girls this is really happening.... :-)

My consult today, what do you think? *Updated at bottom*

I had my consult today and I asked all the questions I needed to ask, I think? :-) I have been kinda of out of it due to being sick.We got dumped on by a bunch of snow last night, 7-8 inches so it made the travel to our RE a bit more difficult today. It is normally about 40-45 minutes in good weather but it took us over an hour.We discussed the quality of the embryos,which all three are even better than the ones that created Nanner, but we know that quality isn't everything.Timing,your body and God have a lot to do with it too.So I know that there is no guarantees this will work.I did ask how many he recommends we transfer and he said at least 2 and that the 3rd was up to us if we were willing to accept the chance of multiples.DH and I have been discussing this and this where some of our thoughts are on this.I am going to try to give you girls the facts so that you can help weigh in and tell me what you think we should do.

-RE says risks for multiples is low if we put in all three but none the less it is a risk he said it is 5-10% for triplets and 10-20% for twins

-We could lose embryos in the thaw therefore making this a non issue but we need to know what we want ahead of time

-RE made a point to say that we transferred 3 last time and only ended up with 1 baby and said that is pretty typical for a frozen transfer

-We know that we are pretty sure that this is it for us this year that we can not afford to do another transfer if this does not work, so the 1 remaining embryo could be sitting there frozen for another year or more

-But if it does work the 1 remaing embryo could still be sitting there for a year or more

-If we do not transfer all 3 embies that will leave us with 1 embie in storage (and hefty storage fees to pay), that may or may not make the thaw next time and may or may not become a baby.But it most certainly does not give us much to work with in the event of trying again.Even if we were able to afford to get on the list and matched again our clinic does not mix embies (which I am glad for since it allows me to know which profile belongs to the baby I may be carrying) which means we would have to try with one embie total providing it made the thaw, before we could proceed with new embies.(wow I am hearing $$$)

-I once read that for each embie transferred you have about a 30% chance of becoming pregnant so it would stand to reason that with 3 your chance is good.So that works out to 90% chance respectively.

-Our current embies are not blasts they are a 4 cell grade 1,a 2 cell grade 1 and a 3 cell grade 2+ (our previous set that made Nanner was a 7 cell grade 2,a 4 cell grade 2 and a 6 cell grade 3, He said the grade 3 embie was pretty bad but you never know that could be the one that made Nanner :-) Our current set is higher quality than our previous. I know different clinics have different rating systems, I guess grade 1 is the highest and and a 2+ is about equal to a 1 it's like getting a B+ in school almost an A but not quite. Both sets of embies were and are sets of three.

-There is a chance that this won't even work and this is all for nothing :-( I know I shouldn't think like that,but really we could put all 3 in and none take that's the reality.

-This set is not a genetic set to the one that made Nanner so you can not compare outcome except that I was able to carry a pregnancy finally....

-Here is the background on the previous parents and recipient:
Set began as 10,
Genetic parents transferred 1 =one live birth
First recipient transferred 2 =low positive preg test no live birth
First recipient transferred 3 =2 babies live birth for both
1 embryo was lost in thawing process by one of the previous parents
3 left in storage for us :-)


So there you have some of the facts I am not sure if I have left anything out that would help you to help me make a decision if I have and anyone has any questions please let me know.DH said he is ultimately ok with transferring all 3 but it is my body and and I have the final say.I just want to do the right thing and I also am scared that I will make the wrong decision and it won't work.Now as far as time frame goes for when we might do this cause I know you are all wondering that :-) The RE said we could do as early as a April or May transfer if we get on the schedule.So I am thinking that over as I didn't think I would do another transfer in April but now I am reconsidering it (Marilyn tell Tim thanks for that one lol).So here we are digesting our appointment today and deciding where to go from here.I am going to be keeping closer track of what is spent this time total for when people email and ask me so that I can tell them.We do not have fertility coverage so ours may be higher than some but it will give an idea for those of you just beginning this journey.Today's visit just to talk to the doctor $189.00 out of pocket.Ouch! But what you gonna do? :-) Well that's it for now girls thank you for your well wishes for me and Nanner they are greatly appreciated, ((hugs)) to you all...

Update -To answer your question Tammy yes they are all in separate straws:-)

-Our office said that multicells tend to make the thaw better than blasts due to their lesser stage of development.

-Also all 3 of our previous embryos from Nanners set made the thaw.

-It was thought by my OBGYN that I was PG with twins but it got missed until I had my bleed/SCH at 9 weeks 1 day (there is an entry in blog about it) at which time I lost one so it is possible that 2 initially took.But no one will ever know for sure.

