Saturday, January 30, 2010

Birth story part 2

So after my OB assuring me that things would be fine we then left her office and headed for home which was only 7 minutes away.We had to get our hospital bags,let the dogs out,grab extra key for my ex husband to let our dogs out and watch the house while we were away.We stopped to my ex's house, kissed my 4 year old (he had the boys already since it had been his weekend he keeps them until Monday afternoon since he works second,my 6 year old was at school),gave my ex the keys dropped the boys bags off which included elaborate instructions for a friend of ours that was gonna sit for them while their dad worked that night.We then headed for the birth center me still having contractions which luckily is only 3 minutes from my ex's house.We then went to the front desk and told them that our OB had wanted me to be admitted.The looked around for papers but could not find orders.They just left me standing there in horrible pain having contractions.DH who was very irritated at them by this point said "what is she supposed to do, you gonna just leave her standing at the desk in labor?????" The lady was like "oh well you guys can go down to the family waiting room while we contact her OB."I was thinking to myself are you serious? But I really had no other choice.So we go down the hall to the family waiting room which was full of people and kids running back and forth.One almost ran full blast into my pregnant belly!!It was complete chaos kids were putting things in the microwave and repeatedly slamming it and people were yelling and laughing loudly.I was so overwhelmed, sleep deprived and in so much pain.I told DH with tears starting to come"I can't do this I can't be in here anymore". So we got up and went back out in the hall and he went to the front desk and was like"you are gonna have to put her somewhere she is in labor and it is crazy in the waiting room!" So they then put me in testing and hooked me up to the monitors etc. They still had not and were not admitting me.After I was gowned and connected to the monitors they checked my cervix , and commented how hard it was to get to my cervix and how the baby's head was " oh my, right there!". I was dilated 3 cm and I was 90% effaced. So not much change from before but there was change.They could see on the monitor that I was having contractions but it is impossible to tell how intense they are without an internal monitor.But trust me they were horrible!! They then went to report their findings to the OB doc that was there from my OB office and I guess he decided that it was pointless to admit me since I was not more dilated etc. I was like "what!" I am having horrible contractions and my own doctor sent me here.So this went around for hours them not wanting to admit me and me being in horrible none medicated pain laying there as it was left at that I would have to wait for my own OB to finish her shift at her office and come admit me herself.So 6 1/2 hours passed with no pain meds and me just laying on my back waiting and writhing in tremendous pain.I was having such bad contractions that all I could do was cry and grip the bed rails waiting for someone to do something. I was in the testing area where there were 4 other beds for people to be in and only curtains separating us. I had no real privacy.My doctor didn't show up until between 6:45pm and then finally after several minutes of haggling got me admitted. She was pissed that no one had admitted me and that they made her come and do it herself instead of just taking care of me, she then left to go get her IV meds done.I finally had a room by 8pm that night. Now I remind you we arrived there at 1pm, so 7 hours later I was finally admitted.Even after I was the staff acted as though I was a waste of their time and that there was no way this baby was coming anytime soon, so umm why hurry. They all moved in slow motion and laughed and talked amongst themselves while barely taking care of me.So after they did start to pay more attention to me they asked me if I wanted an epidural and I said "Yes!!" "I have been in labor for 3 days I want an epidural" Then the one nurse tried to talk me out of it saying well you won't be able to walk the halls or get in the tub if you have one". I was like I have already walked the halls here and at home and taken hot baths for the past three days it is overrated, just give me the epidural.She seemed annoyed that I wanted one and said it would take an hour or so to get someone there. I was like seriously? So we waited and waited. Me still in severe pain. And people still checking me going "wow his head is right there" I was so sick of hearing this statement at this point it seemed pointless to them that it just may hurt a bit, a ton to have your baby trying push his own way out of my uterus since my cervix wasn't cooperating.Of course the resident doctor was a piece of work he was the creepiest and skeeviest, most unprofessional doctor I have ever met,maybe I will write about that another time as he left an emotional mark on me forever.So the anesthesiologist gets there and the epidural goes very smooth and he is the nicest person on staff that I had dealt with at that point.Not to long after the epidural was done they called in creepy resident doc so he could break my bag of water.Then they asked if I wanted to be cathed I was like "no". So they let me try to use the potty chair real quick so I could start of with a empty bladder and to see if I was capable of going without a catheter.I was successful so no cath, yea! for something.Within 10 minutes I was feeling a ton of pressure and told the nurse.Her answer back was it's probably good pressure, probably means your cervix is changing.I was like "umm ok."So after a few more times of me mentioning the pressure was really strong and that I also felt burning, and her still telling me I was fine and it was good pressure she checked my cervix was which was now at 5cm.She was a bit surprised but didn't seem to worried yet.She was like "good your making progress, I am gonna go get the pitocin so we can get that going." The whole staff there felt that after I was given pain meds and given pitocin the earliest that my baby would be born would be Tuesday late afternoon the next day.They felt that I was too little dilated and not progressed enough to deliver anytime soon.They acted as If I did not know my own body and that I was being a wimp coming in so early.They did discover after they decided to hook up the internal monitor that I was having very strong and long contractions. Hmm really, geez I had no idea?????,Maybe I should have told them about them, Except I DID!!! Over and over ,ever since I got there that day and when my husband called 1 and 2 days before that Monday!! So the nurse was getting ready to hang and start the pitocin (because they all genuinely believed that I needed this drug to have the baby since I wasn't in "real" labor yet."whatever")I never asked for it nor did I really want it.But before she could finish even opening it I told her "I have a ton of pressure and burning I can barely breath and can feel something moving inside of me". "She was like umm I guess I will check you real quick". She did and then she looked surprised and panicked.She told me I was now at 8 plus cm's completely effaced and that she really needed to get a hold of the OB doc that was on call but she wasn't sure he would make it in time.They had spent some much time betting on that I was just some wimp who did not know her own body that they hadn't even planned that I would deliver without several hours of pitocin on my own.The fact of the matter was after the epidural was placed and after they broke my water and then I guess me emptying my bladder allowed my uterus to progress very quickly.It was just like my own OB said that I was in labor but my body was not co operating and if I get pain relief it probably would.It was only about 45 minutes or less after the epidural was placed that I had progressed to 5 cm and then about 30 minutes after that I was at 8 plus cm and then the rest of the time was spent waiting for the on call OB to arrive.By the time he arrived I was beyond ready to push. Everyone got into position and I started to push It only took me 15 minutes of actual pushes to get him out.They were all amazed that I got him out so quick.They said it is rare for a woman that is giving birth for the first time to go that quick especially since I also had an epidural which can slow things down. All I can say is I had been in labor for 3 days and Mason and I were both ready to get this done.I also had the worry of my little mason as his heart rate started to dip during labor before the OB doc arrived they had me move in bed to different positions including my knees to try to get his heart rate up. After the Ob finally got there little mason still continued to have huge dips in his heart rate, I could see the monitor while I was pushing and I knew I had to get my baby boy out fast.He would dip down to 60 from 148bpm.It was scary! They said since he had been in my pelvis so long with all of the contractions I had been having he was being squeezed and in distress.Hmm I wonder who"s fault that is!! I told them hours even days before that I was indeed in labor!! But they didn't want to believe me. When he came out he had a huge bruise on his head from being posterior (which explains the back labor), he turned just before coming out.They said his head kept slamming against my pelvic bones during contractions and the fact that he had been trying to get out for so long.So all along he was indeed trying to make his own way out since my cervix would not co operate due to me being in so much pain and exhausted, but no one would listen to me.He also had a bleeding cut on his head where his internal monitor ripped out as he was being born I felt so bad for him.A minute or two after he was born they took him and looked him over and decided that he was a bit grunty and may be having trouble breathing properly.His pulse/Oxygen level was a bit low and they wanted to bring him to the nursery for further observation and continued care.So we only saw him for a couple minutes and he was gone, that was hard.I did end up getting a 2nd degree tear so that needed to be attended to and apparently they cut a couple small cysts out of inside me while they were in there, without asking me first "umm thanks, maybe I was saving those" just kidding but it would have been nice to be asked or even told what they were doing since I didn't even know I had any cysts inside me.After he was born the nurse told me that I was only minutes away from a emergency c-section as the OB and resident doc had not planned to let the labor go on much longer with the baby's heart rate dropping like that. I had no idea that a c section was that close to happening but I am glad I got baby boy out as quick as I did.All I have to say is that epidurals do not take away all the pain they only help with contractions which I could still feel,but it did not help with any of the umm who who pain. I felt everything, the burning,stretching, tearing, pressure you name it and boy did that hurt, bad. But it still was more tolerable than being in back labor for 3 days with no meds because at least there was an end in sight.................I will stop here for now as I have already typed a ton and it will be a long read for all of you.I will finish the story and catch you up on the goings on around here during our first weeks home and current.Until next time hugs to you all!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Mason 1 month pictures on my new slide show