-I/we are not scared of twins/multiples per se just of complications during PG and to the babies.

-I have so LOVED hearing from all of you it has been wonderful to get your input all of you are WONDERFUL!!! Thank you so much it so appreciated! I sat and read all of your comments to DH :-)

Our consult for our next FET is here

Seems like I just made the appointment and was worried how far off it was and now it is here.I am excited however I am so sick so it dampens the mood a bit.I did write down my questions so my feverish brain doesn't forget what I wanted to know :-) My appointment is at 9:40 am Monday and I will be updating on here as soon as I am able.I will be discussing the quality of our embies,how many they think we should transfer,approx time frame for our FET and basically where we go from here to name a few things.So there it is for now girls I will update when I know more.

And the winner of the monitor is.....

Nanner drew the winning name today out of his cement mixer truck :-) Even though he is under the weather. The poor little guy came down yesterday with vomiting,diarrhea and has been running a fever.At it's highest today it was 101.4 but he didn't let that stop him from his official duty of picking the winner. But that will explain why he was less than smiles on the video.He still had fun doing it and continued drawing them all and putting back over and over again after we were all done lol Watch the video below for the winner,have a wonderful Saturday everyone!

My clear plan/clear blue fertility monitor giveaway is still going on

I have decided not to draw a name until Saturday February 19th due to multiple people being interested and requests still coming in.And I want to give anyone who may not have heard about it a chance to get in on it.So there you have it an official name drawing date. I will have "Nanner" draw the name because at 14 months he is as random as they come these days. Lets just hope he doesn't eat it before I can read it. LOL. So if anyone else is interested please leave a comment and a way to contact you if it doesn't link back to your blog or leave me a personal email if you would rather, my email is on my blog. My email is on the right hand side if you scroll down a little bit plus it is in my blogger profile.Take care girls :-)

Could anyone out there use this?? I am giving it away :-)

I have been in a clean out mood lately. And I came acrossed my clear plan/clear blue fertility monitor.I of course used this with no luck as my issues were so much larger than this little device could help me with.But I did spend a good chunk of change on it and really hate to see it go to waste just sitting around.I will never ever use it or need it again so it seems silly to hold on it.It is the same as the clear blue monitor they just changed the name on them about hmmm maybe 4-5 years ago. It works great! My body just doesn't :-( So if one of my readers thinks they may be able to give it a good home please let me know.As I am giving it away for free. You can either email me or leave me a comment. If I get more than one request for it I will be drawing a name.This is a link to a an old post in which it is pictured. You can buy replacement test sticks for it at drug.storecom, amaz.on,e.bay and a few other places you just have to search online.The monitor has already been cleaned and wiped down with alcohol just for your peace of mind :-P Hugs to my girls, love hearing from you and have been looking back at old posts and comments remembering some of you that I haven't heard from in FOREVER!! MISS YOU!!

Consult appointment for next FET is scheduled

Well I called my RE's office this week and made my consultation appointment.I could hardly believe it when they said they were scheduled out a month just to get in for a consult.So I took first available which was a month out.I ended up having to call the office back later that day for something I forgot to ask and got lucky as there was a cancellation so I got in 1 week earlier.Thank goodness for forgetting to ask questions the first time around :-)So my consult appointment is set for February 21st at 9:40 AM. We will be discussing our game plan and what we need to do to get the ball rolling in order to proceed with our next transfer.I did find out that they had yet another price increase.Ouch!!Just since last summer when I called.They have had a few since we got matched in December 2008.Just to give you an idea the price to get matched for our first was $800.00 ( year 2008) that does not include monitoring,labs, ultrasounds, meds,or transfer it is just the matching fee.It then went up to $1,800 (2009) and I was informed it again went up just this past summer to $2,225(2010).They have not had their price increase for 2011 yet but I am told it usually happens in the summer. Umm... ok, no pressure here...So we are hoping to get in before things go up yet again.Because the price increases did not just affect the matching fees it affects all the fees including mock transfers,hysto sono,(which I am due for both of those)u/s's,transfers etc. All fee's. While we don't necessarily need to get matched again, we do have three embies waiting for us.There is the fear that what if it doesn't work,they make the thaw etc. We will be discussing what the RE feels we should do when we go.He will be able to tell us if he believes we need additional set as he can discuss the quality of our remaining embryos with us at that time.I know that we pretty much have only one shot at this in 2011 unless a miracle happens.So if our set doesn't make it and we have paid out all our money on meds monitoring etc.There will not be enough to for everything next time.So then we are through for 2011. Which will be heartbreaking.Plus we know we want more kids so it might not be a horrible idea (if we can afford to) to get on the list before it goes up again. Gulp! So there you have it girls thats the latest.I will also leave you with some photos of my cuties.

Learning young what Michigan winters are all about lol Believe or not they beg to shovel, yeah I have no idea.... lol







My oldest son "G" and his first night in his new big boy bed, just moved out of his toddler bed.


Nanner and his very first subway kids pack, He loved it!



Me with my baby boys on my birthday.






Our homeschool project peanut butter pinecone bird feeders



Guess who's walking completely unassisted and very steadily.

Thank you so much fellow blogger Melissa for the award

I received this award from a fellow sweet blogger Melissa,thank you so much and I always enjoy hearing from you!

Here are the rules for the acceptance of the award:

1.Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.

2.Share 7 things about yourself.

3.Award 15 other bloggers.

4.Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.


Hmmm 7 things about me....ok here they are in all there quirkiness :-)

1.I sometimes get slightly annoyed when I sneeze multiple times and it almost always annoys me if I do it while driving as it causes my eyes to close and well I kinda like to see where I am going :-P ( I know your laughing already)

2.I love turkey jerky and beef jerky

3.I love giraffes, to the point where my boys own several pieces of clothing and toys that have them on them and I have a few decor and pictures around my home of them (they were taken by me and my mom on separate trips at different zoo's and enlarged):-)And I have turned nanner into a monkey fanatic.

4.I love love love music and love to dance but don't get to do so as much as I like to :-(

5.I love the color pink ,I mean adore it. I have no exact idea why but I it makes me feel good.It may be because I am surrounded by all boys and all I ever see is blue???? lol

6.I am afraid of snakes yup sure am, I have what I like to think is a very healthy dose of fear as I saw a neighbor when I was in my 1st marriage at the age of 18 get bit over and over and over by her "pet" large ball python snake while her boyfriend was helpless to stop it and could not get the snake to uncoil from her arm. The whole incident was unprovoked and happened very suddenly. So yup the whole bloody episode has scarred me for life and I very happy to keep my fear and am not looking to change it thank you!

7.I long for more family.I long to have a more involved mother, sister, brother etc.(my father died when I was a young teen)I am not jealous of what people have/own but of the family and relationships they have as I do not have that in my life.(hubby's family still is not on speaking terms with him/us so we don't have them either)I just wish I had that type of "family" to give to my boys but they just don't have any aunts and uncles, grandparents etc to make over them and take them for visits.I see my mom and sister and her family for holidays and maybe a couple of other times a year and that is it. I also wish I had it for me. What girl doesn't want a mother she can see as her best friend, I sure wish I had that...


Here are the bloggers I am passing this award on to:

Dana

Jess

Tammy

Michele

Tiffany

Kami

Melissa

Paige

Nichole

Ashley

Heather

Britney

Jen

Elizabeth

Hannah

It's my birthday! I'm turning umm 25 again :-)

Me at my birthday dinner







Daddy and Nanner at my birthday dinner



The boys at my birthday dinner






Brotherly love at my birthday dinner







Today is my birthday ,my 34th shhh it's a secret ;-) but we went out to dinner on Saturday to the Outback as that is one of my favorite restaurants and I don't have it much as the nearest one is about 35-40 minutes away. Actually the last time I was there was last year on my birthday lol.Not that we don't get to the city it is in much but we usually go for lighter food most days.Panera bread :-) also my favorite! Outback is a splurge for me since I have been trying to lose my fertility med weight and pregnancy weight. And I am happy to report that I have lost all but 2 pounds of it. I will be posting before and after pics on here.Let me know what you all think. I know one thing I sure as heck feel better.The total of weight lost since last February 23rd is 56 pounds.The grand total lost since I gave birth last December 15th is a whopping 73 POUNDS!!! I feel so different and much better in my own skin.I am now 2 pounds away from my wedding weight which who knows I might weigh less but since AF is here I may be weighing a bit more right now. I usually have water weight during her visit.Anyways we had a very nice meal it was delicious and we had a good time.It was me ,DH, my three boys and my older two boy's dad. Yup you read that right my ex.lol We have that good of a relationship. I know weird but it works and it was his weekend to have the boys so I invited him to join us so we would all be together.In other news I received an award from a fellow blogger and will be addressing that in my next post. Thank you so much Melissa at Frog hoppin daisy's.Now I will be sharing the before and after shots with you all so here they are.Hope everyone is doing well.((hugs))

Me about a week before I gave birth at my heaviest.


I was so miserable in my own skin this is last year on my birthday exactly one year ago today!

Me last February before I started my diet,this was taken while nanner was in the hospital with RSV. I hated having my picture taken back then and the mere sight of the photos made me cry.