I just added a slide show to my blog and on it right now are Mason's one month pictures.The first song that plays when you view my blog is one that I picked out specially for how we feel about our little miracle arriving and it fits my slidshow perfectly.I took all of the pictures myself and hope you all enjoy them.Let me know what you think.I was pretty happy with how they turned out.I like shooting photos in black and white.There are 21 photos that I have put on there for now I have a few more and will post them later.The snowflake in the pictures is the same one that we bought when we first received our embryo set.There is a picture of it at the bottom of my blog from when we first got it.And the cross necklace that is in the picture is the one I wear all the time and I too have a picture of me holding it the day of our wedding while I was getting ready.The bear is one that we made for him while I was pregnant.I wanted to include items that are sentimental to us.I will work on the next post in my birth story tonight and will add it soon.Thank you for your supportive comments they really mean a lot to me.Hope you all are doing well.((hugs))

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Birth story part 1 and Sunday was my 33rd Birthday

Well where should I begin,it all started days before when on that Thursday night/very early Friday morning (December 11th) I woke up with pretty bad cramps. I ignored them and tried to fall back sleep figuring they were just very early labor pains or braxton hicks. The cramps got worse through out the day.I still was not in immense pain yet.Very uncomfortable yes, screaming out in pain no.That night (Friday night) it got way worse and the cramps/contractions got much more painful. I did not sleep that whole night except a 10-15 minute nap here and there as the contractions kept waking me up.They got even stronger as the night wore on DH was timing them and they were anywhere from 5-15 minutes apart. By the next morning (Saturday 12-12-09) I was in a lot of pain and could no longer just wait it out, so we went into the birthing center that afternoon and they hooked me up to the monitors etc and checked my cervix. They said I was dilated to 1cm and 70% effaced.They too said my cervix was very hard to get to since his head was coming down in front of it which was pushing my cervix to the back of me.( I mention this on a previous post when I had a OB appointment but apparently my cervix was even farther back this time and his head further down, the nurse even said "wow his head is like right there!") They told us to walk the halls for 30 minutes if there was no change I would be sent home, which is what happened.They said I was most likely in very early labor and there was nothing to do but to go home.I went home still in a lot of pain which only got worse.By that night I was in excruciating pain I was moaning out loud and partially screaming. I was in tears most of the time. I felt helpless and frustrated and very very tired.Each time I would dose off it would only be for a couple minutes and when a contraction hit I would fly out of bed as fast as I could all pregnant and huge and stand up with my hands resting on the bed for balance and moan and sway and cry. My back was killing me the pain was so bad that when the contraction happened I could not get off my back fast enough.Dh was trying to comfort me by rubbing my back but it didn't help, only seemed to make it worse since there was no part of me that wanted to be touched at all. I had no idea how to comfort myself so there was little chance that he could either.By the next day, Sunday (12-13-09) I was exhausted, miserable and feeling like a failure.I felt like if this is early labor and I am in this much pain I must be a huge wimp.All the books say how early labor is only mildly uncomfortable and that most women continue with their daily routine. I was like are you kidding me there is no way I can hardly walk much less continue with my daily routine.I tried everything that Sunday to help the pain I tried breathing techniques, heat packs, sitting in a warm tub and massage. None of it helped at all. DH called the birthing center that night(Sunday night) to tell them how much pain I was in and that my contractions had been very regular and at a point 2 minutes apart.Now while I was having contractions 2 minutes apart they would not stay that way they did however follow a very regular pattern which only served to confuse us more. They had been anywhere from 2-15 minutes apart never more never less. It would start like this I would have two 15 minute apart contractions and then maybe two 9 minute apart contractions then three or four 5 minute apart ones and then three or four 2 minute ones.And they were all lasting two minutes each. The whole cycle would repeat itself over and over again.The nurse at the birthing center was not convinced I was in actual labor yet due to the varying lengths of my contractions. He told her I was in immense pain in turn she was snotty to DH and said "You know it is called labor for a reason.If you come in then you most likely will be sent home but I guess you can come in if you want" I was sitting in our tub crying the whole he was on the phone with her.We both decided to wait it out since we knew our chances of being taken seriously were slim to none. I also was thankful that I had an OB appointment the next morning and was hoping at least my OB would listen.So I for the 3rd night now went without any real sleep I had a 5- 10 minutes between contractions but honestly I was worn out. My entire being was exhausted mind and body.I made it to my OB appointment and was in so much pain there that even the nurse noticed I wasn't my happy self and said something to DH while I was collecting my urine sample he then told her I was in a lot of pain and bit about what was going on. I went to the exam room after finishing in the bathroom where I continued to be miserable. I braced myself against the counter as contraction after contraction came. I was in tears and that is when my OB came in and took one look at me and knew I was in actual labor not early labor especially after we told her what the previous days had held.She then said I want to you admitted today, right now. Her theory about my pain and lack of cervical dilation was that I was in so much pain and so incredibly sleep deprived that I was in labor and had been for days but my body was so worn out that my cervix would not progress.She said if I got admitted and got some pain relief she had a pretty good feeling that I would progress on my own and if not we would proceed with the previously scheduled induction a day early.The bad side was that she could not be there, as she herself has a auto immune condition that requires her to get IV meds every Monday and that was what day it was. She said no worries though as one of the other OB's would be there to take care of me. It ended up being the only one in the practice that I had yet to meet............This is where I will end for now as my story is quite long and at times very disappointing and emotionally hurtful.I don't want to overwhelm any of you with too long of a post, rest assured that I will finish it and I am sorry that it has taken this long. I have been a bit blue/down due to it,lack of sleep and changing hormones that is partially why I have not posted in so long.I have however been still following all of you wonderful ladies just haven't felt like posting until now. ((hugs)) I will include a few pics of our precious baby!

My snowflake items

My snowflake items
DH got me these after we officially accepted our set of snowflake babies