Me on this past Saturday January 8th celebrating my birthday early,not minding my picture taken as much! Kinda hard to tell with all the layers I have on but the weight is gone! Michigan is C-O-L-D Girls!!!

Feeling sentimental and fear (with slideshow)

Now that my Nanner is officially 1 year old I find myself getting more and more sentimental.I am in awe of the new things he is doing like talking and walking (yes walking sniff, sniff I will be posting video later)He started officially (distances of about 2-3 feet in length) the day after he turned one.But I also find myself a bit sad and missing my tiny baby boy.I have been trying to soak up every moment of his infanthood but that can be hard with three boys.I feel like I blinked and he is a toddler. I guess when you spend years praying and longing for something you just want it to go slower. I know that it doesn't mean I am losing him I just know that as with my older boys that his need for me is short lived and will be replaced with independence which I encourage.But boy does momma love all her baby boys. :-) With him growing up,time passing, and my 34th Birthday approaching this Monday January 10th it is time to think about the next FET which I think it also allows the fear of IF to raise it's ugly head and for me to wonder about my "next baby". Will it work? Will I stay pregnant? Will I have complications again? Will I lose another baby? If I do stay pregnant will the baby be okay? I know the fear is probably normal but infertility really is like a nagging house guest that never ever leaves.... So in honor of Nanner turning one I dug out the old slide show that I made when he was newborn. I took all of these pics myself when he was 4 weeks old.The slide show is set to music and the song has a meaning so turn your speakers on if possible.The song is the one by Celin*e Dio*n that was written for her son after she struggled with infertilty.The slides last the entire song until you see the the blocks that say 1 month again. I know some of you already saw this back when he was a month but I know some new bloggers haven't and also thought you might like to remember how tiny he was with me :-) Enjoy! ((hugs))

Computer is fixed the reading has begun!

In a previous post I had mentioned that I have been unable to read many of your blogs and that I have been way behind in my blog reading.Well my computer is fixed along with my wireless internet.I got it back and everything fixed just before Christmas so I have been trying to catch up as best as I can after months of not reading. I am so happy for those of you that are pregnant and so excited for those of you that have an upcoming FET etc.I am also saddened to see those that are still struggling to concieve or have lost a baby,my heart breaks for you girls and I am still here for you and am hoping and praying that this will be the year that you get your miracle and that God brings you comfort and strength. Wrapping you in huge warm hugs -Megan

Merry Christmas! (pictures of my gifts)

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!! I just thought I would share with everyone a picture of my gifts from God! He always gives the best presents!

Nanner's first birthday!! with pics part one

I can't believe that my baby boy is 1 already! We had his party on sunday even though his birthday is not until today. His party went really well. It was a small gathering of those closest to us.He has a wonderful day and received some wonderful presents.He ate his entire personal cake I made for him and was covered with it but loved it!I also made him a monkey cake and a baby nanner cake.I made all his cakes up and didn't use a pattern or instructions I was a bit scared how they would turn out but I was pleased.I literally made up the baby nanner cake 2 hours before guests arrived.I thought when else can I make a cake that looks like him? So the baby nanner cake was born :-)I have more pics I want to share but I have been using a pretty old computer of mine right which makes things really slow.My normal dell is off getting fixed finally!!!I am having it completely stripped down and re programmed EEK! I am scared to see what I get back.And if I will lose everything.He was supposed to back it all up but there are no guarantees.The plus side is I am finally able to read some of your blogs again and search some web sites.I will try to post more tomorrow or very soon. Hugs to my girls... P.s Believe it or not he left the first birthday hat on for the entire party, we even put it back on after cake and he left it on.It fell off a few times when he was crawling around and he still didn't care if we put it back on on I was amazed. He usually rips hats right off. :-)

Separate blog

I have decided that I will be creating a separate blog in order to share what's going on in my life. It will not be connected to this blog in any way nor will I link it at all. When it is up and running I will let all of you know and will ask that those that are interested please email me personally. My email is on my blog and I will send you the new blog address. There will be no pics and no names used on my new blog it will simply serve as a way for me to share with all of you what is and has been going on. Plus it may help me feel a bit better to get it out, who knows.I do ask that you do not mention any of what is going on in that blog in this blog or on facebook.Comment moderation is enabled on this blog and will be on that blog too. And as far as facebook goes if I have to I will delete you.Sorry no offense but what may be gossip to others is actually the pain of my life and it hurts.It is my hope that anyone who does choose to follow will do so with respect and kindness and will be there to encourage,listen and lift me up not beat me down as I do not need that right now.If all goes well then the blog will remain public if not it will go private.